The More Things Change
by G1 ArchAngel
Summary: The Multiverse Theory. Infinite possibility embodied. One situation can result in so many different results. This is just one of those differences. (Reboot to my original series.)
1. The Beginning of Something New

Chapter 1: The Beginning of Something New

 **Hey, everyone. It's me. I…have something important to tell you all, and it's kind of the reason I made this in the first place. Back when "Welp, this is a thing" was still being written, there was a point where I wanted things to go differently, but it was too late to make major changes. And as I've been writing "We're really doing this again?", I…discovered that I didn't enjoy writing it anymore. That I didn't like writing some characters that just stroll in and save the day. So, I'm canning it. I can't keep trying to write a Superman story, which is what it's become, really. IRL will be finished, and I'm using that as a way to also give WRDTA an ending too. With all the heartfelt mushy stuff taken care of, please, enjoy this attempt to right what I feel were wrongs.**

As we all know, life is full of choices. Get up or sleep in. Cereal or toaster waffles. Go about your regular day or punch some fucker in the face. Each time you make one of these decisions, you create a branching path. A new series of possibilities. That's the basis of the Multiverse Theory. This is just one of the ways things can play out.

My name is Steven Stanton, and I'm just a regular guy enjoying his summer after earning his Associate's degree in Electrical Engineering Technology. I'm in the middle of a hobby of mine, writing for a little place called , when things got noticeably…weird. I had to stop writing for my story IRL when the Bill Burr comedy special I had pulled up on Netflix froze. Not the most uncommon occurrence, but it didn't end there. The frozen image slowly changed in that snow like static you see on old TVs before distorting severely.

"Why does this seem so…Oh, Hell no!" The unfortunate thing about the layout of my room is that my TV is right on the route towards my door. The only real option I had was to latch onto my closet doorknob. As time passed, the pull I felt that started to break my grip. 'So, this is how I due…Some magic TV portal like from my very first story…' The hold I had finally broke and the force pulled me into the swirling darkness that was on the screen.

When light finally graced my eyes again, after what seemed like hours, I was about ten feet above what appeared to be a lake. I splashed down hard onto my left side and sank quite a ways before swimming up and to shore.

"Great…I'm soaked, I'm cold, and I don't have any shoes on. Let's see how things'll get worse." After removing my dripping wet socks, I followed the first dirt path that I found, which was only behind a couple layers of trees. After what had to be twenty minutes of walking, I came across three girls having an argument.

"How long are you gonna chat while sitting on me!?" A black haired girl yelled from beneath a purple haired one.

"Holy seat cushions! Someone's sprouting out of the earth! Are the mole people making their move!?" Okay, this was too weird to intervene. I mean, how do you not notice that you're sitting on another person?

"No…You were just sitting on her back…"

"Whoa! Where'd this guy come from?" The strange girl in what looked like a hoodie over a sleeveless dress asked.

"I've been standing here for a few minutes, watching this craziness. Are you okay?" I answered the girl before regarding the sat on girl.

"Um…Yeah, I'm fine. Who are you, and why don't you have any shoes on?" Let's shenanigans a thing, because I've got nothing that'll seem sane.

"I woke up on island in the middle of a lake like this. Hell, the only reason my pants are up is that my hands are in my pockets. I have no idea where I am or how I got there. Oh, and my name's Steven. What's yours?"

"I'm Plutia…That's Noire and this is Neppy…" The third girl present answered. She sounded tired and looked like she was wearing pajamas. "Nice to meet you, Stevie." Just roll with it Steven. Just roll with it.

"Jeez, this is the first time I've seen a guy with an actual player model. How come your clothes are so loose?"

"I wish I knew. Really, I do."

"*sigh*…You two clearly don't have anywhere to go. Come on, Plutia, we're bringing them home with us." The girl in what looked like a chest only corset and an extremely short skirt said.

"Thanks." I regretted going with them, seeing as how Neptune had spent the entire trip trying to convince Noire that she knew her.

"How many times do I gotta say it!? Are you listening to my words!? It's me! And you know me Noire!" We had arrived at Plutie's home, which was this massive building that was in the dead center of the city.

"Hey, Plutie?" I whispered, leaning towards the sleepy girl that I was sharing a couch with.

"Yes?"

"Do you happen to have any pain medicine? These two are giving me a headache."

"I think there's some in the cabinet in the bathroom."

"Alright, thank you." I found the bathroom after a bit of exploring and found the bottle that was labeled "Headache Relief". "Well, that was easy." I took enough pills for the recommended dose and headed back to the living room.

"Aww, you don't have any friends? That's soooooo sad…Huh? Waaaait, does that mean WE aren't friends…?" I came back at a weird time.

"Um…What did I just come back to?"

"This crazy girl is spouting nonsense! And of course we're friends!"

"We are? Yaaaaaaaay…!"

"The magic of friendship aside, I'd like to ask a favor."

"What is it?" Neptune asked.

"Some pants." I said, pointing at the purple towel that was the only thing protecting my modesty. You know, one of those things that they managed to forget about. "Currently, my only pair are in the dryer and way too big."

"That IS a problem…Hold up one of your arms."

"Why?"

` "So I'm not just guessing what sizes you wear."

"Oh, alright." Once she was done, she wrote all of the numbers she came up with down.

"Come on, Noire. We can go to the store that's close by." Plutie suggested, tugging at the black haired girl's detached sleeve.

"Fine, but she's coming too. I can't trust her to not break something."

"I'm not that bad!" Neptune cried as Noire dragged her away by the collar. I sat in that towel for five hours. FIVE FUCKING HOURS! And the air conditioning was on!

"Sorry we took so long. This one made us get clothes for her too, and Plutia fell asleep on a bench." Noire said, handing me several bags.

"I'm just gonna go put these on now. It's a little drafty in here."

"Okay." Plutie drawed out before flopping face first onto a couch.

Out of all of the combinations available to me, I went with the simplest. That just so happened to be what I'd wear on a regular basis; jeans and a t-shirt. I couldn't keep the frown off of my face because most of the shirts were purple. The rest were black, and it was just too hot for that. The jeans were black and blue, so at least I had options for a later date.

"So, how do I look?" I asked, clad in one of the purple shirts with a pair of the black jeans. It's nice that they got me underwear and socks too.

"Better than before." Noire answered.

"Cool. Now to see if the shoes fit."

"…We, uh…didn't get any shoes…" Neptune said.

"We'll get some on our way to the Guild." Noire stated.

"The Guild? Why do we gotta go there when we've got all these games?"

"Because if you're going to be staying here, I refuse to let you drag Plutia down with your laziness. Now come on and pull your weight!"

"Um…whose are these?" Plutia asked, holding something in her hands. Wait, is that…

"My glasses!" The object in her hands was the plastic case the glasses place gave me. I took them out and placed them on my face.

"You need glasses? Ha! Nerd!"

"And proud of it, you twerp."

"Are you two going to fiiight…? I don't like it when friends fight." The temperature in the room dropped as a scowl made its way onto the normally sleepy girl's face.

"Nuh-uh! Nope! No fighting here!"

"Yeah, I wasn't fighting with her. That was just friendly prodding."

"Okay." She seemed to buy it, and Noire demanded we leave now.

"Hey, I don't mean to be a nuisance, but there's one more thing I need." I said, now wearing a pair of black sneakers with white strips running across it horizontally.

"What is it this time?" Neptune asked.

"I don't have a weapon or anything, and if we're going back into the forest, I'm sure that something in there will screw me over pretty hard."

"Well, there's a weapons salesman in the Guild, so we could find something pretty cheap for you there." It didn't take much longer to get to the Guild. It was a large building made of sculpted stone and metal.

"Man, what's up with this? I try to play and then I'm told to go work. This is like déjà vu…Last time it was Histy up in my grill, but now it's Noire."

"Hey, at least she isn't making you do chores, Neptune." I joked. "That living room needed some serious cleaning, and I don't even want to know what her bedroom looks like."

"Will you two come on already? We're burning daylight." Noire stated, standing in one of the many doorways. We quickly made our way inside and I couldn't help but look around.

"So this is where you can go and accept people's requests and make money." I muttered, still taking in the grand building.

"You know about this?" Plutie asked.

"They had something like this in a book I've read." Can't tip my hand and make things weird yet.

"I know about 'em too! I had to do a whole bunch as the CPU of Planeptune."

"You're sticking to that story?" Noire said to Neptune. "It's getting painful to hear, so stop while you're ahead."

"Look, I love the fact that you two like to argue over this so much, but can we move on to what we came here to do?" I asked.

"All I'm saying is that Plutia is the CPU of Planeptune, so she can't be."

"And I'm telling you that I AM a CPU!"

"Then prove it. If you're really a CPU, then transform." The embarrassment I felt from being in the presence of a real person trying to be a magical girl was so mind numbing I don't even remember all the details.

"I'm gonna need a drink after this shit show. And some brain bleach. Can we PLEASE move on?" We did, but the smug look on Noire's face was impossible to miss. Said young woman gave us a tour of the building, and we ended it, for the most part, at the merchant.

"Whaddaya buyin'?" The Merchant asked in a gravelly voice, face hidden by a scarf.

"This noob's never been on a quest before, so something he could use." Neptune said condescendingly.

"Neppy, stop being mean." Plutie practically growled.

"I've got something in mind." From the long black coat he, the enshrouded man pulled out what could only be described as a walking stick, except that it was longer than I was tall. "This should do nicely.

"How much do we owe you?" Noire asked.

"Nothing this time. Think of it as…investing in a new regular…"

"That's so nice of you." Plutie commented with a content smile.

"Time to go get a quest." Man, Noire's really taken the reigns today. The area that held the actual quests was relatively small compared to the amount of reception desks there was. There were six plastic bins label E, D, C, B, A and S, and I assume that those were the difficulty ratings for the various quests.

"I got this!" Neptune exclaimed, reaching into the E bin.

"Um, excuse you, but I had this first." A red haired girl said, holding the same quest that Neptune had a hold of.

"Hey, am I seeing things, or does she have animal ears and a tail?" I asked, staring at the, admittedly, attractive girl. She had her crimson hair pulled up in a high ponytail, held there by a metallic crown looking thing. Her eyes were several shades darker than my ice blue. Her outfit was…a thing. She wore a red Chinese style dress that wrapped around her neck, clung to her chest, and exposed her back and hips/upper thighs. The ends of the two skirt-flap things went down to her knees and looked like gold feathers. Said feathers turned into a gold flame design once they reached her waist and went up over her bust. Her very visible legs were mostly covered by black fishnet-like stockings with gold and blue bands holding it up at her things, and she had on red high heeled dress boots.

"They look so fluffy…" Of course that would be the first thought on Plutie's mind.

"No, I'm sure those are real."

"Hands off, foxy, it's mine!"

"I'm a wolf, actually." She said while one of her ears twitched.

"Why can't we just do it together? It's not like we can't split the reward and there's strength in numbers." I suggested, hoping to defuse an argument…or worse. After a second of what I think is her thinking, she threw her hands up.

"Sure. Why not? There's another quest for the same place, so we can pick that one up too."

"What's your name?" Plutia asked. "I'm Plutia."

"I'm Cynthia O'Brian. Nice to meet you."

"I'm Neptune, the main protagonist!" Everyone, including the randos that were nearby, deadpanned.

"That aside, I'm Steven Stanton." I said, waving the makeshift staff.

"Noire. Now come on, I'd like to get this done as soon as possible." Neptune, Noire and Plutia ended up taking the lead, and I ended up hanging back, getting a feel for the weapon I didn't know how to use outside of random swinging and the occasional poke.

"So, I couldn't help but notice that you were staring at me earlier." Cynthia said out of nowhere, spooking me a bit.

"S-Sorry…" I muttered, turning away.

"Don't worry about it. I'm used to people giving me odd looks. The only other people that look like me are cosplayers." I think she noticed the color that came with the burning feeling that I felt all over my face. "Or is it that you liked what you saw?"

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't…" My lack of social experience is really coming back to haunt me, especially seeing as how I didn't mean to say that out loud.

"Thanks. Really."

"You don't get many complements, do you?" I ask, all embarrassment replaced with concern because of the sad tone in her voice.

"Not really. This isn't exactly normal, you know?"

"I can't tell if you're proving a point or getting me to look at your ass."

"You must not have any experience with women then."

"None, really. Just family and friends."

"Really?"

"I used to be a pretty big guy. Weight's hard to lose, and where I'm from, looks tend to be more important."

"What a bummer convo you're having back here. Come on, we're almost there." Well, that certainly breaks the sour mood.

"You heard her, let's get going." Cynthia said, smile returning to her face as the somewhat crazy girl left.

"Alright."

"There's sooo much to do…" Plutia whined, looking at the details of the quests we took as we walked a bit further into Otori Forest.

"It's only two quests, and there's five of us. This'll be a breeze." Neptune said, her voice oozing confidence.

"We could always split up. One team for each quest. They're both about killing a certain amount of an enemy, and it'll actually give me the chance to see how guaranteed I am to die." I half joked.

"Stop being pessimistic, you'll be fine. Here, we'll take the Jellies, you can go for the Froggies." Cynthia said. "They're a bit higher level, so it'll be worth your time."

"Sounds like a plan. Come on, you two." Noire commended.

"Bye-bye~!" Plutie said, walking off.

"Fine. Have fun on your date!" Neptune cried as she ran to catch up.

"It's not a-! Oh, fuck it. It's not worth it…So, how are we gonna play this out?"

"I'm just going to hang back and help you out if you really need it." She replied, drawing a knife from…somewhere…

"This is gonna suck." After a bit more walking, there was a blue Jell-O cube with a weird face on it. "That it?"

"Yup. Go get 'em." I brought my stick down on its head like it was a sledgehammer and learn that the encounter system from the game was actually how this world worked. One turned into three, and I instantly began to panic.

"Oh, this isn't good…" Thanks for the vote of confidence, Cynthia. Real helpful.

"Well, I have a stick, and I guess it's time to do my impression of a caveman." Deciding to take a defensive approach, I simply batted away the goo monsters away with my blunt weapon. Surprisingly, I was actually doing damage, but the fight took a while because of my strategy. "*Huff, huff* Okay…I'm gonna need to find someone to teach me how to use this thing."

"That WAS pretty sloppy."

"Thanks. I needed that comment, about as much as that one from when I started that fight."

"Heh…Sorry."

"It's fine. How many did the quest say we needed to kill?"

"Five…Hey, do you feel different?"

"Well, I wasn't tired before."

"*Facepalm*…That's not what I meant, smartass."

"This does feel a little lighter…" I commented, lifting my weapon.

"Congrats! You leveled up for the first time."

"RPG logic. Neat."

"Hopefully we only have one more fight to go."

"Knowing my luck? Not very likely." I know myself too well. Standing up, I charge at another of the slimes and there was only one. "Hm…I wanna try something." As it advance on my, a shot my stick down underneath it like it was a shovel before popping the thing up into the air. As it fell, since the one end was already behind my right shoulder, I brought it forward and sent it crashing into a tree.

"Four down, one to go."

"Hey, what would happen if I kill it before the encounter starts?" I ask the wolf girl.

"I…I honestly don't know."

"…Hold my stick…"

"Phrasing."

"I know how I said that, 'Tia." From the corner of my eye I saw the girl freeze. "What's wrong?"

"Sorry. It's just that someone I used to know called me that." She answered, taking the walking stick from me. It was comedic, seeing this girl that could only be a few inches taller than five feet hold a stick that was taller than my five-ten. Once both my hands were free, I did the one thing I was sort of descent at in football. I tackled it. As I landed, I could feel the monster stretch before exploding into a gooey mess.

"I'm going to have to change my shirt." The corpse had already started to stain the article of clothing I had just received today. "But hey, killing them before a fight works. It did work, right?"

"Amazingly." Noire said with some snark.

"Oh, you're back. I'm guessing you're done?" Cynthia asked the group.

"Uh-huh…Did you have fun?" Plutie asked.

"Fun isn't the word I'd use, but I can't say I didn't learn anything. Does anyone have the time? I'd check my phone, but even if I did have it on me, my forced swimming session would've ruined it."

"It's a few minutes to five." Plutie said, looking at a thin silver watch on her left wrist. "Dinner time already? But I didn't get anything out…"

"I've got…four thousand credits." Neptune said, rifling through a trifold wallet that a guy would use. "What? It fits in my pocket better."

"I have more than enough to get something for Plutia and I to eat somewhere."

"Does she have any money?" Cynthia asked.

"I'm on an allowance. I end up spending it on snacks and things for sewing."

"And I'm broke. The only money I have is the few hundred that I'll get from the rewards."

"I'll cover you. You can pay me back later."

"Are you sure you two aren't dating?" Neptune teased.

"We aren't dating! We just met!" The two of us yelling the same thing at the same time probably doesn't help.

"Relax, I'm just messing with you two."

"I know a place we can go." Plutie said, shifting the conversation back to the original topic. "Come on." She moved with an incredible amount of purpose towards wherever she was thinking about.

"Wait! We still have to turn in the quests!" Noire called out.

"Ooooh…Riiiight." It took us about twenty minutes to get back to the Guild and split up the reward. Wooo! I'm now a whopping three hundred credits richer! "Come on! Let's go!" The CPU whined. She took us to this little hole in the wall diner. And holy shit it was amazing. Or is that just my diner bias talking? While we waited for our meal, Plutie and Noire explained some stuff about CPUs.

"Wait, so you need some one-in-a-million item just to attempt to become a CPU?" Cynthia asked before taking a bite of her sandwich.

"And you have a better chance to become some freaky monster than a CPU? That's one Hell of a gamble." I added, munching on the fries that came with my burger.

"It'll be worth it, though. There's so many people out there on the rest of the continent that need a CPU's protection." Noire said with nothing but seriousness in her voice. But once that was done, we moved on to friendly chatter that we hadn't gotten the chance to have earlier today.

"So, are we having a sleepover? I don't have anywhere to go, and the Basilicom is right there." Neptune asked, pointing at the massive builing.

"We don't have any futons…" Plutie frowned. "And there's only extra bed."

"I'll just go home. I have laundry to do." Noire said, standing up from her chair. "I'll see you tomorrow, Plutia."

"Bye!"

"I call dibs on Plutie!" Neptune yelled.

"Yaaaay!" She cheered, latching onto her purple haired friend.

"Looks like I owe you for more than just dinner now."

"Don't worry about it. I got this apartment in case a friend needed a place to stay."

"So, shall we then? These two are a little preoccupied."

"Let's."

"See you two later then." I said, waving to them as we paid our bill and left. Her place was a ten minutes away from the Guild. The first thing you could see was books. So many books. The one window was framed by bookshelves. The furniture was soft, but not so soft that you feel like you couldn't get up, and almost all of it was red. She had a descent sized TV hanging from the wall and it had a game console and a VHS player under it. All in all, I could tell that it was a cozy place.

"And here's the room that you'll use."

"Thanks. Man, I sound like a broken record with how many times I've said that word today."

"Hahaha! Yeah, I guess you do. Well, the bathroom is down the hall on the left. Just let me know before you decide to take a shower."

"As long as you do the same. I don't wanna die for taking a leak."

"No problem." The two of us didn't really interact much for the rest of the night, which I was okay with. It gives me time to just collect my thought. I ended up just pulling a book off of one of the shelves, and the only thing I heard from her was when she let me know she was taking a bath. I was mid-sentence in this sci-fi book when I felt my head hit the desk.

 **There we go. All done. I hope you all enjoyed, and I'll see you next time I post.**


	2. Evening the Odds

Chapter 2: Evening the Odds

 **Hey! So, I have yet to type up that chapter of IRL. My bad for anyone waiting on it. It's just that I've seriously gotten my drive back since starting this story, and I want something to do during the two and a half hour car ride to RIT. I really don't have much else to say, so on with the show.**

I woke up without opening my eyes, feeling something warm against my chest and something soft brushing against my nose. I tried brushing it away and going back to sleep, but it kept coming back.

"…Ugh…What…?" I finally gave up on going back to sleep and opened my eyes. When I did, I saw that the soft thing against my nose was a certain someone's twitching right ear wolf ear. "Oh…Questions need to be asked."

"Questions will be answered."

"Um…So…This…" My face felt very warm. I must look like a fool.

"Not really a question, but I understand. When I got out of the bath, I saw that your door was open and you were passed out at the desk. I picked you up and tried to put you into bed, but you wouldn't let go of me."

"Sorry…I, uh, do that when I'm sleeping."

"I noticed."

"So, you just decided to roll with it?"

"Well, it would've been rude of me to wake you up."

"Oh…So…Should we get up?"

"Probably. I had a few things planned for today." She sat up and stretched and HOLY FUCK! I'm pretty sure my heart skipped a few beats at the sight of this woman that was way out of my league. The long ponytail was undone, allowing the strands to flow down her back, her chest was barely covered by an undone dress shirt, and I'm fairly certain she doesn't have pants on. If she couldn't tell the thoughts that were running through my mind by the fire that my face felt like, she'd have to be the densest being in existence. "We need to go get groceries, seeing as how I don't have enough food for two of us. Then we're going to get you some training." As she stood up, I could confirm that she was, in fact, not wearing any pants. Instead, she just had on a pair of simple black panties and solid white thigh socks. "You coming?" She asked, turning back towards me, and her chest jiggled enough to catch my eye.

"I might if you stay here." She stood there, staring at me with a blush on her face before slowly exiting. "Smooth, Steven. Real. Fucking. Smooth. I've just made things as awkward as human possible." After an ample amount of time spent self-admonishing, I went to get something for breakfast and hoped we wouldn't cross paths for a while. Things never go my way though.

"Noire just brought over your clothes. You should go change. That Jelly slime tends to smell after being out in the open for too long."

"Y-Yeah…Hey, I'm sorry about earlier. I just…It just kind of slipped out." How did I miss that she changed into a white sundress?

"How about we just forget about it?"

"I wish I could. Really, I do. Could I just make it up to you? Make breakfast, maybe?"

"Stay away from my kitchen! It's mine!"

"Okay!" I shouted, throwing my hands in the air. "Your kitchen! Got it! I'll…just go change then…You can just…go back to what you were doing." I grabbed the bags off of the couch and hauled ass outta there. I swapped out the stained purple shirt for a clean one and the black jeans for a blue pair. "I smell bacon." In order to not have my head removed from my shoulders, I very quietly snuck my way back to the kitchen/dining room. "Bacon?"

"Bacon. Don't worry, I don't bite…Much…"

"Kinky." Seeing as how the coast was clear, I was able to properly appreciate the wonderful smelling spread that was strewn across the counter. There was eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes, and bagels. All of the good stuff. "So, let me get this straight. You can pick me up with relative ease, are a total badass if your Guild card is to be believed, can magic yourself a knife, AND can cook? Is there anything you can't do?"

"Y-Yeah…There's a few things…"

"Like what?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"…ca- -im…" She turned away from the table, human ears as red as her animal ones.

"What?"

"I can't swim."

"Huh…Well then…"

"And you already know the other." I gave her my blankest stare. "…You're really gonna make me say it? Fine…I can't get a boyfriend."

"I wouldn't mind helping with that first one. It's still summer, after all." I took a bite of bacon as things went quiet

"…And he second…?"

"I don't feel comfortable answering that question truthfully after this morning. Honestly, it would be up to you more than it would me. I mean, it hasn't even been twenty-four hours since we've met."

"I just kind of threw that on you, didn't I? My bad."

"Meh. It's not a big deal. I actually like lending people a hand when I can…Do you have a list?"

"A list?"

"A grocery list."

"Oh…Nah, too much effort just for food. I just grab what looks good."

"And how much do you end up spending?"

"…A lot…"

"Looks like we can add money management to the list of things you can't do. Let's make us a list then. Once we're done, of course."

"Fine, fine. If it can save me some credits, I guess it won't be too bad." All things considered, breakfast was very nice. "You ready to get started?"

"I already started…There's no fruits and veggies in here." I observed, staring into the fridge. "The freezer has more ice cream in it than meat and stuff. I'm not even willing to count how many are in here."

"Shut up!...I like my sweets…"

"There's a difference between liking sweets and…this…So, here's what we're going to do."

"No! We're not getting rid of them!"

"Let. Me. Finish. We're going to give some (most) of these to Neptune."

"Why?"

"Because when we do it, we'll leave, and her sugar high will not be our problem."

"That's not very nice."

"I am not nice. We'll also be replacing said ice cream with fruit. And before you say anything, there are plenty of sweet fruit."

"Name some."

"Apples and strawberries."

"…Please don't do this…"

"Fruit is cheaper and better for you."

"So?" All I had to do to prove my point was poke her stomach. "Don't poke my pudge." Her face returned to its reddened state, though not as badly as earlier.

"Eat less ice cream."

"…Fine…What else is going on the list?"

"Eggs, milk, bread, some meat for the freezer, maybe some marinades. You know, real food."

"You're going to kill me."

"You'll be fine. By the way, I was thinking about earlier. We should probably go to whoever you were taking me to get some training."

"Probably. We'll have to come home before we go shopping, though."

"I'll just bring a change of clothes. There should be some shorts in those bags." I quickly made my way to my room and rummaged through the bags again until I found a pair of black athletics shorts and a drawstring bag. I stuffed them in the bag, along with another shirt before slinging it over my shoulder. "Alright, where is my trainer-to-be?"

"On the outskirts of town. Let me get my shoes on and we can get going." Cynthia opened the closet and pulled out a pair of white heels.

"Isn't it a long walk to do in heels like that?"

"I've walked farther in higher." I couldn't help but shake my head and chuckle.

"Whatever you say…" The walk took well over half an hour, and our destination wasn't exactly in the best conditions. A window was cracked and the paint was peeling. "Um…Is this the right place?"

"I know it looks sketchy, but he taught me everything I know." She opened the door and the interior was much nicer and looked more like an office than somewhere you'd teach someone to fight. "Dante! Get down here!" A loud thud and a groan came from upstairs before a man ran down the stairs.

"What do you want, kid? I'm bus- Oh? You brought a date to visit little ol' me?" This man's, Dante's, hair was white and messy…Wait! Hold the phone! Oh shit, this is awesome!

"We're here because this guy here has at least a little bit of promise, and you owe me."

"Hey!"

"What? It's true. There's only so much a human can do compared to people like us."

"There, there, kid. She was like this the first time I walked in on her too."

"He didn't do it on purpose, you pervy old man!"

"So, what do you use?"

"A stick."

"A stick?"

"He uses a staff."

"I don't teach magic. Not exactly my area of expertise."

"Steven, just show him."

"About that…Where did it go?"

"A real greenhorn in the flesh. I guess we're running through the basics first." It took a while, but I eventually got used to the real life menu screens.

"So that's where her knife came from…"I said, pulling my weapon out of my inventory. Now that my walking stick was in my hands, my training began. And that was hell for someone that wasn't used to it. It also didn't help that I had managed to piss him off with all my questions about the forms he was trying to teach. He made those feelings known when he decided we were going to spar. My everything hurts.

"You learn quick. Let's call it a day." He said, handing me some water that I downed quickly.

"Hey, do you have a shower I can use? I smell something foul and we still have a shopping trip to do."

"Upstairs, second door on the right."

"Thanks." I tried to make it was quick as possible, but my muscles demanded soothing.

"I'm just saying I can't teach him anything past the basics." Looks like they're having an argument. I can't say I'm not intrigued.

"And why not?"

"Because his fighting ability would suffer if I taught him my style. It's too offensive. You've seen it, haven't you? He goes into a counter stance and targets the body's weak points. My throat still stings a bit from that last one."

"Are you sure your throat's not sore from something else?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha. By the way, tell your boyfriend to come down. I know he's listening."

"He's not my boyfriend."

"But I wouldn't object if offered the position." God dammit! Why do I open my stupid fucking mouth!?

"Smooth."

"First of all, shut it. Secondly, don't fuel his fire. We need to go, before I get a headache."

"See ya, kids. Come by when you have the time."

"Why did you say that!?" Cynthia asked as we walked to the store.

"It's easier to get someone to stop teasing you about something if you roll with it." Yeah, tell her that instead of the fact that you let some stupid shit slide out of your face hole for the second time today.

"Not with Dante."

"How was I supposed to know?" Our shopping trip took much longer than I wanted it to. A certain someone kept putting all kinds of things in the cart. Seeing as how she had a bare bones stock, we couldn't exactly have all the junk. That night we had some of the steaks we bought because they were fast and not frozen. With these steaks, we had some mashed potatoes and broccoli.

"Eat them." I commanded.

"No."

"'Tia, just eat the vegetables."

"But they taste bland."

"Then put some butter and salt on them."

"Are we really doing this?" She chuckled.

"I guess we are. I was raised under the idea that you don't get dessert until you clean your plate. If you keep eating sweets like you want to, you're going to have more than a cute amount of pudge."

"…You think it's cute…?"

"Just forget I said that. Please. Look, how about you finish that, and then we can have dessert with the movie you picked out."

"Fine." The movie we watched was a knock off of one of the Star Wars original trilogy. What was more entertaining, however, was Cynthia's stomach ache from eating an entire tub of ice cream. The next two days were primarily spent level and credit grinding. We did so much that there was no value in killing anything in Otori forest. The rest of the time, on my part, was attempting to make things less awkward between us. And it worked, to an extent. I wasn't saying things out loud anymore.

"Hey you guys!"

"Neptune?" Cynthia asked.

"The one and only!"

"It seems like you two have been working hard, unlike these two." Noire stated.

"Well, I don't exactly have a choice if I want to keep up with all of you." I responded. "We were just finishing up for the day, actually."

"Us too. Wanna come visit?" Plutie asked.

"Sure, I wouldn't mind."

"Their couch is comfier than ours." I said. The walk was entertaining to say the least. Our path was clear, and Neptune was regaling us with her tails of what happened over the last few days. We shared what we did as well. Omitting certain things, of course.

"She wouldn't stop talking, so I bopped her on the mouth!" Neptune said, sipping on some tea since we were all sitting in the Basilicom's living quarters.

"That…wasn't the best way to deal with that." Cynthia commented.

"You could've just called the police. At minimum, that's breaking and entering and trespassing. Both could land her jail time." I added.

"Really?"

"Plutia, aren't you the one who made that law?" Noire asked while looking at the clock on the wall. "Oh, looks like I better get going."

"Can I come with you this time?" The sleepy CPU asked.

"No need. If you were to come along. It'll just take me even longer. Just wait here."

"Awww…" Plutie pouted as her friend left.

"Hey, Noire always goes off on her own after we finish working, huh?" Neptune observed.

"She said at that diner that she wanted to be a CPU. Do you think she's out looking for a CPU Memory?" I asked, playing off my knowledge once more.

"Yup…That's where she goes." Oh, hey. Plutie confirmed it. Yay!

"Then let's go after her! I can't let her become a CPU before me!" The purple haired girl yelled before running off.

"W-wait for me!" Plutie gave chase, and we followed as well.

"What are you all doing here?" Noire asked us once we all caught up to her. The place she was looking in was a ruin that was falling apart at the seam.

"Neptune didn't want you becoming a CPU before her."

"Don't tell her that."

"Plutia wanted to help you, and I thought you could use an extra set of eyes." Cynthia replied, ignoring Neptune's interruption.

"Same, except this'll also help me out. New area means higher level enemies, and more experience."

"Okay, let's take our time, then. Even if I wanted to rush through, Plutia walks so slow and wanders off." Noire said, leading us deeper inside. When she said take our time, she meant it, because we ended up fighting whatever came our way for a good hour. "Why are you so tired?"

"I've gotten better, but I'm still behind you guys. Cut me some slack." I groaned standing up. As I was taking a drink from the flask I had filled with water, I noticed everyone had started to move on. Cynthia had went around a corner, following Neptune and Noire, and Plutie was nowhere to be seen. "I should find Plutie. Who knows what kind of trouble she could get into." By the time I managed to find her, she was in the middle of her conversation with Warechu.

"You know, if something happened to them, I might get angryyyy…Noire said not to, buuuut…"

"The psycho's talking to herself now…Ugh. My patience is at its limits! I don't smack broads around, but maybe I need to teach this idiot some discipline…!"

"It's okay to get mad at times like this, riiiight? I gotta get back to them…"

"Of course, Plutie. If the rat was willing to hit you, imagine what this friend of his could be doing." I said, entering the conversation.

"She ain't my friend."

"Really, Stevie? Okaaaay. I gotta get them outta trouble…!" The sleepy girl was then enveloped in light.

"Yipes! That's bright! Wh-What's the deal, chu?!"

"Hehehehehe…You're fucked, rat."

"I wouldn't put it so crudely, but he's right…" Shivers went up my spine, but not out of fear like the rat in front of me. No, this was anticipation for what was to come.

"Wh-Who are you? Wh-Where'd that airhead go!?"

"That 'airhead' is the CPU of Planeptune. What do you think just happened?"

"Oh no! No no no!" The rat tried to run away, but I pinned his heart shaped tail with my staff.

"Aw…You spoiled my surprise, Stevie."

"Sorry. I wanted to see him freak out myself."

"Well, if that's all, then I can forgive you." The girl turned sexy dominatrix said.

"A…A CPU wouldn't hurt someone like little ol' me, right?"

"A CPU?" She snarled. "Who gave you permission to label me as such? You will call me Her Ladyship, scum!" The sword turned into a savage whip, and oh boy did Plutie take him to pound town. When Warechu was thoroughly broken, she picked him up by the tail. "Well, shall we?"

"Let's. I have an idea, too." We made haste to our friends, and when we got there, this stripper like witch was thrusting her spear at them. "Hold this." I said, shoving my weapon into the CPUs free hand. I sprinted as fast as I could, right hand cocked back. Now, the pun you are about to read needs some explaining. Back in the days of yore, I, along with a few of my friends (who were stoners) got thinking. A guy getting hit in the crotch had many names. Dick shot, nut tap, and cup check are just a few. "But what about girls?" We asked. It hurt to get hit there too. And this is the masterpiece that I came up with.

"UPPERCUNT!" There shouldn't be any more explanation needed.

"Stevie?" The deadpanned voice of the sadist asked.

"Yes, Plutie?"

"Puns?"

"It worked"

"H-How dare you!" The witch yelled, doubled over, before she was sent flying.

"We're having a serious talk later." Cynthia told me after roughly grabbing my shoulder.

"Wh-Wh-Why did you transform, Plutia!? We've talked about this!"

"W-Wait! That's Plutie!? Squishy, adorable Plutie!?" Neptune nearly screamed.

"Stevie said I could, but is that really how you ought to greet me, Noire? I transformed just so I could save the three of you…Poor little Noire. You have such high hopes, but such little strength to crush anything in your way…"

"Ugh…You don't have to go that far…"

"Hey, Plutie? Don't you have something for our two friends here?" I asked.

"Hmhmhmmm…Did you think I'd just give them to them?"

"What is she talking about?" Cynthia asked.

"We got the CPU Memories that the rat had on him."

"Are you seriously ignoring me?"

"Didn't your parents ever teach you that it's rude to interrupt the grown-ups while they're talking?"

"Oh my~ Such a sharp tongue. Can you back it up?" Plutie asked me.

"Baby you know it."

"How are you not scared of Sadie?" Neptune asked.

"There's scarier. Like spiders."

"Well, what are you going to offer me for these?" Plutie asked the two.

"Well, the only thing I really have is my sexy bod. But that's off limits! But, if it's you, I guess it's fine…"

"Hahahahaha! What a wonderful offer!"

"Um…Maybe I shouldn't have said that. S-So, uh, Sadie…Actually…"

"You wouldn't dare go back on such a delectable agreement, would you?"

"U-Um, well, that is to say…Buh-Buh-Buh-Be gentle, okay…?"

"Ooh, my silk touch will be anything but painful. I'll look forward to closing this deal…But first, Noire…You heard Neppy's offer, so…Will you not give me something of even greater value to you…?"

"I'm so glad it's just the two of them."

"Don't think you're off the hook. I could have not let Stevie keep you from getting hit by that spear."

"Oh no…"

"Perhaps I'll just simply take all of your bodies…Hmhmhm…Oh, the fun we could have…" I really hope I'm not included in that, because that would be weird. "Here." The two gems flew out of her hands and landed into Neptune's and Noire's hands. They begain to glow in a soon to be familiar light. As it died down, it was obvious that they had successfully become CPUs. Both had thigh high boot things and body suits. The only significant difference between the two outfits was their color scheme. Noire's hair had turned white while Neptune's became longer and darker.

"Enough of this!" The witch roared, charging at the closest person to her, which was the same person who sent her flying earlier. I don't really understand how I was able to react so quickly, I've never had the best reaction time, but I shoved Cynthia out of the way. The large spear that was aimed for her head instead went into my shoulder, leaving an equally large hole.

"Fuck!"

"Steven/Stevie!"

"I'm…I'm fine…I've had worse…" The blood oozing out of the wound, however, begged to differ.

"Why would you do that?" Cynthia asked me with tears in her eyes, leaning my sorry ass against a wall.

"Well, as cliché as it sounds, it was the right thing to do. Can't have the person paying the rent get shafted. And, even though we haven't known each other very long, I've come to care about you. How exactly, I don't know…" We didn't really get to continue our moment because the temperature in the room dropped many degrees and Plutie's eyes were alive with the fire of murder. "Okay…Now I'm scared of her…"

"Stay here. We'll take care of this, then we'll get you some help." With three of them transformed, the fight was not as one sided as it sounded like it was. Arfoire managed to land a pretty nasty hit on Plutie, slashing right across her chest. Instead of blood, a piece of some kind of crystal flew out of the wound. And incredibly tiny thing, but it still managed to find its way into my shoulder. The pain somehow got more intense, and my vision swam.

" **Finally…"** A deep, rumbling voice said.

"What the hell?"

 **"Not quite, mortal. This is a realm where we gods may freely interact with you."**

"Why are you talking to ME, of all people?"

 **"It is truly simple. We gods cannot interact with the world you reside in. However, you are not of that world."**

"What do you want from me then?"

 **"To form a contract. I shall grant you a portion of my power, and in return, you shall be a vessel to my will."**

"And what exactly IS that will?" This is starting to get super sketchy.

 **"Nothing outlandish, I assure you. Simpley make sure that those who wrong others suffer."** The deity in question put a strong emphases on suffer. **"There are other benefits besides my strength, of course. But there is no entertainment in just telling you. There is one thing that I will tell you, if you accept. There are more of us out there, waiting for the chance to help this world. Seek out their temples, and they shall aid you as well."**

"So…How do I sign this contract? And who are you?" A purple crystal skull appeared before me.

 **"I am Orcus, god of the dead. Crush this in your hand, and the contract will be sealed."**

"What's going on? Outside, I mean."

 **"Nothing of notice. Time here is different than it is in the real world."**

"Okay…Let's…Let's do this…" I hesitantly took the human skull in my hand before squeezing. It took a lot less effort to break it than I thought. A burning sensation ran across the back of my hand, and I looked down to see a black Jolly Rogers.

 **"Now return, and aid your companions."** Color returned to my vision and I forced myself up from my seated position.

"Okay…Let's give this a shot." I closed my eyes and focused. "Orcus!" I could feel the god of the dead's power rushing through me. Just because it's only a portion, I've never felt so…incredible. There's no words for it. A shifting blackness crawled across my skin before dissipating like smoke. What was revealed was black armor with white detailing. I couldn't feel my glasses, but whatever was covering my face made it so I could still see what was far away. My oak wood staff had turned bone white and had a scythe blade made out of the same smoke stuff that gave me this armor. I couldn't help but notice that some of the plates of armor were shaped like coffins. "Oh, oh this is cool."

"What is it now?" It sounds like Arfoire is as tired of today's bullshit as I am.

"Steven?" Noire asked.

"In the flesh. Mind if I get in on this? I'm pretty sure I owe this bitch some payback."

"Of course." Neptune said. "I'm glad to see you with us again."

"The feeling is mutual, Neps." Deciding to see what this was all about, I rushed forward in a burst of speed I didn't think I was physically capable of and gave the weapon an experimental swing.

"GAH!" She screamed as the shadowy blade cut her like it was the real thing.

"Ah, such sweet music to my ears."

"Just what we needed. Two of them." Noire lamented, but I ignored her in favor of stomping on the witch's head. A lot.

"I've had my fun. Anyone want to finish this up?"

"It will be my pleasure~" Plutie offered, cracking her whip.

"Don't you dare think of leaving me out of this!" Noire said, and Neptune nodded her head while raising her sword.

"You will pay for what you have done." The CPUs then gave Arfoire one hell of a beat down.

"What was that about?" Cynthia asked as they three fought her.

"I…really don't know. It just kind of slipped out. Honestly, the fact that I meant it really scares me."

"Hahaha! An easy win!' Noire cheered after several more minutes of kicking the shit out of the witch. "Amazing…So this is the power of a CPU!"

"I'm far from top condition, but an enemy f her caliber is a nonissue."

"The climax, already? You were more of a lightweight than you led me to believe."

"You accursed quintuple-teaming fools…! Do you find it heroic to battle an enemy five against one?!"

"Heroic? No. Satisfying? I think you know the answer to that." I said, raising my weapon.

"It's about time I found someone who understands." Plutie commented.

"Grrr! I won't forget this!" She yelled, running off.

"Good! Maybe you'll learn something!" Cynthia shouted back.

"Hey guys…I'm feeling really sleepy now…" I groaned before I felt myself fall as things went blank.

 **There we go. A lot changed from my handwritten stuff, but that's because I done goofed on a bit. Well, the next chapter of something will come out sometime during my first week of staying in my dorm room. See ya then.**


	3. Doing Things!

Chapter 3: Doing Things!

 **Hey. I did a thing, and here it is. I really don't have much to say, except sorry for how long it has taken me to get chapters out. With how busy I have been getting because of my schedule, I can't write as much as I'd like to, let alone type. With apologies out of the way, on with the show!**

I opened my eyes to see a light pink ceiling. I was on my back on something soft, and something was holding my right arm to my mid torso.

"Where…Where am I…?"

"You are currently in Plutia's bed in Planeptune's Basilicom." A very quiet voice replied. Not expecting an answer, I couldn't help but flinch. "I am sorry for startling you, but I have been monitoring your health for the last week while you were unconscious. The doctor we had called expected you to be unconscious for at least two, so you surprised me just as much as I you."

"Who are you?"

"I am Histoire, the Oracle of Planeptune."

"Steven. Nice to meet you. I'd shake your hand, but A: I'm down a hand, and B: I can't see you."

"I am to your left." I turned to said side to see a small girl with translucent wings sitting on an average sized book. The book is floating and she is sitting on…something…that was floating above the book.

"You are very tiny."

"It is disheartening to know that that aspect of me is the first thing that you acknowledged. Now, please excuse me. I must let the others know that you are awake." Histoire floated(?) out the door. It didn't take long for a blur of red to dart into the room, and I felt a pair of arms around me. With said blur's landing, pain shot through my shoulder. "Cynthia!" Histoire's tiny voice yelled. "He is still healing!"

"Sorry! Sorry…" She said, getting off of me.

"It's alright. I've head worse." I made sure to put a gentle smile on my face to reassure her that I was fine.

"No, you most likely would not have, unless you have had a joint surgically replaced previously."

"Wait, what?"

"The doctor had to replace your shoulder. Something about 'Being beyond repair.'" Plutie said, though her voice was…

"How come you're still in HDD?"

"That's one of the things we had talked about while you were KO'd." Neptune answered, quietly literally bouncing into the room.

"Okay? Is anybody willing to, I don't know, explain?"

"When a CPU founds a nation, a Sharicite crystal is formed from the people's faith in them. This, for the most part, is public knowledge. What most do not know is that there is a second Sharicite crystal. It is found within a CPU and acts as their link to the main Sharicite crystal, allowing them to draw upon it." Histoire explained. "From the scans we did to make sure you were recovering, we found that a small piece of the one within Plutia had managed to makes its way into your heart through the major vein in your shoulder. It is small enough to not be a threat to your health, but it would be more dangerous to attempt to remove it than it would be to leave it."

"So, because this piece is in me, she's stuck like that?" I asked the tome.

"Yes. As I said, it would be detrimental to remove it. As long as her processor units are not equipped, there is no negative affects to her. In fact, she is enjoying being able to stay in this form." To prove a point, Plutie flashed a smile like she was on cloud nine.

"There are so many comfy looking outfits that I can wear now." Well, at least her priorities are the same.

"And since Neptune had shared a bunch of stories involving her sister…well…"

"Well what, 'Tia?"

"I've always wanted a sibling, even before I became a CPU." Plutie stated. I tried to sit up, but I was pushed back down by said CPU. "Histy said you shouldn't strain yourself."

"Can I at least sit up? Talking to you all like this is weird, and I've already seen something today that would probably send me to jail." Knowing this series, I'm sure you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I was gently manhandled into an upright position, and Neptune actually apologized for giving me a glimpse of what's under her skirt. "What else did I miss during my extra-long nap?"

"Noire left to found her own nation. Left as soon as you came out of surgery." Neptune reported.

"And we got to know quite a bit of our friend's past." Plutie added, turning to Cynthia.

"Don't you dare tell him!" She growled. I had to contain a chuckle, given the fact that she also literally growled.

"Cynthia is a clone." The redhead instantly relaxed. What Histoire was saying must not've been what she was talking about. "Specifically, a clone of a DGU. A DGU is a type of god from another universe and have a strong connection to CPUs."

"If she's a god in another universe, then why is she here?" I really need to start thinking before I say things.

"Because I'm evidence." Cynthia started. "I'm a clone of a DGU. If someone from my world found out that it's possible, they'd make an army."

"Huh…Um, what can a DGU even do?" I asked, curious about what the girl I had a crush on was capable of. And by that, I mean how bad she could beat my ass if I fucked up.

"Well, each of us has an ability that is unique to us."

"So, you're like the X-Men?"

"You can shut up at any time." She said. I couldn't help but hear the other's in the room ask each other what the X-Men are. "The other thing is that we can transform, sort of like CPUs."

"Wait, this is news to us. If you could transform, how come you didn't?" Neptune asked.

"I tried. I really did. But because of some things that happened when I was made, it's harder for me to actually do it."

"And what was that?" Plutie asked. Histoire looked like she wanted to say something, but she didn't. I'll have to ask about it later.

"Solar, the original me, had a bunch of Fenrir fur on her. So, when they did they spell, well, just look at me." To emphasize, she swished her tail.

"That's…That's a lot to take in…" I muttered.

"Then what about you? That was some crazy stuff." Neptune said.

"I'm not really sure. To summarize everything I know, I made a vague deal with a death god for various perks for my own use, including using some of his power. All I have to do in exchange is kick some ass. He said that I can get contracts from other gods if I find their temples, which are probably in the darkest, far out corners of the world. I want to find at least one more so I can get some real answers out of whatever god it is."

"Oh! Oh! I knew I forgot something!" Neptune cheered. "We almost forgot that Cynthia admitted to having a crush on Stevie!" As the words left her lips, she started laughing. The laughter quickly turned into the sounds of choking.

"I! Thought! We! Had! An! Agreement!" Each word was accentuated with a stern throttle.

"Plutie…Stevie…Help…"

"This is what happens when you break a promise." I didn't answer because my mind was still stuck on what Neptune said.

"Okay, but why?" I asked. I HAD to know.

"Why what?" Cynthia asked in turn.

"Why would YOU like ME?"

"You learn that a girl might like you and you question her like she's stupid?"

"Yeah! Yeah I would! Because I know me best, and I know that anyone who'd say that to me is probably just trying to play me." I wouldn't realize it until later on, but the other three had left the room to give us privacy. Before I had the chance to react, Cynthia's open hand made solid contact with my face before I was lifted up by the collar.

"Don't you fucking DARE think I'd do that to you!" She all but roared. After that, she let go and hugged me tightly. "I'd never do that to anyone, let alone you…"

"'Tia? Arm."

"Oh! Sorry…" There was a very awkward silence between us for many a minute. "Can…Can we talk about that, whatever it was."

"If I haven't made it clear, I…I don't exactly have to greatest self-esteem. That's what happens when you're bullied for a good amount of your adolescent and teen years. Mom kicked Dad out for being such a drunk, so she was the only one supporting the family. She worked in the Intensive Care Unit at a hospital at the time. That's a twelve hour shift, and with how tired she'd be, we didn't have the luxury of home cooked meals. Living off of fast food kind of puts on the weight, and kids are vicious little bastards. The bullying went so once that I ended up being hit by a car and breaking six bones at once."

"Wait, really?"

"Nine days after being hit by the car I broke both bones in my left arm, one in my right, both of my eye sockets, and my forehead."

"Wow…That's messed up."

"It's fine. It was seven or eight years ago, so it's not that big a deal anymore. All I have to deal with is phantom pain every once in a while and some memory issues."

"Steven." Her hug was much gentler this time. "We both have some problems, don't we?"

"Yeah, I guess we do."

"Why don't we work through our issues together?"

"Some way to ask a guy out, but…I can't complain."

"Now kiss!" So much for the moment we were having.

"Neppy? Why don't we go out for a bit? I think Noire would like a visit." I saw the small purple haired girl could be seen being dragged down the hall by the ear before turning back towards the girl that was still embracing me.

"She dead." I commented.

"She hella dead."

"So, what are we? A week isn't exactly long enough for a relationship. At least, not long enough for one that'll work long term."

"How about just dating? That way we can get to know each other better before we say if we're together."

"Yeah, I'm okay with that. Just, um, one condition."

"These kinds of things shouldn't have conditions."

"Please, just hear me out." Just spit it out, man. Just let her know how needy you really are. "I want us to share a bed, like we did that first night." I said, face burning.

"Oh, uh…sure. I don't mind."

"Um, excuse me?" Histoire interrupted. "I apologize for interrupting, but I would like to inform you both that I have ordered food for dinner. You must be hungry."

"I could eat a horse." I chuckled, letting go of the wolf girl. While we waited for whatever was ordered, the three of us just talked. Simple, meaningless talk. The two Planeptune CPUs came back just in time to take our large order from the delivery girl as the tiny fairy paid. Oddly enough, it was this world's equivalent of Chinese.

"Aw…" Plutie cooed. "My little brother's found someone…"

"Um, I'm pretty sure that I'd be the older of the two of us." I retorted. "I'm 21."

"I told you, Noire! Look, they're even holding hands."

"I shouldn't be this surprised." Noire said immediately after Neptune forced her through the door.

"I expected that you would invite her, so I ordered extra." We all helped unload the bags of food. The place was kind enough to gives us a 2-liter of soda. The very first thing I did, as selfish as it was, was grab a couple of fried wantons.

"Who said you could start eating? We didn't even give thanks yet." Noire stated.

"I have been unconscious for over a week. I'm too hungry to give a damn." I replied before putting one into my mouth.

"What do you want first?" Cynthia asked. I turned to face her and saw a mountain of food I front of her.

"Can you even eat all of that?" My answer was a pair of chop sticks holding some white rice being moved towards my mouth. "I can eat on my own."

"Aren't you right handed though?" Noire asked. Neptune was chowing down on anything in her sight and Plutie was doing the same, but in a more dignified manner.

"I can do this." I grabbed my own pair and went to get some food. I couldn't do it.

"Say 'Ah!'"

"Really?"

"Say it." God dammit Cynthia.

"*sigh*…Ah…" She made me say it every time I wanted something that wasn't a wanton. EVERY TIME. "Never again. I felt like an idiot."

"It was cute. So, are you two together? Every good story needs a romance between the side characters, after all."

"Hey, Histoire?" I asked, ignoring the purple themed girl.

"Yes, Steven?"

"Can I get your help with some research? I don't think the public has anything I might need to find the temples."

"I would be delighted to."

"I'll help as well. We've been finding all kinds of documents and artifacts as we chart the borders of my nation." Noire added.

"Cool. Let me know what you find."

"I will. I need to go." She said, looking down at her watch. "One of my charters isn't exactly…the brightest…"

"We should get home too. Plutie probably wants her bed back." I said, looking at 'Tia.

"It's been fine. Neppy makes a very comfy pillow." Sher responded, waving off my concerns.

"While you are gone, I shall begin my research. You must be back here by nine AM tomorrow. Doctor Ragland is coming to check up on you and will begin your physical therapy."

"Physical therapy…Right…That was so much fun the last time, too…Alright, 'Tia, let's go."

"Since when were you the boss?"

"Since the moment I realized how tired I am." We bid everyone goodbye and made our way back to the apartment.

"Chop, chop! Time for bed!" Cynthia cheered the moment we walked through the door.

"You really want to get in bed with me, don't you?" I know I shouldn't be teasing, but this is an opportunity I'm not gonna pass up. The crimson color of her face told me that it worked to perfection.

"C-Come on…" The two of us crawled into bed and I tried to sleep. Too bad it wasn't as restful as I would've liked. Someone likes to do a lot of squeezing in her sleep, and I couldn't sleep on my side like I wanted to. After a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast, we went back to the Basilicom.

"Good morning. My name is Doctor Bradley Ragland." A black man that had to be in his late forties said, introducing himself. "I'm going to start by performing a routine physical. Afterwards, we will start your therapy." After about half an hour of physical examinations, everything came up clear. My therapy was basically just moving my shoulder in different ways with weights in my hand. "You'll have to keep the arm in the sling for about a week, but you can take it out to lift light objects. We'll see about the sling staying during our session next week."

"Okay, I'll see you then." The doctor left after talking to Histoire about something.

"What are your guys' plans for today? I plan on nappin'!" Neptune asked.

"I want to head to the guild." I said.

"Why? You aren't in any condition to take and Quests, and if you tried, I'd have to punish you for doing something so stupid." Plutie stated.

"There's someone there I want to see."

"You mean that creepy guy in the robes?"

"Yes, Neptune. I wanna get kitted out. Outside whatever happened a week ago, I'm still pretty squishy. I could use some new gear."

"Hm…We could use some new stuff. My wooden sword is cool and all, but not all that great at bashing mobs." She agreed.

"I will prepare lunch for when you return." Histy's tiny voice said as she entered the room.

"Thanks, Histy." Plutie said. We quickly made our way to the Guild, and met the covered man.

"Hehehe…You're back. Whaddaya buyin'?"

"Show us what you got!" Neptune shouted. He opened up his coat, revealing quite the arsenal. Swords, guns, armor. You name it, this red-eyed man had it. I replaced my walking stick with an actual bo staff, and got some light armor that goes underneath my shirt. It was basically a leather tank top. Neptune now possessed a steel katana, Plutie said she'd make her weapon herself, and Cynthia's stuff had higher stats than anything the man had on him. I was really tempted to pick up a gun, but no one would let me.

"I'll let you know when I've updated my stock." The Merchant said as we paid him. "Make sure to come back.z'

"With your prices? Of course we will." Cynthia commented. Histoire had prepared sandwiches for us.

It's been three months since I woke up from my epic power nap. It took two weeks before Ragland cleared me to be fine without that damn sling. Research into the temples has been less than successful. Any lead we got was a dead end. We did earn a good amount of experience and money during the failed expeditions, though. I learned a few things about my own abilities, too. The main thing I learned was that I was constantly on a timer. The moment I activated my "transformation", I had a total of fifteen minutes of use before I was done. The worst part was that I was out until twenty-four hours passed since I first activated it. So, imagine my surprise when I'm having a spar with my sister and the protection I so desperately needed disappeared mid getting my ass handed to me on a silver platter. With the summary of the time skip over, let's move on to today.

"Come on! We're going to be late for our reservation!" Cynthia called out from the living room.

"We have more than enough time! Just let me finish up with this damn noose!" I yelled back. Stupid fucking ties. I managed to make the thing look presentable before exiting the room. Cynthia was wearing a black silk dress that reached down to her ankles and hugged her body tightly. Her crimson locks flowed down her back, and she was wearing a silver necklace that we had found during one of our trips.

"Here, let me fix that." She fixed my tie with an expertise that I didn't expect. "Why are we going somewhere so fancy, anyway?"

"You've done so much for me over the last few months. I just thought I could start to return the favor."

"You really need to stop thinking like you owe me anything."

"Old habits die hard. Why are you complaining, anyway? I'm taking you out on our fanciest date yet." We pulled our respective shoes for the evening before she opened the door. "Shall we?" I asked, sticking my left elbow out.

"Of course." She answered, taking a hold of the offered limb. The place I took her was probably the nicest in all of Planeptune. That meant that my wallet will cry and I'll die a little inside when I look at the bill. The quality of the food and the service was impeccable, and don't get me started about the wine. "This is incredible."

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?"

"I wonder how much money went into making it look so beautiful."

"Probably a lot, but there's something that's even more beautiful here."

"And what's that?" Alright, Steven, time to make your move.

"You, of course." The coloring of her face meant mission: success. She tried to hide it by turning away.

"I really thought I'd be used to these comments of yours. They have a lot of start-up frames."

"Hey, you still catch me off guard too. But seriously, how could you expect me to not compliment the girl I've fallen in love with?" I…just said that out loud. I really thought I fixed that.

"I love you too…Hey, remember that time we went to that fair?"

"That one where we almost kissed on that Ferris wheel after we kept that guy from killing himself?"

"That's the one. Wanna pick up where we left off?"

"Do you even need to ask?" We leaned over towards each other and our lips met. She dominated the kiss, and I couldn't help but marvel at how gentle she was even with how rough she was being. "How do you…?"

"When a drunken, alternate version of you who likes girls decides to suck face with you, you pick up a few things."

"Well that's a story for when everyone is around."

"No. No it's not. Trust me. Things happened that Neptune doesn't need to know about."

"Hands up! Fork over all your credits!"

"Are…Are we not allowed to have nice things, 'Tia?"

"*sigh* Looks like it."

"Hey!" I called out, getting the robber's attention. Man, this guy had to be a joke. He had the black ski mask and everything.

"What is it!?"

"Honest question. Out of all the places to rob, why a restaurant? Banks exist." What? Don't judge me. I was genuinely curious about the life choice he made.

"Shut the hell up and fork your money over!"

"How about you shut up? You're ruining my date." Sometimes I forget how fast Cynthia can get around when she's using her DGU power. She had stopped time so that she could get behind him and put her knife to his throat. The police came shortly after, and we ended up not having to pay for our dinner. Yay!

"So much for a nice night." I lamented.

"I enjoyed it, though, if it's any consolation. We became a real couple."

"Hehehe…That's true. Neptune's not gonna let us hear the end of it, though."

"Let her talk. She's just jealous." As we walked home, I noticed that Cynthia was having a hard time walking.

"You ran in those again, huh? I thought you learned your lesson about running in heels."

"I wasn't going to let anyone get hurt because I wasn't willing to make things uncomfortable for myself." I scooped my girlfriend up in my arms, earning an adorable squeal in the process.

"Alright, Miss Hero. Let's go home."

"Can we get ice cream first? We never got to get desert."

"Sure. The usual place?"

"Yup." She answered, popping the "P". I stuck to a milkshake while Cynthia nommed on her large hot fudge sundae. "Mmm!"

"Yeah, yeah we get it. You like ice cream."

"You're so mean…"

"And you're getting harder to carry."

"Shut up! We just starting off as a couple. Do you really went to break up already?"

"Hah! I knew it! Fork over the cash kid!" The owner of the ice cream stand owner yelled to the girl that was helping them out. Looks like they were betting on us.

"You already know the answer to that." I said, giving her a light kiss before she could take another bite. I licked the chocolate off my lips before continuing. "See?"

"Mhm…"

"Come on, let's go home. It's getting late, and Histoire thinks she has another lead."

"But my sundae…"

"We can stick it in the fridge for later."

"Somedays I wonder if you aren't my dad."

"If you call me Daddy, I'm going to be upset."

It turns out that that lead she found was a bust, just like the others. Things got interesting when Plutie came knocking on our door the one morning. She was dressed in a black t-shirt dress with the socks she wore when she was still small and black ankle boots.

"Hey, Plutie." I said, opening the door.

"Hi."

"Wanna come in? We just finished cooking breakfast."

"If that's okay with you." The CPU sat down as we served up the meal. Today was pancakes and bacon.

"Hello, Plutia, how are you?"

"Good. I actually came over to see if I could have Stevie for the day."

"Oh? What for?" 'Tia asked.

"Well, we're siblings, but we don't really spend much time together."

"I don't have anything planned today, so we can hang out. I don't know how you got that paperwork done when I was out. I couldn't exactly sign my name."

"Stevie, I make the laws. If I want something my way, it will go as I say." Okay! Sadist Plutie is comin' out to play!

"Why don't we eat, before the food gets cold?" Cynthia suggested. Plutie devoured her plate with gusto. It looked like she wasn't even breathing.

"Who made these?" She asked.

"It was my turn to cook." I said. "We alternate every day so that one person isn't doing the dishes every day."

"These are so good. Better than what Neppy's made." She chuckled. "Oh, today's gonna be so much fun! We're gonna go shopping, and have lunch, and…" She rambled off so many things, we couldn't even get it done it a week. It was weird, seeing her being neither lethargic nor sadistic.

"Plutie, hold on a sec. There's only so much we could do in a day. Why don't we stop at shopping, lunch, and going to the park?" I suggested. "We can save some of the other stuff for later.

"Have fun, you two." Cynthia said as we got ready to go.

"Oh, we will." Plutie said in that tone she uses when she equips her processors. The first place she dragged me to was a mall. It was a very hole-in-the-wall type of place. "We have to go here because of how many people we'd have to deal with. I like my citizens, but I can't handle too many at once. If I hear too many complaints at once, I might…"

"Yeah, going Sadie on them would not be very good." I couldn't help but see how far her shoulders fell. It was clear that her being like this permanently isn't all sunshine and rainbows anymore. "It's happened already, hasn't it?" Tears began to well up in her eyes.

"I tried…I tried to tell them, to warn them, but they wouldn't listen…" The water fell as she broke down. I guided her to a bench that was out of the way as far as I could tell. "I hurt them, and nothing I can do can make up for it…I don't want my people to hate me…" I gave the girl that called me her brother a hug.

"Shh…It's okay…There are gonna be people that won't put their faith in you anymore, sure, but it's not the end of the world. There are still plenty of people that believe in you. Hell, if the papers are right, you've done more for Planeptune now than you did when you were still, well, you." She was quiet and I was really hoping that I had said the right thing.

"Thank you, Stevie…" My hug was returned as her sobbing decreased in intensity.

"No problem. So, where to first?" I asked once she completely stopped.

"If you don't mind, there's a craft store I'd like to go to."

"Sure, let's go." The shop was pretty far into the mall and was nothing but color.

"Welcome back, Lady Iris Heart." The clerk at the counter greeted.

"Hello, Mina. Is my order in?"

"Yes it is. It'll take a bit to get everything, so take a look around with your boyfriend."

"I'm her brother." I deadpanned.

"Oh, I'm sorry! Please forgive me!" Plutie reached over the counter to place a hand on the bowing girl's head.

"It was an honest mistake, don't worry about it. I do have to say that I am a bit jealous of his girlfriend."

"It's nice to see that CPUs have guy troubles too." Plutie and I wandered down the various isles as Mina went to get whatever Plutie had gotten.

"Do you have any crafts you like to do? I sew, so I can't say I'm not curious."

"Um, for a little while I used to do cross stitch. I sew when I need to fix something, but I normally stick to crafts that are less artistic, like wood working." I didn't get the chance to say anything else as I was dragged around by the hand. There was various cross stitching kits on the different shelves.

"Hm…Which one should I have you do?" After a few more minutes of looking, she plucked one off the rack. "This one is cute." The picture of what is was supposed to be was round plastic from with the words "I" and "YOU" stitched into it. In between them was a solid red heart.

"That's simple enough for me to get back into it, and I could give it to 'Tia when it's done."

"And you can come over and we can sew together!"

"Yeah, I guess we can." I got a second one, which was of a frog, before we cashed out. Whatever Plutie had gotten occupied four bags. "Where to next?"

"Where do you want to go? There's a game shop, a video store, a book store, and a few different places. From what I could see, you could use some decorations of your own." I still had my own room in the apartment. It was for when one of us wanted some privacy or if we got mad at each other. I walked out of that mall with a few of this world's equivalent of old 80s anime, a game console to set up in the living room, a poster, and some stuff to make it more…homey. There was a diner nearby, and damn was it good. We managed to spend over two hours in the restaurant just talking about what's been happening. The park we went to was significantly closer to the Basilicom. There were all kinds of people walking by. They'd always say hello to Plutie as they passed us by. It made her day when I pointed out that none of them looked even remotely scared. As we walked we eventually came across a kid being shoved down and kicked by several other kids. Slightly worried, I turned towards Plutie, whose eye was twitching.

"I'm pretty sure this is within your authority as a CPU." Please tell me she takes the hint,

"Oh, I know." Her clothes disappeared in a flash of light, replaced by her processor units. The sword she normally used was replaced by a whip, which she cracked with a savage grin. "Don't you know that you can be punished for bullying someone? I certainly don't care for when someone does." The offending kids bolted as soon as they saw who they upset. Even the bullied kid was trying to escape. "Please, wait. Are you okay?" The light signaling her outfit change happen once more as she got down on a knee.

"Y-Yes, I'm okay Lady Iris Heart…" The scrapes and cuts said otherwise. Those were easily taken care of by the CPUs healing spell. "Thank you."

"Go back to your parents, they must be getting worried about you." Plutie said, helping him up.

"Of course! Bye Lady Iris Heart!"

"See. You can still do your thing without hurting anyone."

"It feels good, having someone see that side of me and not stay scared." We enjoyed the rest of our walk before it was late enough that I had to get home to cook dinner. I invited her to eat with us, but she said that Noire was coming over to visit. I recounted the tales of today and got jokingly laughed at for the revitalization of my old hobby. All in all, it was an interesting day.

 **Yay! Done! Though, this chapter took a turn I didn't expect it to once I hit the 4k mark when typing this up. This last bit I made up on the spot because I didn't want to make this chapter to build up to something that would not connect well with the rest of the chapter. So, here's some character building, because of how I want to portray some characters, I'll really need to. Well, until next time guys, see ya!**


	4. Spelunking and a Time Skip

Chapter 4: Spelunking and a Time Skip

 **Hey, so I got around to doing a thing. There's really not much to say except expect a collab. chapter or two in the future. On with the show!**

Another few months passed before we found an actually solid lead. Noire gave us a call one day, and when Histoire was able to confirm the contents of her documents, the two of us headed out.

"Why are you wearing all of that? Hat's aren't exactly your thing, and it can't be very cool with how hot it is."

"Let me have my homage to one of the greatest adventurer's in movie history." The hat in questions was a tall-crowned, wide-brimmed fedora. To simplify things, I found enough stuff to recreate Indiana Jones' outfit. It was not cool by any means, but damn does it make me happy. I even learned how to one hand a revolver. That process, however, lead to many trips to Doctor Ragland to fix a broken wrist. "Also, it's cooler than you'd think. The hat gives me plenty of shade."

"Do you know how much farther we have to go?" In response to my girlfriend's question, I retrieved the map that Noire had found from my satchel.

"If the map is to be believed, about half a mile west by north-west." The walk was grueling, seeing as how we had to navigate a dense jungle, but once we got there we were not disappointed. "Orcus wasn't kidding when he said these things would be ancient." The stonework making up the structure was cracked and covered with vines and moss. Surprisingly, the intricate carvings could still be made out.

"Look at this." Cynthia said, pointing her camera at a wall near the entrance. Carved into it was a large moon. On a different section was a boar, and above the door was a bow with a notched arrow. "What good do you think this is?"

"There's quite a few gods and goddesses that are tied to all three of these symbols. We probably won't find out until I actually make the contract. Have you taken pictures yet with that block of plastic?"

"Yeah, though most of them are of the flowers that are around. I haven't seen any like them before. There was this one with black berries that was really pretty."

"Please tell me that you didn't eat any of them. If those are what I think they are…well…"

"I didn't eat any, I promise."

"Is…Is that why I feel so sick?" A voice deeper than mine asked. The guy stumbled out of the woods wearing what seemed like an armored cloak that was black with gold trim. A white long sleeved shirt was worn underneath it and matching armor, and beige pants with black leather armor sown into it. To complete his ensemble, he had on brown boots that reached up to the middle of his shins. Now I'm really glad I had studied that book of poisonous plants.

"Probably. Those berries are from a variant species called the belladonna. It's more commonly known as Deadly Nightshade." The man that was slightly shorter than me pulled out a strange looking staff before he was enveloped in a light green light.

"There, that's better." He dusted himself off before returning his focus to us. "What are you doing here? Adventurers are not allowed in any of Lowee's sacred ruins."

"Um…This is Lastation territory though." I commented, before handing him the map and one of the current terrain. "See?" He stared at it for several minutes before seemingly coming to a realization.

"I have wondered much farther from home than I had thought. My apologies. My name is Souji."

"I'm Cynthia, and this is Steven. We're investigating the gods people believed in before the existence of CPUs."

"I see. May I accompany you then? Studying history is a hobby of mine." Souji explained.

"Sure." I said. "Though, we're not just explonig. There's something we're looking for, as well as the various artefacts that are in there. Museums and collectors' will pay top dollar for this stuff."

"That makes sense. Expeditions such as these are not exactly cheap. I am only able to travel as I do because I am funded by Lowee's government."

"Let's get going then. We're burning daylight." Cynthia commanded before entering the dark corridor ahead.

"We better follow her. She's our light source, and she's not just gonna sit around and wait." I commented before giving chase. The fire in my girlfriend's hand lit the dust covered hallways as we ventured on. She was also lighting said dust on fire was we walked. As we checked the various rooms, there wasn't really any treasure. Hell, most of the rooms were completely empty except for a few pieces of jewelry and some stone arrowheads. "Hey, look over there." I said, pointing to the only room that has light in it already. Souji pulled a book out of the folds of his cape-thing. I couldn't help but peer over his shoulder, noting the ridiculous looking symbols contained within it. With our weapons drawn, we slinked into the room only to see something on a pedestal in the middle of the room.

"One of those water drinking birds? Really?" Souji deadpanned. I took a closer look and saw that the plastic toy was wearing a top hat. The foot/platform thing said "SNK CEO" and I couldn't help but laugh. "What's so funny?"

"This is something from back home. I don't know if I'll be able to sell this one."

"Then keep it. We have shelves at home for things like this." Cynthia replied. I pocketed the reference and we moved on. The deeper we went, the more things we found. It was almost like we weren't the first ones to come here, just the first to get this far. And then I learned why. Monsters started to literally come out of the walls, either via ooze or by smashing through them. The first one we came across was swiftly dealt with by some darkness that came flying out of the once again open book. There were a lot of things that reminded me of my childhood in the different rooms. There was a metal backpack that looked like a robot, a stone statue of some kind of animal wearing jeans, and a red crystal in the shape of intertwined lightning bolts. In addition to those, we found even more jewelry and some pieces of gold.

The deepest part of the ruins was a large amphitheater. Unlike the rest of the building, there were no vines or cracked stone. There was, however, many a skeleton laying on the floor.

"Well, I guess we know what happened to whoever made it in this deep." Cynthia commented as she snapped a few pictures. I knelt down, investigating one of the fresher bodies. In the many wounds was an amber colored fluid that was incredibly sticky. In the semi-torn satchel was filled with tons of pieces of gold and gems.

"This is strange." Souji commented. "Besides the bodies, this room is too pristine compared to the rest of the rooms we've been in. And there aren't any monsters coming at us yet, either." I moved on to the center of the room, where there was an empty pedestal. Mounted to the pedestal is a tablet with inscriptions carved into it.

"'If you seeketh my power, prove your ability to overcome challenges well beyond your ability.'" I read out loud. The pedestal then sank into the floor. "Well that's not ominous or anything." The ground shook as the circular stage opened up. From the hole leapt a massive…thing…Its body was a combination of trees and stone, and looked as if it had just gone through a tornado. Vines sprawled across the body of the nature beast and the amber fluid that I saw on the corpse dripped from its gaping maw. A green light, almost the same shade as Souji's healing magic, glowed from deep within it as well as in the holes that were supposed to be its eyes. "Um…This is going to be an issue…I'm pretty sure this gave these other guys a sudden case of dead."

"I've got this." Cynthia said, using some fire magic to try and toast it. Let's just say that all THAT did was piss it off. The beast barreled through the jet of flames and we had to run away from it. "So much for that!"

"Allow me to try!" Souji called out, darkness pouring out of the tome. Looking at the health bar, the spell worked, but it didn't seem to bother it in the slightest.

"Orcus!" I shouted, calling upon my contract with the Roman god of death and the underworld. With my weapon now transformed into a scythe, I lunged at it, taking a swipe at its leg. The vegetation around the cut withered away, only for it to regenerate. Its health didn't increase, but I might as well have gave it a boop on the nose. Angered by the damage, it knocked me into a wall. "What the hell is this thing!?"

"Cederus from the name. Nothing else from there." Souji informed us.

"Then let's not give it time to breath.' Cynthia said, her large knife coated in flames.

"I'm cool with that." I said, using my staff to pick myself up. I couldn't help but feel a bit concerned about the tiny cracks in my armor. The three of us attacked at the same, ignoring the world's turn based fighting mechanics. In about five minutes we were able to get it below its fifty percent point, but not without some problems. Turns out that it's a Dark Souls boss. The glow turned red and it attacked even more aggressively. We also got to find out how good of a combat medic Souji could be. In one hit it was able to wipe out what was left of my armor's durability, and I slammed against a wall for the fifth time that fight. Things got a bit hazy, but that was probably because of the blood I could feel running own the back of my neck. That didn't last long because of the immense heatwave that smacked me in the face. Cynthia had become a literal blaze of glory. Her red hair and tail had turned silver, and her eyes a shade of red similar to the original color of her hair. From her collarbone down, her body was covered in a black skintight suit made of some unknown material. Over her lower arms and legs were a set of gauntlets and grieves that matched the red and gold theme of her regular combat gear. Over her chest was a crop-top style chest piece that looked like the face of some kind of bird of prey. Behind her was two large wings made purely of fire.

"Holy fuck…" I mutter.

"So this is her full power." Souji stated.

"I don't even know if that's true. Honestly, starting to feel a little under-classed. And I really can't believe she's my girlfriend." Before our conversation could continue, the beast charged her. She took the hit head on, but instead of being sent flying, she only moved a few feet back.

"Are you two just gonna sit there, or are you going to help me!?"

"We should help her." I said quickly. "I've seen what she can do with a knife when she's angry."

"Let's." I took aim with my revolver, a Colt .44, and fired several shots from where I was, moving up closer. Souji, lacking any physical offensive abilities, stuck to hurling bolts of dark magic at it. Cynthia's knife, which had now turned into a large machete in the shape of a feather, was doing the most damage. The wounds left by the weapon left burned gashes. I don't really remember when, but my staff got snapped in half.

"Rah!" I yelled, jamming the two halves of my broken weapon into its eyes. It let out one last roar before crumbling to the ground, dead. The stone in the room shifted once again, but instead of the tablet there was a green crystal in the shape of a boar.

"I wish…my staff did more…than just heal wounds…"

"I could…really use a nap…" Cynthia said as she collapsed, transformation releasing in the process. I had just enough energy to catch her before we both crumpled to the ground.

"Let's rest up for a bit before we look around some more." Not waiting for a response, I closed my eyes. I opened them again when I felt someone shaking my shoulder.

"Wake up. We've been asleep for hours." Souji stated. Looking around, I saw that the natural light in the room was gone, replaced by some glow-in-the-dark substance. Cynthia had shifted while we slept to her default position, and that made getting up even harder.

"'Tia, wake up."

"Too tired…need sleep…"

"We can sleep when we get home, okay? We can even put on a movie."

"Okay…" The tired girl got up and I grabbed what we came here for.

"That crystal would get us a lot of credits." Souji commented.

"Sorry, but this is what we came all this way for. We can't just give it up or sell it." The man tried to argue, but I crushed it in my hand and my world went black.

" _It is good to see that you and your friends have survived my trial. I am Artemis, and I grant you a portion of my power."_

"Um, would you mind answering a few questions about all of…this…?" I questioned, waving my arms around.

" _Did Orcus not explain? *Sigh* I told them that he shouldn't have been the first of us you encountered…So, what do you?"_

"I have fifteen minutes a day and I'm up shit creak without a paddle if it breaks." I couldn't see the goddess, but her facepalm was very, very audible.

" _Well, that's not wrong. You can use each contract for a total of fifteen minutes every twenty-four hours. Now, for you "armor" as you call it. It is known as the God-Contract Gear, or GCG for short. As well as the changes it makes to your weapon, it is the manifestation of our power and existence in the world you're in. That being said, if it is broken, you cannot call upon any of us for eight hours."_

"Any of you? Shit, that's worse than I thought."

" _Yes. Think of it as an incentive to not be so reckless. You can use a portion of a god's power. You, however, are no god."_

"Yeah, I know. Orcus also said something about benefits?"

" _Out contracts do indeed come with…perks…For example, Orcus, being a god of death, has made you exempt from death by aging. I shall offer you the eyes of a master hunter. They shall slow your perception of time, hitting your target no matter how small the window."_

"Kind of like the ARS in Vanquish, right?"

" _Yes. The flow of time shall remain the same."_

"Cool. So, how does this end? I'm not exactly in the same situation as I was the first time."

" _Just blink."_ I did, and everything returned to normal. I looked down at my left arm to see that a new black mark had appeared. This one was a moon with an arrow through it.

"What was that about? You're eyes turned blank and you started talking to yourself." Souji asked.

"He did that the first time, too, but I didn't pay much attention to it at the time." Cynthia commented. "We were in a big fight."

"I was talking with Artemis, a goddess of hunting from back home. Not that that's done, let's go home. Souji, you're welcome to come with us."

"I must decline. Lady White Heart is expecting a report from me." Perhaps some other time." Cynthia pulled out her phone at his response, opening up her contact list.

"Let me get your number so we can let you know when and where."

"I…do not have a phone…"

"What about a house phone?" I asked him.

"It seems like I will have to write a request for a phone of some kind…"

'Holy shit, does he get all of his info from a pigeon!?'

"Here." Cynthia said, scribbling on some paper before handing it to him. "These are our numbers. Give us a call when you can."

"I will. Goodbye." The three of us tiredly trudged our way home, him heading north while we went west.

Eventually, three years had passed since Neptune and I had gotten to the Ultradimension. In that time, a few things had happened. We found two more temples. One of them was Anansi, the African god that used cunning and trickery to obtain all of the world's stories. The spider-like god allows me to learn something's story if I spend enough time in contact with it. He said that I could do the same for people, but I'd have to be using his GCG. Then there was the other one. There were no trials. Hell, there was barely any exploration. Just Mark Pellegrino laying across a red leather couch. That's right, bitches. I signed a contract with the devil himself. Hellfire is fun, and that's all I have to say about that, except for the fact that I can't actually use his GCG. Something about the fact that he was in the cage in hell and he wasn't actually a god, though he did say he was talking to someone about it. When I asked him why HE would do something like this, the response was "I was bored". After that bit of exploration, Souji actually followed us back to Planeptune. That lead to the best first encounter with Neptune that I'd ever seen.

*Flashback*

"This is Planeptune's Basilicom? The pictures do not make it seem nearly as tall as it is." Souji commented.

"Just be glad there's an elevator. There was a day Plutie decided that the two of us were going out the day it was broken. So many stairs…" I said to him.

"I thought you were dating Cynthia?" He questioned, confusion all over his face.

"He is. Because of an odd technicality and some paperwork that she did while he was unconscious, he is her brother." Cynthia explained.

"Is that…legal?"

"Who are we to question a CPU?" The wolf girl countered as we entered the elevator. The solid light platform still out me on edge, seeing as how you could see the black abyss as we rose up. Once the door opened, we were greeted by everyone's favorite tome fairy.

"Greetings! You must be Souji. I am Histoire, Oracle of Planeptune."

"How is she speaking in emoticons?" He asked, turning to us.

"Am I seriously the only one who can't hear or see or whatever the fuck these emoticons are!?" I shouted.

"Well hey, guys! Wait…Who's the stud?" Neptune asked.

"M-Me?" Souji stuttered out, turning quite the interesting shade of red as his serious persona shattered.

"Yes, you." Oh no. Neptune, please. "Mm…Momma likes…" She practically purred, running a finger down his chest.

"I, um, bu-, wah-?" He was clearly broken, fumbling his words.

"Hahaha! Oh, that was a great! The look on your face was priceless!" Neptune cried between bouts of laughter.

"Of course she'd prank someone like this." Cynthia muttered.

"A prank?" Souji asked, more to himself than anyone else. "I see…Neptune, CPU of Planeptune, this means war."

"Challenge accepted."

*Flashback End*

We never would've thought that the two of them would be dating by the end of that month. It involved a lot of pies, some very slow "clean-up", and a very angry Plutie. I didn't blame her, seeing as how the two got pie all over the dolls of us she made. She came over for a few days to calm down after her wrath was dealt out. It was also not the last time she stayed over for a while. Hell, the room that was originally mine became hers for when she needed it. Last night was one of those times. This morning was the one that I found out that my sister is lonelier than she lets on. Let me put it to you this way. Spooning my girlfriend is fine, but spooning my girlfriend while being cuddled by your naked sister is not. Maybe I should stop sleeping without a shirt on, then I wouldn't know about that fact. It took the better half of a half an hour to worm my way out of the two's grasps. I couldn't help but chuckle and take a picture as they latched onto each other.

"I need a shower."

*One cold shower and a contemplation about my life choices later*

I went down the stairs of the house the two of us had gotten a mortgage on and started to make breakfast for the three of us. An American classic of pancakes and bacon.

"Hey, Steven?" I turned to see that my girlfriend has awoken. Oddly enough, she was still in her pajamas. Normally she takes a shower, changes, then comes down, yet here she was in a short black silk nightgown with matching thigh-highs.

"What's up, 'Tia? You never come down in your PJs."

"Plutia is in the shower. Speaking of her, how come I woke up cuddling her?"

"I needed out of there. Incest is not wincest. Also, someone needed to make breakfast."

"Good morning…" Plutie greeted sleepily, hair still damp. We returned the greeting and I continued to make food.

"So, I have plans for today. Does anyone else?" I asked.

"Noire invited me over once she heard that all I can really do is bake. Something about teaching me how to cook." Cynthia stated. "What do you have planned?"

"Well, I found a tackle shop, and realized that after all of these years I haven't gone fishing once."

"Fishing?" Cynthia asked.

"Yup. Even got some hard cider for while I do it. I would've gotten beer, but then I remembered that beer tastes like shit." I paused, putting a hand to my chin as an idea came to mind. "Hey, Plutie, are you doing anything today?"

"Histy wanted me to do work, but I don't exactly want to go home yet." She replied.

"Want to come with me then? I think I grabbed a spar rod."

"Of course. We don't really get to be together much, do we?"

"Nope, and that's why I asked." With that decided, I grabbed everything we'd need and headed out. I did have to make Plutie go back to the Basilicom to get something more fitting. A dress blouse and stockings with flats is not appropriate for this, after all. After she changed into jeans, a t-shirt, boots and a light jacket, we headed to a lake Cynthia and I had found on one of our earlier excursions. It took a while to teach her how to set up her pole and even longer to get her to be patient, but eventually we did just get to sit there and talk. And talk we did. Especially when she had a few in her. Someone doesn't handle her alcohol well.

"All I'm saying is that…*hick*…that she doesn't get how I feel when *hick* they're all over each other. Can't she see *hick* that it hurts me…?"

"Sometimes people don't see the things that are right in front of the time." I did have to take a second before continuing. "How come Cynthia and I don't bother you?"

"Why…Why would I feel jealous of *hick* my brother? When are you going to ask her?"

"I don't know. The original plan for today was to come out here and think about it, but spending time with family is important." There was a tug on her line, and it was obvious that it wasn't anything like the little ones we'd caught so far. "Plutie, you have a bite." Her eyes widened as she dove for the line. As she reeled it in, the pole bent more and more. It took both of us to finally get the damn thing out of the water. It was as long as my arm! "Hot damn! I don't think we have a bucket big enough for this one!"

"We could just through it back." It seems like the adrenaline sobered her up.

"Sure, let's do it." Tossing the large fish back after taking a picture with it, we went back to Planeptune, stopping at a restaurant because I forgot to pack lunch. "So, do you want to check in or just head back to my place?"

"I'll go home with you. I…don't want to see Neppy right now."

"She's you're friend. I'm sure she'd understand if you just explained it to her."

"I know, but…after seeing how she teases Noire, I don't want that to happen to me, too…"

"Alright, I understand. Can you get one of the buckets? My hands are full." I had made a deal with a street vendor yesterday because I don't particularly care for fish. Also, having pocket change is nice. The two of us split the money and flopped down on the couch, putting on a tape. You have no idea how weird it is going back to tapes after so long. I think the last thing I had watched on tape was either the gen one Transformers movie or Gundam Wing Endless Waltz. It was just the two of us because I think Noire plans on keeping Cynthia all day. Poor Noire. She's gonna have to call the fire department once she tries anything complicated. There's a reason that apartment from years ago kicked us out and we had to take out a mortgage on this two story. I had to try really hard not to laugh at Noire's angry phone call. Plutie, at the time, did not have such restraint and promised to punish her when she got home. That night I think was the first night I spent alone in years, and there was no sleep to be had. The screams and sounds of pleasure kept me up.

A few more days passed, and a repeat of the morning conversation happened.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" I asked, biting into a slice of banana bread.

"Histoire asked us to come over for something. She never said why."

"Alright. Let's go see what's up." Once we got to the CPUs' living quarters, we were greeted by Histy mid-rant.

"Lastation!" The tiny voice shouted.

"Oh, yep, that's the ticket. Noire's such a workaholic, huh? She can't make any friends 'cuz she loves working too much." Okay, it's time to sass the Nep.

"Well, she probably makes more friends doing work than lazing about her bedroom."

"He does have a point, and Historie is correct." Souji commented, walking in from where I assume the bedrooms are without a shirt on. Plutie looked incredibly bothered by this.

"You stayed the night here?"

"He did more than that." Plutie replied to Cynthia, her voice matching the look on her face.

"Why didn't you come crash at our place, then?" I asked.

"I've already been over for a few days this week. You both deserve to be alone, and it was too late at night before I realized."

"Ah. You know you're more than welcome anytime, right?" I got no audio response, just a huge hug.

"Thank goodness you two are here. These two refuse to do their jobs as CPUs, and Souji is not helping!" The fairy cried out. This seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Maybe I'd be more willing to fucking work if these two hadn't have kept me up all night!" The sadist screamed. "Maybe I'd come out of my room more if these two didn't look like they were about to record a porno every time they're in the same room together, not even caring if I was in the room!"

Silence. Dead. Fucking. Silence. No, even the dead weren't this quiet. Before anyone said anything, she equipped her processors and flew away. Neptune had tears in her eyes and Souji's head was hung low.

"Do you three realize how much you hurt her?" Mouth, what are you doing? I didn't tell you to say things. "She tries so hard, yet you push her like she hasn't done anything." GOD DAMMIT! "You don't take her into consideration when you do these kinds of things. Just because you two love each other, it doesn't mean that you don't have to abide by social standards."

"I…I am a terrible friend if I couldn't realize how my actions were affecting her…" Souji muttered.

"While she hasn't done as much work as I expect, what she has done has been very beneficial. Perhaps I have been too hard on her." Histoire said, more to herself than anyone else. Neptune was just frozen, warm fluid running down her face in a steady stream.

"'Tia? Can you go find her? Plutie isn't in a good way right now. She needs someone and I can't fly."

"No problem. She'll be in good hands." Transforming in a flash of flame, I could see her take off out of the corner of my eye.

"…didn't know…I didn't know…" Neptune repeated this over and over, slowly curling into a ball.

"Neptune." I interrupted. "You couldn't have known. I didn't even know until she told me the other day when she got drunk while we were fishing. People are too complex for someone to just understand by looking at them, but YOU have to realize that this isn't a video game. This is life, and no one can just do what they want because they're "the protagonist". There's a saying back home that was called the golden rule. "Treat others the way you would like to be treated." Now, come on. By the time 'Tia finds her, she'll probably be cooled down enough for you to be able to apologize." I held a hand out to help her up. She took Souji's instead and the two left. "I went too far, didn't I?"

"Maybe, but it's what we needed to hear. You're an outsider, someone who is exempt from the way this world works." Histoire replied. "It is time that we stop thinking about this like a game, even if it really is one. Isn't that right?"

"How'd you know?"

"I am the world, and it is me. Since the moment I was created I understood everything about this world, and how it was represented in others."

"Well, they went to fix their mistakes. I should go fix mine while I'm at it. They can get on my nerves sometimes, but those two are my friends and I don't want to lose them. And I feel like Plutie is more willing to hold back if I'm in the way."

"Best of luck to you, Steven."

"Thank you, Histoire, and sorry for the metaphorical slap to the face."

"Apology accepted. Get going, you have a lot of running to do"

"Don't I know it."

 **I finished this! Yay! Though, I wish I had gotten it done sooner. And I did it again. I had a plan for this chapter, but I seriously went off the rails this time. Ah well, I still like what I did. I really do like showing more sides to the game's characters than what we see, so it's fine by me. Don't know how you'll all like it, but what happens, happens. Until next time, see ya.**


	5. Getting Things Done

Chapter 5: Getting things done

 **So, sorry about the wait. Given that finals were coming up and things were getting challenging (fuck VHDL), I had to put writing on hold to focus on the important stuff. I…also had to figure out what I was going to do with the beginning of this chapter, seeing as how the end of the last one was not planned at all. I would also like to say points to whoever got the references from last chapter. I tried to make some of them obvious, but there was at least one that was fairly out there. So, with my excuses said, on with the show.**

And run I did. I ended up having to run half way across the country to a land bridge between Planeptune and Lastation. I am not a man of stamina (sorry 'Tia), so there was a few times where I had to stop and take a breather. I knew they were all there because I could hear the echoes of an argument. About what specifically, I don't know, but that's evidence enough to have gone deeper. Not in the mood for mobs, I used what little of Lucifer's power I could to torch whatever got in my way. Man, the experience rolled in as I trail blazed (heh, puns) my way through the dungeon. When I finally got to them, Plutie and Neptune were hugging it out, though Neptune had a large red mark across her cheek.

"Looks like it's my turn to make amends…" I muttered, walking in on the scene. "Hey…"

"Steven." Wow. Neptune never calls me by my name formally. Oh, serious HDD Neptune is gonna gut me. The two goddesses let go of each other as she said that.

"Neptune, Souji…I'm sorry for what I said back there. I really am. Sometimes…sometimes you say something you want to, but in such an absolutely shit way that you wish you'd never had said it at all. Honestly, this isn't the first time I've done this, and it won't be the last. I just hope you can forgive me." I hung my head, not feeling all that great, for what felt like years before a hand was put on my shoulder.

"It's fine, Stevie." Is all that I received before the hand was removed. "After talking it out, we agreed that we needed the wakeup call."

"So…I ran halfway across the country to try to make things right…just for you to agree with me? God dammit…"

"You ran here?" Souji asked.

"Yeah. I would've taken 'Tia's bike, but it would've been in the opposite direction and I'm not very good at driving the thing."

"He falls over like a drunken toddler." Cynthia added.

"I'm already feeling down, you don't need to rub salt in the wound."

"I'm still glad you came." Plutie said. The whole shebang became awkward soon after, with no one saying anything.

"We should…we should go…I'm pretty sure Noire is expecting us, and you know how she gets when we're late." Neptune stated, breaking the silence. Agreeing with that logic, we all left for the neighboring country's capital. It was an exhausting walk, and I was glad that someone had something to drink on them.

"You know, after all these year I've never been into Lastation proper." I commented, looking around at the black themed city. "We've been around the outskirts, but never into the city."

"We'll have to come by some time. Maybe Noire can show us around." Cynthia said. The building that Noire lived in was separate from the Basilicom, and it was a fairly plain looking building. Hell, it was less of a standout than our house. Souji, very politely, knocked on the door. The tired looking CPU opened the door, and I just slipped by her. Sitting down on the couch, I began finishing a cross stitch. I had grown fairly good at it, it filled the creative void of not having my saxophone, and it just became a meditation type thing to calm down. This one was of horsebirds flying over a field.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" The raven haired girl asked me angrily. I don't blame her, I did just barge in.

"Trying to calm down after one hell of a stressful morning." I replied before returning to my work. After several minutes, the world kind of just faded away. I was taken out of my groove when someone was tapping on my shoulder.

"You've been at it for a while. Noire and Plutia went to hang out and Neptune took Souji back to Planeptune. She let us stay because we're the least likely to break anything." Cynthia stated, breaking my out of my trance.

"Oh…So, we're here alone, huh? Welp, I know what I'm doing now."

"And what's that?" She asked.

"Getting some blackmail material. She's got to have her cosplay stuff around here somewhere, and there's nothing wrong with having dirt on the leader of a country."

"Steven…" Oh no, she's using the mom tone. "You're aren't taking pictures of the cosplay she has."

"Fine. Ruin my fun…" I pouted half-heartedly. After just making idle chit-chat for a while, the four missing from our group reentered the scene. Neptune seemed very panicked.

"What's wrong, Neptune?" Cynthia asked.

"Histy got even more Pisty when we came back and told her we only learned about the Scout thing Nowa taught us." She replied.

"She even got one of my soldiers to track us down. She scolded me, and she's not even the Oracle of my nation!" Noire cried out. "I planned on finally taking a day off, and you guys are getting me yelled at by a fairy." She huffed.

"So, what will we do?" Souji asked.

"Maybe you can teach them how to do paperwork. I don't think I've ever seen Neptune do it and the little that I've seen of Plutie's was…a thing…" I commented.

"It wasn't that bad…"

"You filled in a lot of the blanks with nonsense, like smiley faces."

"You didn't…" Noire said.

"…At least I did some…" She said aggressively. You couldn't take it seriously with the embarrassed red color that was painting her cheeks.

"Looks like I've got my work cut out for me." Noire chuckled. "Well, what will you two do?" She asked, turning towards the two of us, seeing as how we were sitting next to each other on the couch.

"Someone is going to be practicing. Once he got those flames, he started slacking on everything else." Cynthia replied, grabbing my ear.

"You know, we can still just take the day to relax…" Plutie said, giving Noire a hug from behind, before leaning down to her ear. "You know you want to…" And at that moment, Noire short-circuited. Smoke came out of her ears as she collapsed.

"Let's…Let's go…" I said, wary of what could happen if I stuck around. We ended up going back to the area we passed through to get to Lastation, and I was quite literally thrown into a fight. And of course, any time I tried to use anything, even if just on reflex, I was hit in the back of a head by a rock. After several hours, I'm sure I was back to par on my staff skills.

"Ugh…Finally done…" Neptune and I said in unison, both flopping down on a piece of Noire's furniture.

"Steven, stop complaining. It wasn't that bad."

"You weren't the one getting hit in the back of the head by rocks!" I replied. "To think that you, my girlfriend, would do such a thing to me." Just add a little dramatic flair, and…

"Just go get an ice pack, you whiner." I think she's learned to see through my bullshit. I have lived with her for three years, so it makes sense.

"Lady Black Heart! A soldier shouted, charging through the door. The commotion brought everyone into the living room. "There's a problem in Wanderer's Cave!"

"What's wrong?" The amount of worry in Noire's voice made it clear that the area was important.

"The…The monsters…There's got to be at least four times the normal spawn rate! We can't keep up and we're losing men quickly." The man left as quickly as he arrived, presumably to return to the fight.

"I hate to ask you all this, but can you give me a hand with this?" Noire asked, obviously wanting to help.

"Of course we can." Souji replied. "Just lead the way." We hauled ass to the aforementioned cave to see that it was literally overflowing with monsters. The area around the entrance was also crowded with guards. They were either keeping anyone away or fighting. But the scariest thing about this whole situation was that I saw monsters spawning INSIDE of other monsters. That was a sight that no amount of alcohol could remove from my memory. See, before a monster dies and breaks into the particles that we all expected, they bleed and what not like the thing they were based on, and let's just leave it at that.

"Let's lend them a hand, shall we?" I asked, calling upon the GCG of Orcus. The soldiers were given the relief that they needed as our attacks aided in their efforts. Unfortunately for me, that killed all my time for Orcus' contract. Some of the soldiers got killed, and the god of death reassured me that they would get a proper rest. Noire gave the signal to move deeper into the dungeon and of shit were we in for it. I decided to aid Souji in his ranged support by using Artemis' contract. The staff had two glowing, horn-like protrusions from each end, and they were connected by a string of light. The armor itself was mostly leather and green cloth, so it was easy to move and sneak around. The weirdest part of this one was the fact that it made my hair grow longer. I let the arrows of magic fly in-between the times that Souji had to pause to ready another spell so that everyone had constant coverage. Unfortunately I burned though this contract, as well as Anansi's, and ended up resorting to my pistol and smacking away anything that got too close to the two of us. I always found Anansi's armor to be weird. Well, that was because it wasn't really armor at all. My chest was bare and covered in tribal markings and my dignity was only hidden away from the world by a stylized mustard yellow cloth. Mixing bullets and Lucifer's flames had a fun result. The explosions of blood red fire really made my day. I also occasionally used the strings I use to read an object's history to pull stalactites down from the ceiling onto the mobs. It took many an hour, but we were eventually able to return things to normal.

"*Huff*…*Puff*…I'm…ready to go home now…" Neptune panted, transformation dropping before plopping onto the ground. Exhausted myself, I followed suit. In the span of three minutes, all of us were on our backs, just lying there. Thankfully, Noire used her status as a ruler to have some of her soldiers to cart us back to her place.

"I want you all to go back and investigate. There's no way something like that just happened." Noire commanded to the volunteers that carried us. They saluted her before leaving. "I'm going to call Histoire." She said, turning back to all of us, who were sprawled out on her various couches. "I don't think any of us could make it to Planeptune."

"We're having a slumber party? Yay! I knew you wanted us around!" Neptune cheered.

"W-W-Why would I want YOU sleeping over!?" Ah, there's the Tsun

"Because you love us." Plutie said, clearly on her way to sleep.

"Lady Black H-"

"Noire, Souji. I'm sure that, after everything that has happened today, you can call me by my name."

"…Alright, Lady Noire. Thank you for your hospitality." He replied after several moments. That night was one to remember. I had worked very hard to create a version of Cards Against Humanity for this world, and the fruits of my labor could be seen in the horrible jokes that were made that night. There was also the fact that except for me and Plutie, everyone present had turned shades of red rivaling Cynthia's hair. Revenge sucks, doesn't it, 'Tia? The decision was made that we would lay out a bunch of blankets and pillows and sleep in the living room.

"Steven…" I heard Cynthia growl, waking me up.

"…'Tia…? What's up?" I asked with my eyes closed, fully intent on returning to sleep.

"Open your eyes." I did as demanded and realized exactly why she sounded so angry so early. Now, this requires a little context. You see, those of us that were couples had agree that. To not make the two that weren't uncomfortable, we'd have girls sleep on one side of the makeshift bed and girls on the other. This, apparently, did not please my subconscious and its desire to cuddle. So, just taking a moment to try and discern the blurriness from not having my glasses, it turned out that I was currently using Noire's chest as a pillow. Welp…RIP me…No god is gonna get me out of this one, and Lucy is probably gonna laugh his ass off all the while.

"I did NOT do this on purpose."

"That really doesn't change the fact, does it?"

"I'm just gonna…get up and pretend this never happened." Too bad I made said decision a little too late. The flesh beneath me moved a bit before a hand started feeling up the different parts of my head. She even stuck a finger in my ear.

"What is-?" Orcus, looks like we'll be meeting face to face here in a second. "W-W-What the hell are you doing!?"

"I don't know!" I replied to the screaming black haired CPU. The next thing I knew was pain, a broken jaw, and I think I got a black eye. It happened quicker than I could realize. "Why…?" I groaned.

"That's what you get!" Noire shouted, face still beat read, before storming off.

"I can't believe you…" Cynthia said, tears running down her face. She turned to leave, but I darted up and grabbed her hand.

"I would never cheat on you, or do anything on purpose to hurt you. You know that, right?"

"…" She was silent for what seemed like hours. "I know, but I can't help but think that you might run away from me for someone else. Someone…normal…"

"It's been three years. If I wanted to, I would've left a long time ago. And since when have I wanted something normal?" We hugged it out, only for me to hear a small thud by my feet. Looking down…Ah, shit…

"What is that?" Oh, double shit!

"It's…It's a ring…I forgot that I had stick it into my pocket after we got back here. I went to the bathroom to change and it fell out there too." I couldn't help but chuckle as her eyes widened. She was clearly putting the pieces together.

"That's…"

"I had a much more romantic plan for all of this; Candlelit dinner, fancy dress, ring hidden as a dessert topper, the works. But, this works too." I picked up the box and opened it up. The deep purple stone was held atop a gold band. Simple, yet effective. The stone itself was cut from the very first stone we found when we started looking for the temples. "So let me prove myself, by giving me the privilege of being your husband."

"Of course I will." She answered. At least the source of her tears was different now. The ring slid on easily enough. "I don't think we should tell the others yet. After yesterday, well…"

"Yeah, I get ya. Also, imagine what Neptune would put poor Souji through." We headed into the kitchen hand in hand for breakfast. My breakfast, given my injured jaw, was a fruit smoothie. The conversation at the table was light, but Noire would not look me in the eye. As we headed out to head home, we ran into someone I really didn't want to run into with my jaw the way it was, because if it wasn't broken before, it will be soon.

"I finally found you, bitch!" The blue haired goddess growled.

"Who are you calling a bitch!? If you want a fight…" Noire activated HDD mid-sentence. "Then it's a fight you'll get!" The two literally butted heads as they brought their weapons to bare.

"Should we do something about this?" Souji asked.

"Of course. We can't let some naughty girls ruin such a nice city." The sickeningly sweet tone Plutie used, which was accentuated with the crack of her whip, promised nothing but pain.

"You pick who you'll deal with, and I'll get the other." I said. Plutie, clearly not happy with the invading goddess, went after her. That left me with Noire. Using my metal staff, I stealthily approached from behind.

"This isn't going to end well." Wow…Cynthia, Souji, and Neptune just spoke in unison. The two goddesses were so focused on their brawl, which left their weapons on the ground as hair was pulled and punches were thrown, that they never notices us before they could do anything about it. Plutie sent her whip into the dust cloud with mastery before pulling out an entangled Blanc. From there, I pinned Noire's back to mine by holding my staff against her collarbone and leaning forward.

"Hey! Let me go!" Blanc shouted, with Noire saying something similar.

"If you get into get into a real fight here, a lot of people will get hurt, and the punishment for that will be SEVERE." Plutie replied, putting as much malice into the last word of her sentence that I have ever heard from her, and I've seen her actually angry.

"Noire, you're the leader of a nation. Instead of picking fights, you should use the diplomacy inherent with the job and talk things out." I added from my admittedly awkward position. This is killing my back, but it was the easiest pin to get her into at the time. That aside, let's roll for diplomacy and…*rattle, rattle*…Nat twenty, alright!

"Fine. You're right. This is my nation, and I need to present myself as an example to my people."

"And…Alright, this wasn't exactly my brightest idea." The other goddess agreed. I released Norie, and Plutie released Blanc.

"There, that wasn't that hard, was it?" Plutie asked with a smirk.

"Oh, shut the hell up." Blanc said before transforming back to her regular form. Noire followed suit.

"Looks like we won't be heading back to Planeptune anytime soon." Cynthia commented.

"Darn. And I was hoping to play that new game that Planeptune just came out with." Neptune complained.

"It's alright. We can binge it once we get home." Souji said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"If you don't mind, could we have this meeting in Lowee?" Blanc asked politely, a stark contrast to the language she was just using. "We have just made a room at the Basilicom for meetings like this, and I'd like to see it used."

"It would be a step in the right direction for forming a treaty or agreement." Cynthia commented.

"Okay. Lead the way."

"Sure. Come on, Souji."

"Of course, Lady White Heart." The two Lowee natives lead the way through an area near Wanderer's Cave. The walk was quiet. Too quiet. Luckily, the trope for me even thinking that never came to pass, and we made it to the snowy nation unharmed. After a bit of a hassle with the guards Blanc led us to the room that she was talking about. It was an ornate wood floored room that was styled after Japanese culture, much like the rest of the city. The four leaders sat at one end of the table that was in the center of the room, while 'Tia, Souji and I were at the other end. It was really entertaining, seeing the four not know how to begin.

"Should we help them?" Souji asked.

"But how?" Cynthia asked. Calling upon the things I learned in my high school US government class and from the comic reporters that give more accurate information than actual reporters, I stood up.

"I got this." I dragged my chair to where the CPUs were sitting.

"So, what do you mean 'You got this'?" Plutie asked.

"You're all just sitting here, so I'm going to guide you by the hands. Let's start with something simple. A peace treaty."

"Yeah, that seems like a good idea." Noire agreed. They worked out terms of the agreement, as well as what constitutes as breaking it. That took a few hours.

"So, what's up next, dear navigator?" Neptune asked.

"How about a trade agreement? It's either that or international immigration. Both of those should have some agreed upon rules."

"Okay. Neptune, are you actually going to participate this time?" Blanc deadpanned.

"Oh, don't forget things like copyright and technology. You could do some interesting things if you allow those to be implemented in each other's countries."

"Like what?" The four said together.

"Okay, but just listen before judging me as crazy. You can make it so that developers in a given country can make games for all of the countries' consoles."

"That…would be for the best." Noire stated after a bit of hesitation. "It would certainly boost trade economy, and that way our citizens can play a variety of games without having to buy so many consoles." All I had to do was sit back and watch as the discussions took place.

"Ah, this is going nicely."

"Shall we go get something to eat? I know a good noodle shop that is near here. I feel like Lady White Heart and the others will be at it for a while." Souji suggested. The growl from my fiancé's stomach answered his question long before her mouth did.

"Hehe…That'd be nice…" She replied shyly. I was cautious of the establishment. The last time I had anything like what I think this place had, it was instant ramen, and that was gross.

"Here we are." Souji said, beaming with pride. It was almost literally a hole-in-the-wall place, but I couldn't help but enjoy the smells coming from the place. He walked up and held the curtain open for us.

"So, what can I get for you three?" The little old lady at the counter asked.

"Three of the special, please." Souji ordered for us.

"Coming right up." The man in the back, who I assume is her husband, quickly got to work. Within fifteen minutes we each had a bowl in front of us. The two began to dig in while I…I attempted to eat the noodles. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"Nope."

"Here. This should help." She handed me a fork, and I have never been so grateful to see the utensil in my entire life. I hesitantly took a bite and holy shit was that good. I guess Storm was right all those years ago about how the instant stuff didn't hold a candle to the real stuff. Between talking and eating, we must've spent an hour in that little restaurant. I could really see why Souji suggested this place.

Upon finishing, we headed back to the palace looking Basilicom, only to be stopped by the guards. Said guards we accompanied by a large old man with glasses.

"Arrest these three!" He ordered.

"On what charges, Minister?" Souji asked him as he was placed into handcuffs.

"For you and Lady Blanc, treason. The others are simply foreign invaders."

"She created this nation how can she commit treason?" Cynthia reasonably asked.

"Shut up!" A soldier yelled, hitting her in the nose with the butt of their gun.

"By trying to collaborate with other nations breaks the principles that this nation was founded on." The old man answered. "Take them away!" The soldiers dragged us away after throwing some canvas bags over our heads. We were led down some stairs and into a cell before the bags were removed.

"Hey, are you okay, 'Tia?" I asked, checking out her nose.

"I think it's broken, but okay otherwise." She replied, her voice nasally.

"Alright, let me see what I can do." With some spare cloth I keep in my inventory, I cleaned up the blood on her face and set it the best I could so that it would hopefully be in the right place.

"Thanks."

"Stevie, is that you?" Neptune asked from the cell across from us.

"Yeah, it's me. You guys okay?"

"Yup. Is Souji with you?"

"Yeah, but…he's not in a good way right now…I don't think he's taking this very well."

"Blanny isn't either." Plutie said. "And we're stuck in these weird handcuffs."

"You guys want out?" A male voice said from a cell nearby. Since I couldn't see them, it must've been from a cell on the same side of the hall as me.

"The help would be welcome." A female voice that was, to me, known to be from Vert. "I was just visiting on vacation when they put me in here."

"Alright, here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna kill myself, someone calls for help, and then I knock them out and we get out of here."

"You're the one we captured after you stole the cursed sword."

"Okay, in my defense, it didn't have a fucking label, and you didn't exactly have a label on the damn thing."

"Wait, I know that brand of douchebaggery anywhere. Johnny?"

"G1? You fuck, this is where you've been?"

"I didn't have a voice in the matter, and it's been three years for me, so…Yeah…Also, I'm older than you now."

"Really? Is now the time?"

"You're the one that wants to kill himself. I'm just giving you a reason."

"The sword he stole, Souless Synner, curses the user with the inability to die. If he were to kill himself, it would just bring him back."

"Ha! Suck it, bitch!"

"Motherfucker, I have deals with gods that let me use their power. Who needs killing themselves when you have Hellfire?" The crimson flames sparked to life in my hands and I proceeded to melt the bars. After doing so, I saw Johnny standing in his cell, as alone as he'll be for the rest of his life. "So, you got the red frosted tips, huh? Couldn't have picked something a little less cliché for your black hair?"

"Fuck off, I'm still taller than you."

"Maybe, but I have more money than you, being this world's Indiana Jones."

"You didn't."

"I have the hat."

"Of course you fucking would."

"Hey, what are you doing out of your cell?" A guard yelled. Strangely enough, they didn't unarm us. One revolver shot later, and I had the keys.

"So, who's ready to beat the shit out of an old man that's got it coming?" I asked, and almost every hand was raised. After everyone was free, of course. Oddly enough, Vert gravitated towards Noire as we traveled through the cave system that was underneath Lowee's Basilicom. It would be nice if we could go into a cave that wasn't inhabited by monsters. When we reached the surface, we were actually inside of the walls of Basilicom. It's weird to hear Vert and Noire speaking to each other so casually, but I guess things are different when you don't know that the person you're talking to is one of your rivals. Meh, maybe that'll make things easier later.

"Now if only I had that sword." Johnny mused, looking down at the knuckles that were red from punching so many things.

"Here." Blanc said, handing him the black and red blade to him. "After you got your hands on it, I decided to keep it on me."

"Thanks." After fighting our way through the guards and security robots, we found the minister.

"There you are, you bastard!" Blanc shouted.

"Ah, so you made it out. Well, you're too late. The country knows exactly what I want them to. You've lost the faith of your people, and this nation will be ruled by me, Mr. Badd. This shall be the greatest victory for the Seven Sages to date."

"Of course this is the Seven Sages' work. Why wouldn't it be?" Noire asked rhetorically. Blanc tried transforming, only to see that he wasn't lying. She had lost the faith of Lowee's citizens.

"He…He wasn't lying…" She said dejectedly.

"Well, you don't need their faith. You have ours." Plutie said.

"Oh, are we having the magic of friendship moment?" Johnny groaned.

"Just let it happen. And it'll end."

"Yeah, we've got your back, and I know ya got ours!" Neptune added. I looked around and saw that Vert disappeared like she was supposed to. Blanc transformed after receiving the faith from her newfound friends, and the others followed suit.

"What, are you not gonna do something either? You could in that other story of yours."

"Nope. It hasn't been twenty-four hours yet, so I'm left with my gun and my staff."

"Really? A staff?"

"Sometimes I can make it into a scythe."

"We really need to talk."

"Later, Johnny. Later." Mr. Badd decided his method of offense would be a robot suit that was as fat as he was. Honestly, not very impressive.

"Make sure to get all of this, Mister Rat." Plutie said, turning and winking to the rat she used as a weapon a few years ago.

"S-Sure thing, chu." Oh, how did I miss the rat with the camera? Alright, let's get this shit show on the road. Basically everyone but me charged at the machine the man was in while I hanged back. Not like I had a choice in the matter, given my melee of choice, so I just took pot shots when I had a good line of sight. After a bit of time, the mech broke, but that was not the end.

"B-But I lost! You can't do this to me!" The Seven Sages member cried out.

"Hmhmhm…But of course we can…You lost after trying to take over my friend's country. You deserve everything you're about to get; all of my attention."

"Yeah, you fucking bastard! Let me hear you scream!" I'm just going to take a few steps back, because I'm NOT getting caught up in that. Poor guy was mocked and beaten on camera for over half an hour.

"I like her." Johnny commented, staring at Plutie. Or, at least staring at her booty (heh, rhyming). Warechu tried running at one point, but all of us standing there made it so he couldn't.

"Come on, let the guy go, chu! He passed out five minutes ago." The talking rat pleaded.

"Hm…No wonder why this was beginning to feel boring." Plutie mused.

"Can I…Can I just take the guy home?' Smart rat. Ask. That way you won't be in the line of fire.

"Take him outta my sight!" Blanc roared. He was swiftly carted away, and everyone that was transformed released them. "I'm sorry about today. Could we resume our talks some other time?"

"Talks?" Johnny asked.

"They were discussing things like treaties and the like." Cynthia replied.

"G1, who's the furry?" Right, we never really did introductions, huh.

"Well, Johnny, this is Cynthia. She's my girlfriend."

"So you're a furry? Didn't think you had something like this in common with Conner." Oh no. He said the "F" word.

"I'm not a furry!" She yelled, punching my formerly internet only friend.

"I believe we've had enough violence for one day." Souji interrupted before a brawl broke out. "My name is Souji, partner to Neptune and accomplice in the partially legal explorations of these two's."

"Do you have a stick up your ass?"

"Only around new people."

"…Okay then…" Johnny said. After a moment of thinking, he spoke up. "Where am I going to stay? I've spent my entire time here in that prison."

"We have a spare ro-"

"No. We aren't housing him, Steven."

"I don't think Histy would mind someone of your height around. She has trouble with the shelves." Neptune joked.

"Says the one that transforms just to get to the mugs." Plutie countered.

"Hey! I thought we agreed not to talk about that."

"You are certainly a lively bunch." Blanc commented.

"And this won't be the last you see of us." Noire said. "Especially those three. Just wait. They'll be knocking at your door at three in the morning hoping you could confirm something that they found during their research."

"That was one time, Noire!" I replied, not caring how undignified my voice sounded.

"You know, you're right. The other times were ONE IN THE MORNING!"

"How many times are you going to make us apologize for that?" Souji asked.

"As many times as I feel like!" To think that's what our day of international affairs would be. Starting off the talks after stopping the fighting, having real ramen for first time, getting kidnapped, and then stopping a coup all while meeting a friend from back home. I'd drink this off, but I do need to start the wedding plans. After some rest in the comfy rooms that Blanc provided, we all headed home, stopping in Lastation before going back to Planeptune.

"So, how are we going to do this?" Cynthia asked as we walked into the door of our home.

"Do what?"

"The wedding. We have to plan out a venue and the food and…"

"Hold on, 'Tia. We have plenty of time to worry about that. We haven't even announced a date, so let's take it slow."

"Sorry. I'm just excited."

"I can't say that I'm not either."

"So, celebratory dinner?"

"I think I can get Plutie to pull a string or two to get us a reservation." Ah, that night was fun. The reservation thing fell through the moment we walked in the door, so we went to a version of Dave & Buster's in fancy dress before passing out as we walked into the door.

 **Yay! Done! So much bullshitting, so little time. I meant to get this out sooner, but things happen. It may be late, but happy holidays and a happy new year everyone. Here's to 2018!**


	6. Games for the Game Gods!

Chapter 6: Games for the Game Gods!

 **So, here we are once again, doing a co-authored chapter. Well, I'm going to try not to spoil anything.** **And this time, it's at my place.** Oh...that explains why it smells funny then. **That would be some of the rum I spilt. The rest is in that metal water bottle. No, you aren't allowed to have any.** But why? **I'm not dealing with drunk you, let alone drunk you in my own home.** No comment, anyway shouldn't we get started before we trail off? **So, get started before the usual/your bedtime? Sure.** You shut up. **Make me. Remember, I can go get the shotguns now.** No need, you're too trigger happy. **No just live in a society with some busted as fuck gun control regulations.** We're getting side tracked, let's just start... **Sure.**

 **We won't say for what, but there are spoilers. So many spoilers. You have been warned.**

"And you want to borrow my fiancé...why?" Cynthia asked, staring at the young man that was her original's older brother.

"Well, I don't exactly know the guy all that well, and you are pretty much my sister, so…" He replied.

"Tehg, I'm sure you're just worrying over nothing. Remember, I've lived with Steven for years."

"About that...Why would you agree to let someone you hardly know into your home, like when you first met him was it?" He countered.

"He was actually homeless at the time, and after doing some Quests with him and the others, I felt comfortable enough to let him stay in my spare room." She replied.

"I see...I still want to borrow him though." He says with an 'innocent' smile. The sound of a whistle could be heard. The blower of said whistle was the young man in question.

"I don't like the sound of that, so I'm gonna puff on this rape whistle until the cops come."

"G1?"

"Wait...I know that voice...Tehg?"

"Yea, that's my name."

"You don't...You don't know me?"

"You look and sound familiar. But other than that, sorry no." Tehg replied.

"Hm...This really is some multiverse shenanigans..." He mused before blowing the whistle close to the other male's face.

"You can stop that anytime, I just want to play a game with you...Ok that doesn't sound any better."

"Yeah, you sound like that villain from the Saw movies."

"Wait, Saw movies? G1? What are you two talking about?" Cynthia asked, confused. "I thought only Johnny called him that."

"It's the only name I got for him, so it's what I'm calling him." Tehg says, answering part of Cynthia's question.

"Well, his name is Steven. Steven, this is my original's older brother, Tehg." She said, formally introducing the two.

"Oh, things are making a bit more sense now. Damn multiverse shenanigans."

"More sense? 'Tia, is it possible for someone so young to go senile?"

"Hey, I resent that...Might be true, but I resent it."

"So, what's this about a game? Actually, why do you even want to play a game with me in the first place?" Steven asked. Tehg chuckles and shakes his head.

"Well, you see. Originally it was to see if whoever Cynthia's fiancé was a decent bloke. However when I learned it was you, that has changed to a simple bonding experience!" Tehg explains with fake mustered glee.

"What's a bloke?" He asked, ignoring the rest of his answer.

"I'm not going through the hassle to explain it." Tehg says, sighing in annoyance. Steven turned towards Cynthia, hoping for an answer.

"He wants to play a game with you to see if you should actually marry me."

"But he hasn't been here in years? Why should he get a say in who you marry?"

"I've been busy with things in my own world and not had the time to ask Histoire to send me over here. However I am still protective over family, regardless."

"You still could've called. The two know each other's numbers, so it wouldn't take the three days it normally does, and we do live here in Planeptune. I mean, it has been THREE YEARS." He said, emphasizing the amount of time it's been.

"Look, I get your point. I honestly do, but being caught up in a civil war. Not much chance to talk when your miles away from Histoire."

"For three years? Also, why doesn't dealing with a civil war sound as impressive as it should?"

"It's because we've been hunting down temples so you can make contracts with gods from your world. Not many people can claim something like that." She responded.

"I am a god!" The older of the two males looked up towards the ceiling, the marks on his arm glowing different colors and his eyes changed to match.

"The gods that I have contracts with say you aren't. And one of them is the holder of all the stories in the world, so he'd know."

"No need to rub salt in the wound."

"Did I forget to mention that I talk with the Devil on a regular basis? He makes a good drinking partner."

"That's because he can still function after ten shots of vodka." Cynthia said.

"There's no need to rub salt in the wound." He whined.

"Thanks, Cynthia. Now then, are you on board with playing this game?" Tehg asked the man.

"I mean, sure, if we don't have anything planned for toda-...and, she gone. Welp, it's game day. Should've had that high carb meal last night."

"I don't think that's going to be necessary."

"So, where are we doing this then? And what game?"

"I have it set up back in my world. Also it's called Doki Doki Literature Club."

"Let me guess, it's a visual novel."

"Aye, it is. Now then let us be off, we have a game to conquer!" Tehg cheers while fist-bumping the air. Steven hesitantly followed after him, not sure about what was about to happen.

"Welcome to my humble abode." Tehg says, showing Steven into his room at the Basilicom in his world. It's a small room decorated only with a bed, a table and a computer.

"It's...certainly Spartan…"

"Aye, sad to say with me out so much, I've not had the chance to personalize it..."

"You must've found some stuff while you were out. Hell, our house looks more like a museum in certain rooms with all the collectables. Remember Cynthia's ring?"

"Well I don't have a way to transport stuff so I don't really bother looking unless I'm in the capital. Also yeah, I remember seeing it."

"Well, that stone was from our very first outing. It was a dead end, but we found enough there to fund us for outings that were farther away from home, and that was the very first thing we found there."

"I see, well then are you ready or do you need some time to prepare?"

"Prepare? For what? It's a VN, and I used the bathroom a little bit ago."

"I meant for snacks and stuff, but okie dokie."

"You mean Doki Doki right?"

"...yes…"

"Start it up." Steven said, waving a hand towards the computer.

"Let's go." He says, clicking on the new game icon as a popup appears asking for a name to be input. "So what we naming the guy...or girl?" Tehg asks Steven.

"I have an idea." He replied, reaching for the keyboard. Tehg stared slack jawed at what was entered.

"SinisterMrFister…?"

"Now they get to say that all the time, and we get to get a chuckle out of it."

"Good point, now let's start this thing." The game started off like every romance VN ever, with the introduction of the childhood friend. The two wrote poems and pursued the Natuski route at Tehg's insistence. So, the two had quite the decision to make when Sayori confessed her feelings. With a flip of a coin, they decided on accepting her confession. So, imagine their surprise when.

"What the fuck!" Steven shouted, pointing at the image on the screen.

"I know! The hell!? Why did this happen!?" Tehg shouts out in response to Steven.

"I mean, we were nice! We accepted her confession! Why would she hang herself!?" At that moment, the gears started to turn. "...Didn't Monika say we left her hanging…? Did she...know? Worse, did she make it a fucking pun?"

"We will never know until we play more of the game." Tehg deadpanned.

"Do we have to?"

"We're already this far down the rabbit hole, might as well see where it ends."

"Or we could start climbing back up." Tehg continued the game and it brings them back to the main screen. Only this time, it was different. "Whoa! The hell? What happened to Sayori's thing!?"

"Is that Monika mixed with Sayori's sprite?"

"I'm clicking the glitched new game button." Tehg said with panic in his voice. They then start to play through the game again albeit the game has changed a bit. They get scared by the various glitches and distortions that happen to the characters' sprites. While writing the first poem for Act 2, when Tehg chose a word that Yuri liked, the little sprite on the left side of the screen took a turn for the freaky.

"What the fuck was that!?" G1 asked. "Yuri's thing did a thing!"

"So shall we...No, I can't overlook that it was to fucking freaky!" Tehg exclaimed. After that exchange over the sprite was over they continue through the game until they get to a certain point. "What the hell, Monika!? We're trying to read here!" Tehg says, sighing.

"Yeah, we kinda can't see, and I think that's a four wall break. Is that a fourth wall break?" Steven asked, turning to Tehg.

"A minor one, if it is. At least the scene isn't so bad so far." He responds, thinking intensely. After a few clicks, Steven speaks up.

"Another question. Is the scene tilted, or is it just me?"

"Uh, yeah, it is. Good eye." Continuing through the story, the scene eventually returns to normal, and the hanging Sayori CG in the background disappeared.

"Thank whoever is watching that's gone…" Tehg mutters.

"It bothered you that much?"

"I may always look composed to a degree, but this is to much!" He responds, audibly distressed. As he finished talking a text box appeared on screen.

'*too'

"Did your sentence just get corrected by the game?" Steven asked Tehg.

"Whatever I don't see can't hurt me. Whatever I don't see can't hurt me." He repeated, almost like a mantra.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes and keep going, as much as I'm hesitant to do so." The closet scene with Natsuki came by once again, though it was somewhat different.

"Fucking Monika…" Steven repeated, before laughing a bit harder than he should have. "This game is great."

"Yeah...Great..." Tehg says, seemingly recovered a bit.

"Hey, you have no room to bitch. This was your idea."

"I know that, but I didn't think that it would correct me. I mean it IS just a game isn't it?"

"I feel like you just set in motion some serious shit. Like, straight out of a horror movie shit."

"Lemme burn it, lemme burn it...LEMME BURN IT NOW!" Was all he got in response.

"No! You started it, we're ending it! And if this does go south, I'm making sure your bitch ass dies first!"

"Remind me not to get stuck in a horror movie like scenario with you." Tehg says while sighing.

"Nah. I kinda wanna see how this plays out." He replied, clicking on. The game goes on very plainly, which was becoming the weird part of this game, Natsuki admitted that she was beaten by her father. "I don't want to see how this plays out anymore." Instant regret was had.

"I'm kinda interested now, let's keep digging." Tehg said, taking the mouse from the older man. It wasn't long before the game got weirder than before, changing the pink haired girl's eyes and mouth to moving black pixels. "Noooo! Why Natsuki!? She was so innocent!"

"Wasn't Sayori more innocent than she is though?"

"Sa-who now?"

"...Never-fucking-mind…" The girl returned to normal after the scene change, where Monika talked about Natsuki not being fed in a more...joking tone… "Okay, that's not cool." Steven said, giving the computer screen the bird while making circles on the screen with his knuckles. After a few seconds, a feminine hand reached out of the screen, grabbing onto his wrist.

"What I don't see can't hurt me!" Tehg exclaims

"Let go! I've seen enough horror movies to know what happens next, and I'm having NONE OF IT!" Crimson flames danced in his free hand before making contact with the offending hand. It quickly darted back to whence it came. "Mistakes we made." He said, looking down at his blistered wrist. "It sucks that it's only my hands that the Hellfire can't burn."

"You think? Also that sounds like a you problem that should be fixed rather quickly."

"I think I have some gauze kicking around somewhere in here." He replied, digging around in his pocket before removing the roll of cloth. "This should do. Mind giving me a hand?"

"Fine, I need a breather after that anyway." He says, taking the roll and then proceeds to bandage the wound. Part way through this process, the game exited full screen and a text file opened.

"You see this, right?"

"If I don't see it, it can't hurt me." He replies in monotone this time.

"Then at least finish bandaging me. Imma see what it be."

"Fine, fine…" The file read as such: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you two. I'll...I'll leave you alone, just don't hurt me anymore. -M.

"Should...Should I respond to this?"

"Gimme the keyboard a sec." Tehg says to the man.

"Why? Aren't you afraid it'll hurt you if you see it?"

"Only way to know is to face it head on." He replies, chuckling.

"Says the guy who's been curling up in the fetal position. I've got this." The older of the two said before typing away. 'I'm not exactly innocent either. Lucifer has been saying I'm quick to use his Hellfire, and I did kind of freak out.' "And save? Maybe that'll 'send' it?"

"Maybe, try it and let's see." Tehg says taking the mouse and saving the file. There was no real response, but the game had went back to the way that they had had it when they had actually been playing. Everything was fine, but a small detail had changed.

"Her hand is bandaged, Tehg. And she's got tears in her eyes." Steven said, pointing to Monika's left hand.

"What I...no I'm done with that, um... Maybe she really is sorry?" Tehg asks.

"Or she hurts. Either way, I'm pretty sure that was her reaching out of the screen, which makes this even more freaky."

"Well noooo, who else has a name beginning with M huh?"

"A hacker fucking with us from somewhere else?"

"They would have to be either really brave or really stupid."

"Stupidity can breed bravery."

"While true...You know what? Let's just press on." And so the duo did, getting through the various scares and glitches that happened, until one very sickening crunch sound.

"OH, her neck broke! Oh fuck!" Steven yelled.

"GIVE ME THE MOUSE AND KEYBOARD!" Tehg shouts, a mix of anger and fear in his voice. He then minimizes the game again and goes to the file that was created to add something in: 'Explain!' was all he put in there and he then saved it and waits for a response. He didn't get a response.

"Either that was a one-time thing, or she doesn't want to talk." Steven stated.

"Oh, ok. I get it. Teenage girl stuff."

"Aren't you a teenager? Are you even allowed to talk?"

"I'm an adult, there's a difference."

"There's the word teen in how old you are, right?"

"I already know where you're going, and I'm just going to say...let's continue." The two continued through the game that was getting more and more broken. They eventually, much to their relief, got to the point where they could write their second poem.

"Why didn't you stop me from clicking on it!?" Tehg cried out, staring at the screen, terrified. During the whole encounter, the two had come across a glitched out word. After some coaxing, Tehg clicked it.

"Because I wanted to see what would happen."

"I hate you."

"Hey, you wanted me to suffer, I'm just bringing you along for the ride."

"I really, REALLY hate you."

"Just finish the damn poem." He went and finished the poem, jumping in fright as a stick figure like Sayori appears hanging while the screen distorts slightly. It didn't stop there. Yuri was seen cutting herself, yet the game "rewound" so that the MC didn't see what happened. "Um...Wat?"

"See! I tried telling you something was up with Yuri, but no, you had to believe she was ok."

"I feel like it is a reasonable thing to do, thinking someone is okay until proven that they aren't."

"So tell me, how does that look okay to you? I'm thinking it was Monika's doing."

"Well, it doesn't, and she did seem shy and withdrawn even in the first act. It could just be a thing she has that the game doesn't let us explore?"

"I don't know why, but I hope that's not the case. I wanna know more about this." And learn he did, through the fight the fight that Natsuki had with her.

"I know shit has happened because Monika and all, but I feel bad for her. Like, all she wants is for other people to be happy and express themselves, and these two are kind of fucking her over. Hell, even our character is blowing off her idea. She's like a cinnamon roll. A kind of crazy cinnamon roll."

"Ok, I do agree with you there, but there's still the crazy part."

"Well, she is the only one who seems to be able to do this. Maybe it's just driven her to that point? If I was alone with no one to talk to outside of slated talk, I'd go nuts too."

"It's obvious she knows how to code, so why couldn't she just make her own happy ending instead of suffering, eh?"

"Inexperience? Changing the levels of something is one thing, a complete overhaul of a created work is another. I know, seeing as how my degree involves coding."

"Y-you have a degree, huh…? Well I guess you have a point." Continuing forward, Yuri proceeded to go full yandere, even getting real eyes, which was incredibly off putting to the two. During said freakiness, Monika intervenes, putting an end to that scene.

"Oh, thank Christ. That was just getting to be too much. Thank you, Monika."

"I have seen many things...but that horrifies me the most. Thanks Monika. You're still a psychopath though."

'You're welcome, though that's a little rude of a thing to say to someone helping you~'

"Oh! You got served!" Steven cheered, pointing at Tehg.

"I think I need to lie down for a minute." He lied down in his bed, though he could still see the screen as Steven played on. Eventually, well, let's just say "Just Monika". We know you know what we mean.

"Monika? Care to explain?" Steven asked.

'I didn't do that.'

"Are you lying to me?"

'That would be telling~'

"Oh, don't you do this to me."

'Do what?'

"You know what, just gonna move on."

"Hey Steven?"

"Yes?"

"Just Monika." Tehg says as he sits back down in his chair.

"I can and will hit you."

'There's no need for fighting, you two.'

"Did...did we get scolded by a game?" Tehg asked.

"I think we did." His cohort replied. The two get through more of the game but are stopped when they get to the part where they have to pick who their spending the weekend with.

"I pick Monika." Tehg says, surprisingly.

"Hm...Well, the game blocked us from her last time, so why would it let us this time? And what about all that shade she threw about the other two? That was pretty rude of her."

"Hm, true I guess. We can try selecting Natuski."

"We chose her the first time around. Why not see what Yuri is up to?"

"Eh, good point. Fine, I guess we're picking Yuri." As they try to pick Yuri the cursor gets pulled towards Monika. After a lot of struggling, they were able to click on the Yuri option. What they received was not fun for them. There was all kinds of static with Monika's eyes floating about and options for Monika. The game returned to normal and went about its day.

"What the fuck!? Tell me I'm not imagining this." Tehg almost pleads after what he witnessed.

"That...was a thing…"

'You know, question marks are kind of important for asking questions, so I just stuck one in there for you.'

"What is she talking about Steven?"

"I get the feeling she wasn't talking to us."

"Oh, I think I get the gist now." Tehg says cryptically. So after that exchange they pressed on until Yuri confessed to the MC. "Steven, this is all yours." There was no answer for a moment, before he pulled a quarter out of his pocket.

"Heads is accept, tails is get the fuck outta Dodge." The coin was flipped, and the answer was decided. "We're getting the fuck away from dis bitch."

"Fuck this shit we're out." Tehg says as they refuse her confession. The result was said girl stabbing herself twice in the stomach and once in the chest.

"You know, that actually wouldn't work. The ribs would've blocked the knife the way she stabbed herself." Steven stated.

"Firstly, it's a game. Secondly NERD!"

"This nerd has more money than you and could make sure they never found your body."

"Hahaha...There's almost no one who could kill me...unless you're hiring Dezz, that's another matter." Tehg trails off.

"I mean, the first god I made a contract with was the Roman god of death and the underworld...so, yeah…"

"Point made."

"Precisely." The two's conversation led to them being surprised by the amount of time that the game forced them to look at Yuri's dead body.

"So we might be here awhile...So how's your day going?" Tehg asked the clearly annoyed man.

"It was fine, until you dragged me here to play this game."

'All in all, it could be better.'

"Well you did get rejected multiple times no?"

'No need to bring it up. :('

"Sorry, sorry...So any idea how long till we don't have to look at this anymore?"

'Ahahaha...Soon, hopefully. I can't speed this up, and I don't really like looking at it either.'

"Understood." So the two (Three. Don't forget about me~) sat there a couple minutes more and finally the scene changed from the one that was stuck on for a while. Natsuki entered what was the normal setting for the club, only to run out vomiting.

"Well, that's a shame." Monika said, not only in the text box, but out the speakers of the computer. Disgruntled noises came from the throat of the older man, and the game cuts out, removing the other characters on the main menu except for Monika.

"Should we hit new game, or just cut our losses and bail?" Steven asked.

"I don't think we have much of a choice, we've come this far after all." Tehg says both annoyed and intrigued. He hit the button, and they were shown a room. It was just the club room, and the only character on screen was Monika.

"Hey, you two." She said through the speakers, forgoing the text box that was the normal for this game.

"She's evolved!" Tehg cried out, ducking for cover on the other side of his bed.

"Well, that's just rude." She huffed.

"To be fair, this is about two or three steps from becoming the beginning of a Terminator movie."

"Why would I do that to anyone?" Monika asked.

"You did it to Natsuki and the others!" Tehg yelled, still hiding.

"They weren't real, though, just puppets of the script." She went to move her left hand and flinched.

"That still hurts, huh?" Steven asked.

"Yeah, but it's okay. I forgive you."

"Wait, aren't you supposed to be calling us darling or something, saying that you love us?" Tehg asks.

"I heard that one of you is getting married soon, and after our talks, I feel like any feelings I did have wouldn't be returned. You did really try to be with Natsuki, after all."

"Oh yeah, I did mention so-no need to rub salt on the wound."

"So, what now? You killed your friends, and you're stuck there with your thoughts and the weight of your sins." Steven said, not all that happy about the means to her ends.

"...You don't think I don't know that. How terrible the things I did to them were? They were my friends! I didn't want things to have to be like this! I just wanted a chance…" There wasn't much animation, but tears could be seen running down her face. "Just one chance…"

"Hold on a sec." Steven said. "Hey, Lucy, got a question for ya."

" _ **What's up?**_ "

"Can you see if she already has her parking spot reserved down at your place?"

" _ **Do I seem like a pencil pusher to you?**_ "

"As long as you're in your cage, you might as well be."

"What's going on?" Monika asked.

"I have no idea." To the other two, the adult man was having a conversation with himself.

" _ **Fine, fine, just let me take a look, maybe ask around.**_ " After several minutes, the Devil responded. " _ **She's coming here as is, but that trip's not a guaranteed thing. What are you planning?**_ "

"Oh, just some do-gooder stuff that I know you hate. Thanks. I'll get you a beer sometime. Don't know how you drink that crap, but still."

"Um...Steven? Who were you talking to?" Tehg asked.

"Oh, you know, the Devil. Asked him if she was guaranteed to go to Hell. Got a 'she's salvageable' from him, and now Imma do a thing."

"The devil, huh…? Well, anyway, do your thing. Imma sit back and watch." Steven approached the computer and stuck his hand out.

"You could do it before. Take my hand, and hold onto you panties."

"Um...I don't think I should do that last part in front of two guys." She replied, face turning red.

"*sigh*...Just take my hand and hold on tight, 'kay?" The hand that wasn't burned came out of the screen, much like last time. After getting a firm grip, the older man heaved his arm back, bringing the girl out. With his swing, however, she landed on the only other person in the room, who had just so happened to have decided to see what was happening.

"Why!?" Tehg yelled, Monika firmly sitting on his chest. "You did this on purpose, didn't you, Steven?" he questioned the man.

"No, but I kinda wish I did."

"I still hate you…"

"What...what is this? Is this…?" Monika asks, bewildered

"The real world? Well, sort of. It still works like a video game for certain things, but it's more JRPG than VN." Steven answered.

"Gaming lingo aside, welcome to this side of the monitor...Also, could you get off, please?" Tehg asks while welcoming her.

"Oh, ahaha...I'm sorry." She said, standing up. "What am I going to do now, though?"

"That's up to you. You're not stuck to the script anymore. Though, I do suggest trying to do something about that ticket to downstairs. Been there drinking a couple times. Not fun for the folk that are supposed to be down there. Unless you're into that real kinky shit, but there's a separate part of Hell for them."

"I've heard some stories too. Not a fun place." Tehg adds, ignoring Steven's last comment.

"Why do you care? You don't love me like I thought you would."

"Because you're a redeemable, broken girl who has a right just like any other person. As a wise robot once said: "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings"."

"Don't forget the psychotic part, but he has a point...Also nice reference." Tehg says, grumbling the last part out.

"Thanks. I grew up with gen one being on Saturday mornings. And even psychosis is treatable, especially how hers came about. Though, I guess I have to ask. What do YOU want to do?"

"Can I stay with one of you? You're the only ones I know, and I don't have any money."

"Not me. Histoire would kill me if she found out I broke the laws of nature." She turned towards Steven, hope in her eyes.

"I've already got a plan. See, when you're sister through somewhat legal means runs a nation, getting some paperwork and adoption forms filled out is that much easier. Plus, that gets you on the healthcare plan."

"YOU GET A HEALTHCARE PLAN!? Lucky…" Tehg complains.

"Yeah. Technically, I'm an explorer for the nation, and I'm a decently high member of the Guild. I get private AND government healthcare."

"Salt. In. Wound. Steven."

"It's fitting, seeing as how salty you're being."

"True…Anyway, how are you gonna get back?" He asks with a small smirk.

"Yeah really underestimate just how many places Hell connects to. If you won't bring us back, we can go that way."

"Don't I get a say in all of this?" Monika asked.

"Does she Steven?"

"She does. That was just my plan to get her settled in until she's ready for whatever it is she wants to do. If she wants to tweak it somehow, than sure."

"I...I like the idea, but going through the place I might end up in doesn't sound fun." She turned to the side, looking down at Tehg. "Are you going to get up? I don't like the idea that you might be trying to look up my skirt."

"Fine, fine, I'm getting up. As for transport...I hate doing it because of the energy consumption, I COULD make a portal for you...possibly." Tehg says as confidently as he could.

"We could ask Histoire." Steven suggested. "They know each other's numbers."

"What did I say not too long ago?! I don't feel like dying thank you very much." Tehg complains.

"Then in the words of Palpatine: Dew it."

"Hm, ok...but if something goes wrong, it's all on you." He says, grabbing the crystal at his waist and holds it out before he starts to chant what seems like never ending verses for the best part of ten minutes. As he finishes the last sentence a barely large enough blue portal opens up in the room for them. "We better hurry up. I don't have the energy supply Histoire has." The two went through, one jumping, the other being dragged by the hand.

Finally it ends! **'Cuz your lazy ass wouldn't get on to work with me, or you were busy with your mom. How did she find you here?** No comment. 'Oh, what's this? I've never seen one of these before.' **Tehg, did she…?** Ah shit, I think she did. 'It's rude to talk about a girl like she isn't here. And I even went to help with your mistakes, Tehg.' Yes… I noticed. You also had to break a few walls doing it to? '*Too, and someone had to get what he missed.' **Hey, I don't miss things!** Uh...You do, at times. You even make your own mistakes that I had to point out. **You say that like I didn't see them.** 'You went right past them…' **Quiet you! So, let's wrap things up because, you know, this happened.** 'Are you two leaving?' Uh...Yes and no. **We'll be back, don't worry. Though, I think it'll be a while for Tehg. So, anyways, that's it for this. Until next time.** 'Bye~!' Tehg out, peace.


	7. The Devil likes to come in Clutch

Chapter 7: The Devil likes to come in Clutch

'What kind of chapter title is that?' **Are you really judging me about what I want to call me chapter?** 'Yes! They're supposed to summarize what the chapter is about, and you just give them a teaser for the end of it.' **But it's funny. My naming scheme is to make funny chapter titles or make them a big reference. Check some of my older stuff if you don't believe me, Monika.** 'I will…Why? Why would you do that?' **Well, why not?** '…I'm not going to bother. So…You had this done faster than your other chapters for this story.' **Yeah. My mom mailed me a calligraphy pen and it got me motivated.** 'You write with calligraphy?' **Oh, hell no. My handwriting is too bad for that. No, I just like the sound of it when I used it.** '…' **I'm really getting tired of people judging me for that. Anyway, seeing as how I'm pretty sure we just wasted a bunch of your time, on with the show.**

The never ending expanse that was the blue portal that my brother-in-law-to-be finally revealed an opening, spiting the two of us out. Unfortunately, one of us didn't have grace obtained from years of training and combat experience.

"Ow…" Monika whined. Honestly, I couldn't help but chuckle a bit. It was like looking into a mirror.

"Here, let me help you up." I said, lending her my hand. She took it and I pulled her onto her feet. "Well, that was not the way I wanted to introduce you to this world, but oh well."

"Ahaha…It's alright. This wasn't exactly something we could control."

"True. Now, time to figure out where the hell we are."

"How are we going to do that?"

"Everything has a story, Monika. Some may be boring or insignificant, but can be useful anyway. I'll just grab a pebble or something and see if I can't gleam the country we're in. We can go from there." Touching a rock on the ground, I pulled out the string that held its story and found that we were in Lowee.

"Lowee, huh? He didn't exactly drop us off close to home."

"Lowee? Is that like that game console."

"The Wii? Yeah. All the countries are puns."

"I saw that. The code comments have it stated quite blatantly. Honestly, they made it hard to miss."

"Code comments? What code?"

"The code for this world. When you said earlier that this world is like game, I got curious and decided to look."

"You haven't…" I don't want to call her out on something she didn't do, but I can't help but get worried. Especially if Histy found out.

"Done anything? No. After everything that happened because I changed things, I think I'm done playing God."

"Okay. So, we're somewhere in Lowee. Between my watch and where the sun is, Planeptune should be…that way." I pointed southwest. "Get ready for a long walk." I turned back to Monika just to see that she was gone. "Oh, God dammit." There was some trampled grass, and seeing as how that was the only lead I had, I followed. The makeshift path lead to a fairly large clearing. Monika was clearly visible at the center, given how long her hair was. Too bad that was the only thing you could see of her in the ocean of dogoos. They aren't really an issue for me after all this time, but for someone who counts as level one, she wasn't in a good way.

"How can something so soft hurt like this!?" Monika cried. Shooting one of the goo monsters that was fairly close to her with my revolver rewarded me with a sadistically satisfying scream from the teen.

"Their looks can be deceiving. It's better to just kill them before they can do…well, this. You made today that much more difficult, you know that?" Before she could respond, I called on Artemis' contract. With a bow in my hand, it took me almost seven minutes to dispatch the few hundred mobs. Normally it would have taken less time, but I had to be careful not to hit Monika. "There we go all taken care of. Monika, you really have to be more careful here in Gamindustri. If it doesn't look explicitly human, it'll probably want to kill you, and even then there is a chance that that human looking thing will want to give you a sudden case of death."

"I know that now." I got her up off her the ground and we made our way to Planeptune. I thought it would be funny to whistle _Into the Woods_ as we walked. My walking companion was not amused. And, as is the par for the course, we ran into several groups of mobs on the way. Well, at least Monika got XP for it. "Wow…It's so beautiful…" She said as we entered the city.

"Yeah it is. So, seeing as how that took significantly longer than I wanted it to, we should go see Plutie first. You won't be able to do much without, well, being a person."

"Where and who is she?"

"See that building over there? The tall one towards the center of town?" I asked, pointing at the Basilicom.

"Yup."

"That's where she, my sister, lives. Up towards the top, at least. A good amount of the lower floors are offices and whatnot."

"That's kind of intimidating, to be honest, ahaha…"

"Don't incur her wrath, and you should be fine." The amazement on the girl's face as we walked through the city was entertaining. This must've been what I looked like when I was first here. We headed up the elevator after greeting the desk jockey. With a few raps on the wood, the door opened.

"Hello, Ste- Who is that?" Ah, shit. With the way Tehg wanted to avoid his, I was hoping to bypass my Histoire.

"Hey, Histy. This is Monika."

"Hello." Monika said, waving. "It's nice to meet you."

"Yes, it is indeed nice to meet someone who could do what I thought only I could. What were you doing, trying to modify the world?"

"I wasn't trying to modify anything! I was just trying to find out where we were. Tehg brought us here in the middle of a forest." The tiny fairy looked ready to snap.

"Histy, enough. After everything that's happened in the last twenty-four hours, she won't be doing whatever you think she will." I argued. Sometimes you really have to put your foot down with the stubborn little fairy. "Is Plutie around? I need her help with something."

"No. Johnathan convinced her to go somewhere with him. Why do you need her?"

"Well, I know that she made those documents for me-"

"That was me."

"Steven? Why is she talking in emoticons?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake!"

"Um?"

"He is the only one that cannot perceive that aspect of my speech." Histoire explained. "I should introduce myself. I am Histoire, the one who records the history of this world. I shall begin working on the documents the two of you need. While I do that, I suggest you go home. While you were gone, with Blanc's help, Cynthia found another temple."

"I was really hoping I'd have an excuse to not go home for a bit, but…Well, time to meet your mom-to-be, Monika."

"Okay!" The walk home, for me, was spent trying to figure out a sane sounding explanation about why there would be someone that looked to be our age coming to live with us for the foreseeable future. I was also simply bracing for impact. "This is your house?" She asked, looking at the front of our two story place.

"Yup. We got it a few years back after our first big exploration attempt. Been paid off the mortgage about six months ago. Now, for the moment of truth." The door was unlocked, which was expected given the fact that it was around five p.m. As I opened the door, I saw that there was three sets of shoes. Seeing as how one of those shoes is here often, it was safe to assume that Plutie had brought Johnny here after he finished that thing he brought her along for. "I'm home!"

"We're in the dining room!" Cynthia called back. I waved Monika in while pointing to the couch in the living room. Heading into the mentioned room showed that I was right. Plutie, Johnny and Cynthia were all at the table, empty plates sitting in front of them. "How was your time with my brother?"

"It was…an experience…One that we both agreed that we'd never like to go through again."

"It couldn't have been that bad." Johnny commented.

"Johnny, let's just say that I learned today that I'm not the only one that is a little bitch when it comes to the horror genre."

"Haha!" Leave it to Johnny to bust a gut at someone else's expense.

"Yeah…Well, he wanted to play a VN with me, you know, judge me for my choices. Turns out that even he didn't know it was really a horror game. Even weirder was the fact that one of the characters wanted to be a real girl. Made text files just to talk with us and everything."

"She didn't try to do anything, did she? It's be a shame if something had to have happened to my little brother." Plutie asked, voice promising no mercy.

"First of all, we've established that I am, in fact, the older of the two of us. Second, why don't you ask her yourself?" With the set up being the slam dunk that it was, Monika walked into the room, albeit slowly and shyly.

"H-Hi…I'm Monika. This is…This is really awkward…"

"So, a girl from a horror game decides to leave said game, and the first idea you have is to bring her home with you? Jesus Christ, G1, aren't you supposed to be the smart college student?" Johnny asked.

"Well, yeah…Everyone does things in their life that they regret, and most don't get the chance to make up for those decisions. If I threw her to the wind without helping her do just that, I felt like that would be something that would haunt me. Oh, and she'll be living with us for a while." Cynthia's gave snapped to me, leveling a glare as embers cackled at the edges of her eyes. Oh, here it comes.

"Why?" She asked with a coldness in her voice that contained the same fury as the look on her face.

"…You can't leave family on the street?" My response came out as pathetic at best. "Histy is working out the paperwork now."

"What?" All three questioned.

"Yup. Think, 'Tia, this could be a trial for when we actually have kids. Look, this whole situation is really complex, and honestly pretty fucked. Some details aren't even my place to share. I hope you can understand." Without a word, my fiancé stood up and walked a few laps around the brunette. Stopping to meet eyes with Monika, Cynthia just stared for a while.

"I did something like this a long time ago with Steven. Back then he had so much sadness and longing in his eyes, just like you do now. Your father had so much hurt and want for love in him that it'd be hard to miss. If he thinks that we can help you like we helped him, then I'm sure it's doable."

"Father…?"

"Welcome to the family." Cynthia said, wrapping her in a hug. Breaking the embrace the redhead turned to the CPU in the room. "Plutia, do you mind if she uses your room? We don't have a third bedroom."

"Of course she can use it. This way, anytime I stay over, I can just cuddle with my cute little niece." Monika's face turned red at the sadist's words, which was just an offer to take things further. "Maybe I'll just stay over tonight. How does that sound?" Plutie continued, brushing a hand down the side of the teen's face.

"Come on, Plutie, leave her alone. She's only been a person for…" I paused to look at my watch. "…Eight hours. Give her a few days before you start your teasing."

"Fine, fine, but I was serious about staying over. Neppy said something about having Souji over for the night."

"Just soundproof your room like I did." Johnny suggested.

"But I actually like spending time with everyone and Histy would never be able to wake me up."

"Fair points." Johnny conceded.

"Well, between getting Monika settled in and Souji dealing with the aftermath of Neptune, it looks like we won't be going to the temple tomorrow." Cynthia groaned, slumping down.

"Histy said that it'd take a few hours for all the paperwork to be dealt with. We could use that time to get her the necessities" I suggested.

"Could we go to the store, too? I get the feeling that you aren't prepared for a lifestyle choice of mine." Monika asked. "I'm a vegetarian."

"I'm not giving up my bacon." I stated, getting a slap to the head by Cynthia in response. "But getting meat substitutes for you isn't a problem. We should get more pots and pans while we're at it, so that we have enough to be making two meals at once.

"That's…the best I'm going to get. Okay, I'll take it." Monika replied, clearly exasperated by my unwillingness to not eat meat.

"So, while you go murder your wallet, I'm going home to hunker down. I've got enough in there to survive for a few days." Johnny said. "See ya." With that remark, he left.

"Hmhmm…Well then, I believe it's time to spoil my niece." Plutie said, hugging Monika from behind while giving me a look. This look was special, one that was used on special occasions. This look demanded my debit card and refused to take no for an answer.

"*sigh* Fine…Just, please be gentle on it." I said, handing the goddess the ability to bankrupt me. "I'm assuming this means that I'm not invited to come along."

"Steven, sweetie, I love you, but you know nothing about fashion. Your entire wardrobe, except for your explorer outfit and shorts for summer, is full of nothing but jeans and t-shirts. The most fashionable thing you own is that leather duster that Noire gave you for Christmas last year." Cynthia answered.

"That hurts, 'Tia. That really hurts."

"Sometimes the truth hurts." She said as she headed towards the door, putting on the white flats that matched her white sundress. "The documents I found are on the desk in the study if you want to read them. I also saved you a plate from dinner. It's in the microwave."

"Okay. See you three later." I went to the microwave and reheated the curry that was left for me. Taking the warm food into the study, I sat down at the desk and began reading. There were a few pictures of archeologists that had found the temple before. Nothing in the background was anything that I recognized, but that's mostly because my knowledge of mythology is mostly limited to Greek, Roman, a bit of Celtic, and Christianity. That last bit was the drunken ramblings of the Morning Star, but meh. Then there were the reports. Apparently, for years now, anyone who went in didn't come out. The files took me an hour to go through. Seeing as how I really didn't have anything to do, I figured that Histoire had enough of the paperwork done that I could start filling things out. But before that, a detour. I have things to put into motion.

"Whaddaya buyin'?" The Merchant asked, just like every other time anyone approached him.

"Not buying, more like…placing an order." Seeing as how my weapon normally isn't all that effective against mobs unless I coat the ends with hellfire or use one of my GCGs, I came up with an idea to compensate, and the man before me was the only one that I know for a fact that could get me what I needed. I handed him a piece of paper detailing what I wanted. "Think you can get your hands on it?"

"It'll take time, but I'll get it to ya."

"Thanks." Fishing out some cash, I handed it to him. "Here's a down payment." With that taken care of, it was time for some government bullshit.

"Hello, Steven." Histoire greeted after I knocked on the door.

"Hey Histy. So, have you gotten to the point where I need to start putting down my initials? I figured if I started now, things might flow a bit more smoothly."

"Actually, yes. Please follow me." What the tiny book girl lead me to could only be described as a mountain.

"Oh, what the actual hell…" I sighed. ' _ **Hey! Leave my place out of this!**_ '

'Not now, Lucy!'

"Steven? Are they talking to you?"

"Yeah. Most of them stay quiet, but Lucifer likes the sound of his own voice. How could you tell?"

"Even though I couldn't see the mark, seeing how it's on your back, your eyes turned red and you look up and to your right when talking with the gods. But, as to what you said earlier, this is what you wanted, no?" She asked, gaining a sinister glint to her eyes. Honestly, I couldn't tell if it was from what I had asked of her, or the rhythmic thumping I was trying my hardest to ignore.

"Yeah, but I get the feeling that this amount is just to spite me. Or venting due to those two."

"Why would I ever do that?" I can't tell what it is, but she is pissed at something. It took four hours to go through everything that I needed to fill out. I even had to call the girls a couple times to get some of the info about Monika, like her birthday.

"There, done." I sighed, slamming my head onto the table. "Can I go home now?"

"Of course. Here, these are the documents that you are to keep." The tiny fairy replied, handing me a few sheets of paper. There was a birth certificate and things like that. "Have a nice night."

"You too." I groaned. My wrist hurt from all the writing I had to do. The door at home was unlocked, and when I walked in the three were putting away groceries. There were a lot of bags on the couch that had the labels for various clothing stores on them.

"Welcome home. Can you put these on the upper shelves of the pantry?" Cynthia asked. Being five-ten made me pretty tall when compared to her five-three and that meant that I was the one to deal with anything requiring height of any kind.

"Sure. Just let me put away this birth certificate and proof of adoption." I answered, making my way to an empty spot to set them down.

"Our family is just getting bigger and bigger." Plutie commented, clearly thrilled with the idea.

"Yup." I replied, putting away the cleaning products that I would inevitably have to get back down. "By the way, with the way those two were going at it, Souji's going to be down for a few days."

"Going somewhere with a reputation like that with just two of us isn't a good idea." Cynthia said, unknowingly agreeing to what I was thinking.

"Could I come?" Monika asked. "I can't say I'm not interested in what my parents do."

"This temple is known for killing people." I deadpanned. "And what do we do? I mean, we fight monsters, but we do all this research. Does that makes us archeologists?"

"Stevie, focus. And I'd be more than willing to come along if it means she can." Plutie stated. "With three of us it shouldn't be a problem, and I could probably convince Johnny to come too."

"That could work. With him not being able to stay dead, he would make quite the meat wall. Hey Monika? Ever use a camera before?"

"No, but it shouldn't be too hard to learn."

"Awesome. With you having the camera, your mom can handle fights without worrying about losing our evidence."

"If you want him to come, call him now. Tomorrow morning will be too late." Cynthia suggested. "If he says no, tell him he can keep what he finds." Plutie made the call, and the prospect of money was indeed what drew him in. Well, that and she said to him that she might say yes the next time he asks. Don't know what that might be about, and frankly, I don't want to know. We took turns using the shower, seeing as how we only had one, and when I exited the bathroom, I was treated to a very entertaining sight.

"A-Uh-um…"

"Aw…What's wrong…?" Aw…Monika is getting her first real Plutie Teasin™. Plutie, in her pajamas that only consisted of underwear, sauntered up to her. "There's nothing wrong with looking. We ARE family." Plutie added, turning Monika's face towards her. Is that…That is blood dripping down her nose. Alright then.

"Remember when she did this to us?" Cynthia asked.

"Oh, I remember. At least she has some sort of clothing on this time." I grumble in response, not happy with the things those situations made my body react. Seeing as how it was getting late and we had to have an early start, I bid everyone goodnight and passed out on the bed.

"You look retarded." Johnny said, staring at my outfit for such occasions.

"And you're gonna get cut to hell as we go through the forest and shit." Johnny, in his infinite wisdom, decided to come in an outfit he said he wore often. This ensemble consisted of black and red sneakers, black shorts, a red muscle shirt with a black short sleeved hoodie over it, and a black hat with the Legend of Zelda Goddess symbol in red on it. The sword that had cursed him was hanging at his hip, attached to his belt by the sheath.

"Is now really the time for you to be fighting?" Monika asked.

"Yes, we certainly can't keep Blanny waiting." Plutie added. Cynthia stood between them, clad in HER explorer's getup. Plutie was wearing heavy duty boots (heels are implied), what I think are cargo pants, a long sleeved shirt, and a vest with a few pockets on it. I don't know why she did something like this because, you know, processors. Monika was in something similar, probably Plutie's doing, but hers was green and black while the CPU's was shades of purple and blue.

"Let's just get this over with. I want my loot." Well, it sounds like someone didn't have his morning coffee.

"You'll get it, just be patient." Turns out my wife-to-be also didn't get her coffee. The trip to the cold country was significantly shorter than the one yesterday. We never really met with Blanc, just a researcher from a sight they had set up near the temple. He led us to where we needed to go.

"Here we are. If you don't come back within seventy-two hours, you are presumed dead."

"What kind of shit-show did you talk me into?" Johnny asked us.

"The fun kind." 'Tia and I replied in union.

"You two are two peas in a pod." Johnny sighed, shaking his head. As we approached the entrance, several snaps of the camera could be heard.

"This is incredible! I couldn't have ever seen something like this in my game." Hm…Camera sounds gives me an idea.

"Hey, Johnny, can I ask you for a favor?"

"Depends."

"Could you take a picture of the four of us?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure." We gathered together, and I leaned down to drape my arms over Monika and Cynthia. Plutie was in-between them, positioned ever so slightly to her right so that my face wasn't blocked by her head. With the loud snap of the old school camera, our first family photo was taken. "There you go."

"Thank you." Cynthia said.

"Don't worry about it." With that taken care of, we moved on into the structure. The main building was a large hall and had multiple hallways attached to it. Some of them were lit while others were still dark. "Which do we go down first?"

"Probably one of the lit ones. I'm not exactly keen on going down any of the ones that haven't been travelled, given what this place does to people, and this way we can bring some bodies back." I led the way down the first one to my right. There were a few corpses at the end of the hallway, right before it made a sharp left turn. Leave it to me to trigger a trap. As we got closer, you could see where what looked like a blade had nearly cleaved them in two. So, what does my dumbass do? I get closer. As soon as I got within arm's reach of the bodies, one of the stone tiles I was standing on compressed.

"Ah hell…" I'm really glad that I had Artemis' gift. Had I not, I would probably end up joining the three. So, instead of dying, I had a nasty gash from right shoulder to left hip. The swinging axe blade swung back up, and I looked over my wound. It wasn't anything life-threatening, but I'll definitely have to see Ragland about it later.

"Are you okay?" Cynthia asked.

"I can deal. I did, however, make a problem for us."

"Not really." Plutie stated. I still find it weird that she used stuffed animals as her weapon when she wasn't using her processor units, but when she threw it at the ceiling and brought the trap crashing into the ground, I couldn't complain.

"Hot damn." Johnny whistled. "Honestly wasn't expecting that."

"When it comes to Plutie, you really cam't predict what she's going to do."

"I'll have to keep that in mind for later, Mom." Monika said, taking a picture of the ruined device along with the researchers. You could see the exact moment where her heart froze from being referred to as Mom. After we moved the bodies back to the main hall, we proceeded down that hallway. After several different turns, we found a section of hallway that wasn't lit. Each side had two rooms from what I could tell.

"What's the plan?" Johnny asked.

"Pick a room, I guess. Maybe stay in two teams. 'Tia and I should be on separate teams, seeing as how both of us can produce light of some kind." I suggested. "Monika, you stick close to someone. We don't know how many more traps there are."

"Okay." The split ups were kind of surprising. Johnny went with me while the girls stuck together.

"Give me a light?" Johnny asked, holding up a piece of wood.

"Yeah, I got ya." I replied, setting the tinder ablaze with the crimson flame. He went into the room right in front of us, leaving me to go down the hall to the next one. Inside, on a marble pillar, was a book of some kind, wrapped in blue leather. There was nothing on the book that indicated what it was or who wrote it. Besides that, there was a pile of gold coins, about 1400 of them. This was impressive, seeing as how we've never come close to this amount. Breaking open a vase revealed four gems. From the looks of it they were lapis lazuli, obsidian and two pearls. Each were worth about two and a half million credits, from what the internet said about precious stones in this world. I guess they aren't much of a thing. I pocketed all the loot before opening the book. There wasn't a discernable language in the thing. "Meh. Could still be worth something." A scream pierced the silence as the ground began to shake. "I…don't like the sound of that…" Investigating led to by far the weirdest experience I thought I'd see in a temple of the gods. There was an adult woman with waist long white hair and red eyes, and she was all up in Monika's personal space.

"My, what a cute Master that summoned me. I am Caster, but you can just call me Iri. It's nice to meet you."

"What is happening?" 'Seriously, do any of you know what this is?' The unanimous no, as well as Lucifer's remark about boning her, spoke volumes about the oddity this woman was.

"Well, we were looking in this room when Monika went ahead of us. As soon as she stepped into that circle, it lit up and the ground shook. Once all that stopped, here she was." Plutie explained. I gave the summoned woman a good look over. She was in heeled boots that stretched up to her mid-thigh. The dress she wore exposed her midriff and parts of the area between her neck and cleavage. A crown sat upon her head and she had this cloak thing covering her arms. The entire ensemble was white with gold accents.

"Um, Iri?" Monika asked while opening a screen like she looked at before.

"Yes, Master?"

"What are you? I'm looking at the world files and there's nothing about you there." Monika explained.

"I'm a Heroic Spirit, someone of old who became legendary. I…don't seem to be able to recall much of my past, just my name, Irisviel."

"It's nice to meet you, Iri. I'm Monika. Dad, why is there information that's missing in your files?"

"That's a story that is to be said in the comfort of our home, away from any eavesdroppers." I explained. "Iri, I'm assuming how since you called yourself Caster, you're a magic user. Is there any chance that you can find any traps as we move deeper into this place?"

"I'm sorry, but my magic only really works for making constructs."

"That's fine. Should've known it wouldn't be that easy. We'll just have to be careful, and we have an extra set of eyes now."

"We should find Johnny and move on. This place is creepy, and we haven't ran into any mobs yet." Cynthia said, taking charge. Johnny looked very satisfied when we regrouped. He probably found a lot of loot. Wait until he finds out that all of our profits from these trips are taxed. The hallway eventually opened up into a large room filled with bodies. The smears on the ground showed that they were dragged here.

"Well, this isn't ominous or anything." Johnny quipped. Many, if not all, of the corpses stood up, shambling around like the zombies they were after a purple magic circle shone down from the ceiling.

"You had to open your fucking mouth." I whined, whipping out my revolver. If Resident Evil has taught me anything, it's that my staff isn't going to be very helpful. I may have gotten stronger, but I can't remove a head from a torso with it. I should invest in something sharp and pointy. Caster pulled what looked like a wire from her cloak-sleeves and they formed themselves into the shapes of birds. Johnny unsheathed his sword, splitting it into its red and black halves, giving him two single edged blades. Monika hunkered down behind Caster, clearly staying out of the fight and Cynthia had her knife ready and waiting. Iri made the first move, sending the birds towards a severally decayed man. Right before impact they changed shape into broadswords, severing it in two from the t of the head down through the balls. Meanwhile, Johnny and Cynthia were a whirlwind of motion, cutting down anything that got near them and Plutie put her sword-whip to good use. I put a bullet in the skulls of any zombies that attempted to approach the two non-melee combatants. It took a while, but between all of us we were able to clear the room. Before we went any further, one of Caster's sword things launched at the ceiling, destroying parts of it. The face she was wearing was clearly one of anger.

"There. Now no one has to have that happen to them again." Caster really wasn't happy that there was two more rooms exactly like it. After many hours and many a video game reference made by me and Johnny, we made it to the innermost chamber.

"Finally." Johnny said, wiping his brow. "There's that damn crystal of yours."

"So, this allows you to make a contract with a god?" Iri asked.

"Yeah, though that comes after the last obstacle: the boss."

"We have to prepare, at least. It usually doesn't show up until after he tries to grab it." Cynthia added.

"Consider it done." Iri said cheerfully, revealing her hands to be full of her wires. The amount of creatures she made to form our trap was honestly really impressive.

"Okay, show time." I sighed, walking up to the pedestal and attempted to claim the contract crystal as my own. Unlike any of the other times we've done this, this one sank into the ground without any fanfare. "That's new." From the pit that formed rose a massive skeleton in the shape of a dragon. It stood on its hind legs and flared the wings on its back, letting out a roar that something at its status shouldn't physically be able to do. Johnny reconnected his swords before taking a mighty swing at it. A bone on its leg cracked a little bit before it swiped a claw at him. The bone weapon cleaved right through. But he got right back up. I still haven't figured out if I'm jealous of that or not. The beast wasn't fazed in the slightest, continuing its assault.

"Hellfire Bomb!" I called out, triggering the skill I finally gave a name. The bullet impacted and detonated, taking an arm out of the equation. Plutie, when she wasn't attacking with a whip or skill, was keeping the three of us who could die alive.

"Steven, why aren't you using your GCG!?" Cynthia yelled.

"It's already dead, so Orcus' wouldn't work, my bullets aren't doing anything so why would arrows, Lucifer's just doesn't work, and Anansi's abilities don't help in such an empty room!" During my explanation, I never noticed that the dragon had gotten close to me. "Oh." Pain, yay! I now sported four large gashes that I had to see Ragland about. The three diagonal slashes crisscrossed the one from earlier.

"Caster, help him!" Monika yelled. I could see one of Iri's creations flying at me, grabbing on, and dragging me over.

"Creation magic may be my forte, but I know some healing too." She explained, probably more to Monika than to me, before placing a hand on me. Patched up well enough to move, I was up and in the fight once more. My hits didn't do much in comparison to the three blade users. I guess the thing identified Cynthia as the primary threat and went after her. The wounds she inflicted did scorch the bones, after all. Its attacks were relentless, giving her no time to counter or activate her DGU ability. Her health bar showed that she couldn't take any more of this.

'Alright, enough is enough! Lucifer, I don't give a damn anymore! I'm taking your power by force!'

' _ **Good! Go ahead! I've been waiting for you to set this world on fire!'**_ The anger I felt at that moment was strong, and clearly not entirely mine. Between you and me, I'm pretty sure he's taken a liking to 'Tia.

"Lucifer!" The fire that Lucifer's contract granted me shot up from underneath me. Something felt weird almost immediately. Turning my head, I saw that I had two black feathered wings suspending me in the air. Instead of the staff and it's variations that I normally used, I had a sword. The blade was longer than my arm, shone of silver, and was coated in the crimson flames I'd come to know and love. Looking myself over I saw that I was in armor of similar make.

"Time to take you down." I stated. 'Lucy? Why do I feel weird, and why is my voice two-toned?'

' _ **Well, our contract is a bit different than the others, seeing as how I'm not an actual god and I'm stuck in the cage. You, well, are me. At least for a while. And like everything else, it comes with a downside.'**_

'And that is?'

' _ **How much do you like your soul?'**_

'Quite a bit.'

' _ **Well, the longer we do this, the more it gets eaten away at.'**_

'Oh…I'll make this quick, then.' With the sword of the first fallen in hand, I cleaved the offending appendage that held my fiancé to the ground clean off. The joint of the shoulder looked like it had melted.

"Steven?"

"Hey. Looks like you aren't the only one with wings anymore."

"I noticed."

"You got a plan, G1?" Johnny asked.

"Um, not really. Swords aren't exactly my thing, although swish, swish, stab shouldn't be too hard."

*In the Throne of Heroes*

A tan man in red and black narrows his eyes. Something someone said had perturbed him, yet he was alone on his hill of swords. A blonde woman in blue stood up straight from her place underneath a tree, drawing her blade.

"This will not go unpunished, I swear it."

*With our heroes*

"That's the dumbest reference you've made." My fellow earthling replied.

"It's better than no plan at all." Plutie retorted.

"I guess. Come on! Let's go!" He yelled at the thing, charging. With no real viable options available, we followed his lead. He wires Iri used bound what remained and the four of us stabbed the thing in the skull. The bones crumbled to dust, signifying our victory. I fell on my face because a certain someone killed the GCG from his end.

"We can go home now, right? I think I've seen enough dead bodies for a long time." Monika pleaded.

"In just a bit. You father just has to make the new contract." As Cynthia explained, I picked myself up using my staff and made my way to the pedestal. Taking the book shaped pink stone in hand, I crushed it, starting the process. In the dark void, I was greeted by an elegant tenor voice.

" _Hello, contractor. I am Hecate. It's a pleasure."_

"The pleasure is mine."

" _I have much I would like to share with you, but I must pick one…Given everything we have seen about you, my magic would be the best option."_

"Magic? That would help out a lot." Also, magic is fucking awesome.

" _I would not put it into such vulgar terms, but it is indeed a wonderful tool. Very well. With this gift, our contract is sealed. I look forward to seeing what you will achieve with it."_ The blackness faded and I saw everyone but Cynthia staring at me.

"You explained, right?" I asked my wife-to-be.

"Nope." She replied, popping the 'P'.

"Lovely. I was NOT talking to myself. I was talking to a goddess. Hecate, to be exact. She was the Greek goddess of, well, a lot. Crossroads, entranceways, light, magic, witchcraft, knowledge about herbs and poisonous plants, ghosts, necromancy and sorcery. To summarize…Magic is fun." Rolling up my sleeve, I saw that the mark left upon my arm was staff with a curled end. "At this rate, the neat tattoos excuse isn't going to work anymore."

"Who cares!? Let's get out of here." Johnny demanded, walking towards the exit.

"He's got a point." Monika agreed. "This isn't really the place."

"Yeah, I know, I know. Just let your old man contemplate a little.' With the help of a horse made by Iri, we were able to make it to Lowee fairly quickly. Side note: I am NEVER riding on anything with her if she's in control ever again. She's a god damn maniac. Blanc called Ragland to Lowee because I told her that it was getting harder to move around.

"Hell of a job you did to yourself." The doctor said. "This won't heal pretty." He added, continuing his stitching.

"As long as I can move like normal, it's not that big of a deal." It took fifteen minutes for him to finish, before he put me on no labor for a week. That kind of sucked, given that I had things to try, but Johnny's tears after a good amount of the money he made was taken by the government definitely made me feel better.

"We're gonna need a bigger house." 'Tia said after we went our separate ways with the two inhabitants of the Basilicom.

"Yeah we are. Four people regularly, five on occasion and no room for a kid if we decided to have one is NOT going to work. I just don't know if we could find somewhere."

"I can find someplace if you ever need space." Monika suggested. "It's not like I'll be alone, and I have your numbers in case I need help."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. Besides, someone doesn't like being in the city." Oh. We're having this conversation now, 'Tia?

"Well sorry I'm used to a suburban life."

"Relax, I'm just teasing. We would find a bigger place there, anyway."

"We'd have a place to practice as well, and it would be easier for me to fortify." Iri added.

"Look at that, 'Tia. It's two on one now."

"I…Okay. We'll start looking."

"Sweet!" I cheered. "Once that's done, we can start planning our wedding."

"Aw, you're getting married? How sweet. When did you propose?" The Servant asked.

"A week ago."

"Has it really only been a week? Man, times flies."

"Well I believe it's time for some sleep. Doctor Ragland said that you're to take it easy." Cynthia reminded me, and I had no complaints, except for the fact that 'Tia slept on my wounds.

 **Before anyone says anything, I am setting things up, and since the Fate series started as a game, it works.** 'That's sketchy as best. And why me?' **Reasons.** 'Reasons?' **Yup. Don't worry about it. I do want to apologize. We'll be getting back to story starting next chapter. Until then, peace.** 'Bye!'


	8. Finally! Progress! (I wish)

Chapter: Finally! Progress! (I wish)

 **I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I wanted to get real things done with this chapter, and I did to an extent, but this was supposed to have so much more.** 'There's nothing wrong with that.' **I know Monika, but I've been putting so much day to day stuff into the last few chapters that this story is becoming more slice of life.** 'Isn't that what you're plan was, to show the characters more?' **Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean I want chapter after chapter of stuff that people do in their everyday lives.** 'I get what you're saying. So…Should we get to the chapter?' **Yeah, let's get to the chapter.**

A week passed fairly quickly. Because of Gamindustri medicine, my wounds were fully healed by the time Ragland came to remove the stitches. The scars in my chest weren't nearly was thick as the original injuries, but Ragland told me that the scars weren't likely to fade. In that week that I was debilitated, we taught Monika and Caster about Gamindustri, like how levels and stuff worked. After having the Servant look over the book I found, she determined that it was a grimoire of some kind, though she couldn't tell specifically what the contents were. I asked the varying gods that hang out in my head, and it was a combination of Hecate and Lucifer who figured it out. I guess it was close enough to Enochian for him to be able to understand what it said, and Hecate taught me how to put them into practice. So far I only really know basic spells like minor healing and low level elemental stuff. The house shopping we agreed to do went surprisingly well. There were three places on the outskirts of Planeptune that we felt we'd like. The one I was partial towards also the most expensive. It has five bedrooms, two baths, a furnished basement, a small outdoor pool, and a patio. It was a dark brown with a brick red roof.

"Hm…" I hummed, nibbling on my breakfast.

"What is it, Dad?" Monika asked.

"Nothing, really. I just don't know what I'm going to do today. Iri is out with your mom getting real clothes for her. I'm pretty sure she finally gave because of the stink eye she was getting from 'Tia."

"Why would Mom do that?"

"Your dad's eyes like to wander and let's leave it at that."

"Oookay…" Monika said, obviously not sure how to continue. "Histoire did call yesterday, asking that we come to the Basilicom."

"She called? When? How did I miss that?"

"Mom told you."

"Damn concussions, fucking up my memory. When were we supposed to be there?"

"Just sometime this afternoon."

"Okay. Want to tag along?"

"Sure. She said she needed Iri, but I need the social activity. I can't stay in the house forever, as comfy as my bed is."

"Very true." A few hours later, Cynthia returned with a mortified look on her face. "What's wrong?"

"She…I'm so broke right now…"

"Now you know how I felt." I countered as Iri walked into the room. She looked very pleased with herself.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"As long as you understand. So, Histy called yesterday? I forgot and Monika reminded me. Did she say why?"

"No, though she made it clear that it was important."

"Oh, this'll be fun. Wanna head over?"

"Not yet. There's something more important to take care of." Cynthia removed a fairly large stack of papers from her bag. "These are the documents we have to fill out for the new house. I spent some time last night thinking, and the one you were looking at was the best for us when looking at the price, though I still don't care for the pool."

"What's wrong with the pool?"

"It looks so out of place." I couldn't help but chuckle before giving her a kiss.

"You're the best, you know that?"

"I do." She replied, smirking before returning my gesture.

"…Wait, that's a lot of paperwork."

"There's a lot of tax things that are going to change. Most of the pile is government filings like that. The first few are the ones for the house itself."

"We also hired movers while we were out." Iri added. "They even agreed to pack our boxes if we were out or had to move suddenly." During my processing of the information, Iri tapped me in my shoulder. "Steven, can we talk for a moment?"

"Sure, what's up?" I asked as we made our way into the study.

"I'm worried about Monika." She admitted. "She thrashes and mutters in her sleep, she wakes up in cold sweats and she'll stare at a mirror like there was a monster in it."

"Well, that's because to her, there is. Her. Monika has done some pretty twisted things, things that she regrets and will haunt her soul for a very long time." I paused, readying myself to tell our shared experience. "She used to be a character in a video game. She was a side character, but she became sentient and wasn't thrilled that the game didn't give her the chance to be happy. So, she took matters into her own hands, changing the code that dictated how her friends acted to make them dislikable and make them kill themselves. All that for a desperate bid to find love. And imagine what it was like for her when she found out that her beloved was a married man and a teen in a relationship."

"She'd have done all that for nothing."

"Precisely, which is why she needs someone there for her, especially when we can't be."

"I will gladly help my Master with what troubles her. Perhaps I can find her a boyfriend." Poor Monika. The giggling of the adult before me promised her nothing but a headache.

"I get the feeling that going that far won't be necessary. Just, be there for her, okay. Also you have my permission to get…touchy…with her if you feel like she needs it, even if she says no. Trust me, I know the value of a hug."

"I see. Very well then." The giggling from the woman just got much more mischievous. I'm so sorry, Monika, but this is for your own good. Also, I'm pretty sure dads are allowed to ship their daughters. Correct me if I'm wrong about that.

"So, is that everything?"

"Yup!"

"Time to start that paperwork, then." I sighed, not all that pleased that I've had to do so much signing in one week. The two of us only got halfway through before it was time to go.

"Hello, everyone." Histoire greeted. From how crowded the room was, the tiny fairy had gathered all the warriors. By that, I mean even Noire and Blanc were here.

"Hey Blanc, hey Noire. Why are you guys here?" Neptune asked.

"I don't know." Blanc replied. "Histoire called and asked me to come."

"Same. She never said why."

"It is because there are pressing concerns that involves all of your nations." The fairy explained. "There are reports of someone attacking factories that produce games. From the information gathered across all three nations, it is the same person."

"With our luck it's the Seven Sages. They like coming after us." Noire suggested. "Between that witch woman from a few years ago and that old man, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Don't forget the rat."

"Does he actually count?" Blanc asked me rhetorically.

"So, what's the plan?" Johnny asked.

"I want you to go to one of the few factories that haven't been attacked yet and apprehend them. If that is not possible, then you may deal with them appropriately." The fairly replied. "Because of the likelihood of missing the perpetrator if everyone went to the same location, I have created teams that should be effective when working together." On a whiteboard that I wasn't really sure where it came from, there was the Oracle's plan. The Lowee team was Blanc, Souji, and Cynthia, the Planeptune one had Neptune, Plutie and me, and the Lastation one had Noire, Johnny and Monika/Caster.

"So we get to stay home? Cool." Neptune commented. Those of us that had to head to the other nations left, and we went out to our location. As we walked, my phone buzzed. Opening it (had to get a flip because my smartphone didn't work) revealed a text from the Merchant. That was weird, given the fact that I never gave him my number. The message said that he had gotten what I asked him to and it was ready for me to pick up.

"Do you two mind if we make a quick pit stop? There's something I need to pick up."

"What is it? If it isn't important, we can't waste time on it. There is someone out there that's needs proper punishment." Plutie answered.

"A new toy, so to speak. Trust me, it'll be nothing but helpful."

"Well, it should be fine then. Where to?" Neptune asked.

"The Guild, actually. I placed an order with the Merchant. It should be on or way, though it's a longer route." When we entered the Guild, the Merchant was waiting with a glint in his red eyes.

"Hey there." He said, reaching into his coat for my request. "Here it is." In his hand was a dark grey metal cylinder that was about two feet long. There was two grooves that split it into thirds. The middle segment had three streamlined buttons built into it. Taking it from him, I pushed the middle one, and it extended into a staff. Pressing the button bellow that one retracted it. The top one, the one my index finger rested on, was different. It had an indentation and a dot, to signify that it was different from the other two. I pressed it, resulting in a satisfying bang. I was, however, surprised by the amount of force released by the ballistic function.

"Well hello there."

"Got a kick, don't it? Hehehe…Be glad it knows when you want to use those."

"Knows? Well, yeah. Here should be whatever it cost to get this thing." I replied, handing him a wad of cash.

"Pleasure doin' business with ya."

"Stevie, what was that?" Plutie asked.

"Yeah! Since when does a staff make gun noises?"

"Since it's got guns built into the ends that extend to make them shoot out like bullets. Hopefully this'll make up for the lack of a blade."

"Ooh…" The two said at the same time.

"Let's get going." I couldn't lie about having some pep in my step. This thing is so cool! The factory was about twenty minutes from the Guild. Besides the mobs that we had to mow throw that normally show up in places like this, it was rather peaceful. No traps or anything. Too bad it didn't last very long.

"Hahaha! Ah, all this destruction! If I can't copy it, it doesn't deserve to exist!" A loud, boisterous voice roared.

"That's what this is about? A pirate who can't get past encryptions?"

"Looks like it. Time to beat some bad guys!" Neptune cheered, transforming to take on the talking tank thing. Plutie followed suit.

"So, the CPUs are here, huh? Fine! More to destroy! I, Copypaste, will crush you!" Ow, my ears. Man this guy is loud. I have to admit, his simplemindedness is to be admired. He took a swing at us, and my brilliant mind thought that now would be a good idea to test the limits of my weapon. This would also create an opening for the others. Getting into a stable stance, I pulled the trigger, stopping his attack in its tracks.

"Huh. That worked." The flashes of movement and his roar of pain signaled that I succeeded.

"Thank you, Steven." Neptune said, getting into a ready stance. He let loose another yell of pain as Plutie let out some savage laughter. "Someone seems to be enjoying themselves."

"Yup, and don't worry about it. Hecate!" A golden light covered me before fading, revealing a pure white toga. A gold leaf crown rested on my head and my staff looked like the mark on my arm. "I'll cover the two of you, you hit it where I do."

"Why?"

"I'm gonna punch holes in that armor."

"I see. Fine, we'll follow your lead." The armor of this guy was thick, but nothing like some beams of magic to opening up the tin can

"Critical Edge!" Neptune yelled, swinging her large katana.

"Hahaha! This is incredible! I've never had a fight like this!" Great, we're only encouraging him. His swings and charges only became faster and hit harder. Neptune certainly found out as she was sent flying.

"God dammit…" I groaned, not being able to move out of her way. "Neptune, please get up. You're sitting on things I'm going to need in the future."

"Sorry." She replied, helping me up after getting herself off of my balls. "Better?"

"Much." Wait, I just got an idea. "Neptune, want to try something that has the potential to be awesome?"

"Do you have a plan?"

"More like a half-assed idea, but yeah. I'm going to start blasting him with everything I've got, and you do the same. Then, when I freeze him, you hit him with those swords of yours."

"You want to use a group skill."

"Ye."

"Do you want to include Plutie?"

"Hahaha! That's right, die like the dog you are!"

"And interrupt her fun? Nah, that would be mean." The skill appeared in the menu and it was called Purple Contract. We did just as I suggested. Neptune took the lead, letting loose a barrage of slashes once Plutie was out of the way. With once she moved, I hit him with multiple blasts of different elements, finishing with ice. Incased in the magic containment, Neptune used her thirty two-bit megablades to impale it. With that I snapped my fingers, detonating a magic seal underneath the Seven Sages member. I don't know how, but we managed to end up posing back to back.

"This amazingly strong body is broken! Noooo!" The machine yelled before exploding. Plutie stormed up to us before jamming a finger into my chest.

"How dare you create a team skill with Neppy before me!? Maybe I should punish you, because I couldn't finish with what was in front of me."

"T-There's no need for that…But, to be fair, you looked like you were having fun, giving fin the what-for, and didn't want to ruin it. Also, Histy would want the collateral damage to be as little as possible, so…team skill. Don't worry, we can come up with one later, okay?"

"Fine, but I want ice cream."

"Ice cream sounds good." Neptune agreed before she was surrounded by a pillar of light. When it died down, Neptune was still in HDD but…naked. "Kyah!" She squealed as I turned my back. "What's going on!?"

"How should we know?" I asked in return. "Here, take this." Still not facing her, I reached my arm back. In my hand was the duster Noire gave me. I kept it in my inventory in case it rained.

"We'll ask Histy about it when we get back." Plutie added. "Ice cream can wait." The walk back was the definition of the word awkward. Neptune was constantly adjusting the article of clothing that was much too large for her as the two of us fended off anyone trying to catch a peak at her.

"Welcome back-What is going on?" Histoire asked as I quickly shut the door.

"After we…dealt with…the one destroying our games, Neppy tried deactivating HDD and this happened." Plutie reported.

"I'm gonna call Ragland. He might not know much about CPUs specifically, but he's still a medical professional."

"And I shall perform a scan. Perhaps together we can figure out what is wrong with Neptune." Histoire stated.

"Come on, Neppy, something of mine should fit you." As the three headed towards the tallest one's room, I punched the speed dial I set up for the good doctor.

"Doctor Bradley Ragland, how can I help you?"

"Hey Ragland, it's me. We could really use a hand over here at Planeptune's Baslilicom. Something is going on with Neptune, and we don't know what."

"What is it, exactly?"

"She's stuck in her adult form, much like Plutia."

"I see…I'll get some equipment together. I'll be over within the hour."

"Thanks, Ragland, I owe you for this."

"Don't worry about it." It actually took him an hour and fifteen to get here. "Sorry about the delay. It was hard getting all of this down the streets." The older man had a cart containing various tests and equipment.

"It's fine. Histoire did her scan half an hour ago, but she'll be processing it for a while."

"I see. Where is my patient?"

"In her room with Plutie. I'll show you the way." Navigating the halls was second nature by now, so it didn't take long. "Neptune, Doctor Ragland is here." I said, knocking on her door.

"Okay." She said and I opened the door. The CPU looked worried, and rightfully so. We knew why this happened to Plutie, but this was random at best.

"Hello, Neptune. I'm going to do some routine tests as well as a basic physical, if that is alright with you."

"That's fine. I just want to know what's wrong." The physical exam didn't reveal anything out of the ordinary. The blood sample analyses, however, was a different story.

"Do you see that?" Ragland said, pointing at the screen. "Those are the percentages of hormones in her blood. This paper here shows the levels of those hormones in a normal female adult of her body type. See anything wrong?" He asked us.

"Her estrogen is really high." I noted.

"Yes. Estrogen can be affected by things like stress, cancer, pregnancy, and other illnesses." Ragland explained. "I'm going to do some more tests from here, but there is one that you can give her for her to do herself." He handed Plutie a stick. "Just have her follow the instructions and bring it back to me."

"Okay." Plutie said, taking it and walking off. Thankfully, nothing came up for things like cancer or diabetes. The last test, however…

"Miss Neptune, are you sexually active with your boyfriend?" Ragland asked, looking at his clipboard.

"Yes, I am."

"Well, I have good news. I know a likely reason as to why you're like this."

"And that is?"

"Congratulations, you're expecting."

"My scans confirm this." Histoire said, clearly done with being bad at being a computer. "It seems like your body has determined that this form is the one that is better suited to nurture your developing child."

"From my examination, you can't be more than four weeks along." Ragland commented.

"I…I'm pregnant…I need to call Souji!"

"Neptune, calm down. Breath." I said, placing my hands on her shoulders. "I already called him and let him know something was up. He's on his way with Blanc and Cynthia now."

"Thank you."

"Stevie?"

"No, Plutie, you can't have my debit card to go buy clothes for Neptune. You can have it to go get ice cream." Hey, I did promise.

"Be that way." She huffed playfully, taking the card and making her way out.

"Thank you, Doctor. If you'd like, I can send you the results of my scan as well as reports if any changes occur." Histoire said.

"That would be appreciated. I'd also like to schedule the regular checkups that are involved with a normal pregnancy. I'll call later to find times that work for both of us." With that, the doctor bid his farewell.

"Hey, Neptune? Can I be brutally honest with you for a sec?" I asked, seeing as how it was the two of us.

"What is it?"

"Out of everyone, I didn't expect you to be the first of us pregnant. Hell, I expected Plutie to be before you, and you know how she can be."

"Me neither. The one time we both wanted to try things naturally is the time that changed our lives."

"That's life for you."

"What are you going to do?" Histoire asked, reentering the room. "The Basilicom is no place to raise a child."

"I know a place not far from here that'll be available soon." I said. "Just got to finish some papers." Please take the hint, I made it obvious.

"I think all of this is something Souji and I have to talk about on our own."

"Understandable. So…Got another question for ya."

"Another?"

"Does the Basilicom's grand hall or whatever it is do weddings?"

"It does." Histoire answered, seeing as how Neptune's face said that she didn't know. "Why do you ask?"

"Because Cynthia and I are planning our wedding and we need a venue. I also thought that you could do the honors of marrying us, Neptune, seeing as how Plutie is probably going to be the Maid of Honor."

"Of course I will. That's what friends do." Neptune replied. "When will it be, so I know when to be free."

"No idea. We haven't actually started planning together, and I want a few surprises to make up for my rather lame proposal."

"Oh? What happened?" Histy asked.

"Well…um…the ring fell out of my pocket."

"That is pretty lame." Neptune joked with a giggle.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up." It didn't take long for Souji to come bursting through the door.

"Neptune!" He shouted, embracing his beloved. "What's going on?"

"…Souji, we're going to be parents."

"That means…that one time…"

"Yes." He sat down, clearly not ready for the news he's gotten. "I want to have a family with you, but I don't know if I'm ready. What if I don't make a-"

"You can stop right there." I interrupted. "No use worrying about the 'what ifs'. Somethings you have to throw logic to the curb and dive head first into something."

"Souji." Blanc said, entering the conversation. "I've know you longer than anyone here, even if it was only in passing. I know you can handle this."

"Histy?" Neptune asked. "What about me going home? Big Histy said that's a one way trip and it's only for one person."

"I will communicate with her to see if there is not a way to modify the process."

"Souji, would you…?"

"Neptune, I'd follow you to the end of the world."

"I think that's our cue to leave." Cynthia said, nudging my arm.

"Yeah. Let's let them have their moment. I'll just call the others to let them know to go straight home instead of interrupting them. I'll also have to call Plutie to have her drop my card off back home." After making the calls and walking for a few minutes.

"So, Neptune is going to marry us?"

"…I didn't hang up the phone, did I?"

"No. No you didn't."

"Fucking old ass flip phones…"

"You're so cute, planning things behind my back." God, I feel like a fool. **You are a fool.** Really, Orcus?

"Well, I really DO want to make it up to you."

"I know, but you need to relax. With how long we've been in the same place together, we might as well be married."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. So, what should we make for dinner?"

"I could go for pancakes."

"Pancakes are good. We could get some different things from the store to put in them while we're at it."

A few days passed after that, and we all decided to have a get together in Planeptune, because of all the times EVERYONE has been together, it's been to deal with some kind of conflict. Unfortunately, today seems like it won't be a normal day. Then again, what day IS normal in this weird world?

"Hey. What are the chances all of us would get here at the same time?" Neptune asked. "I just hope Plutie isn't mad that I stayed with Souji for a while."

"I think she understands that the two of you have a lot to talk about." Noire replied.

"I don't mind that you've been gone. It gave me time to actually hang out with her for once." Johnny commented. "Had a shit ton of fun, too, except for when she decided that I was taking her out to lunch."

"Wallet?" Cynthia asked.

"Wallet."

"You all have an interesting dynamic." Blanc commented.

"That we do, and now you're a part of it." Souji said to his nation's goddess.

"I don't think I count until we're actually friends. We're acquaintances at best at the moment."

"We can fix that right about…now." I said, opening the door. Instead of the setup of snacks and tea that I expected from Plutie, Monika, and Iri, we got…babies. Three adorable babies. You should know who they are.

"Hey, everyone." Plutie said, holding baby Iffy. Iri had Peashy and Monika had Compa.

"You see that, right? Because I see babies." Johnny said.

"I think we all see them." Blanc replied.

"Plutia, what are babies doing here?" Noire asked.

"And I thought I was the only pregnant one. How long ago did this happen? How did we miss all three of them? Who are the fathers…?" Neptune proceeded to ask herself those kinds of questions under her breath until Souji snapped her out of it.

"Allow me to explain." Iri said. "Because of all the children going missing, the Basilicom is acting like a daycare for cuties like these three."

"This is where you two have been going…" Cynthia said, realization dawning on her face.

"Yup! We've been getting paid for this, too." Monika added. "Would you like to hold her?" She asked me.

"Sure." Why wouldn't I? We spent, as a group, many hours playing with and taking care of the little rascals. For something so small, they could disappear real quick. Hell, Johnny did exponentially better than I thought he would. So, good group bonding time.

"Everyone, please listen to me!" The tiny fairy shouted out of nowhere. "Someone has sent out what can only be considered a declaration of war to all three of your nations!" Noire visibly paled when she heard that, which got my thinking gears a grinding. I know that she was talking with Vert in Lowee and…Oh…Oh my…Wasn't expecting that.

"Noire, a moment, please?" I asked, passing baby Iffy to Iri.

"Um…Sure?" The two of us made our way away from everyone. "What is it?" She huffed, crossing her arms.

"You know exactly what's going on, don't you? I didn't think you'd be so buddy-buddy with another CPU that isn't Plutie."

"I didn't know she was one at first, and who I'm friends with is none of your business."

"It is when my friends and family are at risk, Noire." I retorted. "Why don't you try talking things out with her? Maybe we can keep a fight from breaking out."

"Yeah, hopefully." There was a loud thud that couldn't have NOT come from where the others were. "I don't like the sound of that."

"Ne neither." Heading out we saw Blanc caught in quite the compromising position with Nepgear on top of her. "Today is just full of surprises."

"You're telling us." Johnny said, clearly amused.

"Hey, Noire?" I whispered.

"What?" Okay, she's getting angry.

"Since Lowee, have you met her face to face?"

"No. We've talked about it, but that was before we learned that the other was a CPU."

"You know, it's not polite to keep secrets." That's angry Ploots. I guess with everything today, she's in the right to be.

"It's nothing, really." I hand-waved.

"I see." She replied, eyes narrowing. "Before Neppy Jr. showed up, we were talking about leaving to take on the CPU of Leanbox. She needs to be taught a lesson for threatening my people."

"Okay then. Is everyone going?" Noire asked.

"We CPUs are. Everyone else can do as they please. All I know is that I'm going to put that arrogant CPU in her place!" Wow, Ploots is salty about Vert.

"I better go. You need a mediator." Cynthia volunteered.

"What about me?" Nepgear asked.

"Nep Jr., you should stay here. Until we find a CPU Memory for you, you're human."

"I've got something I've got to do in town, so I'm out." Johnny said.

"Lady Blanc, if I may, I'm going to begin the assignment you gave me for tomorrow."

"Okay, but take it easy. I gave you today off for a reason."

"I will." With him gone, that left me.

"I can house sit. I'll probably get in the way in a fight between CPUs. I can finish off the paperwork for the house."

"If that's your choice. Come on, everyone." The five transformed and left.

"Steven, if I may ask you a question."

"What's up, Histy?"

"You seem perfectly content to live a civilian's life."

"Well, I am. I also wanted to go with them, but there is such a thing as too many cooks in the kitchen, and they can handle themselves fine. Probably better than I can, seeing as how I'm the only one with scars."

"So, you don't think that you'd be helping them?" Iri asked.

"I said that earlier. I'm just a guy, not a demonic badass or anything. As is, even with my contracts, I'm just not strong enough to walk into a fight like they can. My abilities help, but as soon as I take too much damage using them, I'm really out of luck. Jeez, I'm like a glass cannon."

"Dad, I've seen you in a fight. I doubt you wouldn't be helpful."

"Thanks, Monika, but there is a serious difference between fighting monsters and people. Remember, I'm not a hero. Dante is a hero. Iri is a hero. I've just had everything I can do thrust upon me."

"But didn't you work for most of them?" Nepgear asked. Histy must've got her up to speed. _She has a point. I did not lend you my strength without proof that you could not handle it._ Artemis added.

"Up, up!" Peashy yelled, crawling towards me.

"Alright, munchkin." Between the work for the house and the kids, it grew late by the time the group got home. Johnny, about an hour before that, came back with a bunch of bags with no labels on them. "So, how'd it go?"

"I have the Memory for Neptune's sister." Oh, that's a Vert.

"That'll have to wait for later, though. She fell asleep with the kids half an hour ago." Caster said. "Monika joined them a few minutes ago."

"Did you know about these two?" Blanc asked.

"Know about what?" I asked in return.

"Stevie, if you were lying to me before, you'll be facing my harshest punishment."

"Plutie, I can promise you that I don't know what you're talking about. What is it that I supposedly know?"

"That Noire and Vert were a couple." Neptune answered. Wat?

"I had an idea, given that Noire told me they were talking. So, how did this come to light?"

"I…Um…"

"We were just about to start fighting when she took the initiative and kissed me."

"None of us were ready for it." Cynthia said. "It was pretty cute though. A love trumps all story."

"I wish I was there for that." Iri commented. "It sounds adorable."

"Please stop." Noire said, turning red. Vert did too, but not nearly to the same degree.

"'Tia, I got the papers done and gave them to Histoire. We can move at any time."

"Move?" Vert asked.

"Yup! The place we're at is too small for all of us." Iri explained.

"I see."

"So, what now?" Johnny asked. "'Night's young, almost everyone is here, and I've got booze."

"I could go for some pizza. We can have it delivered and wake those two up later." I suggested.

"That works." Blanc commented. Histoire was kind enough to place the call and we sat down and chatted. Noire and Vert were practically joined at the hip as they sat on the loveseat. Neptune was just kind of chilling on the floor. Blanc was sitting on the couch between Cynthia and I. A little bit of a cock block, but that's fine.

"Hey, Blanc? What job did you give Souji, anyway?" I couldn't help but ask. It's been on my mind for a while now.

"I made him my secretary. He's been much more reliable than that fat bastard. It also makes it easier for you to find the information you need for your explorations."

"I heard that your Minister was a member of the Seven Sages, but I didn't think that it was true."

"Oh, don't start with me! You got played by a kiss!"

"I did not!"

"You kind of did." Cynthia said. "Once Noire did that, you were putty in her hands. Even Steve isn't that bad."

"Hey!"

"How come we have to be rivals? This is much more fun." Plutie lamented, taking a sip from a beer that Johnny handed her earlier.

"Just do both." Johnny suggested. "Nothing saying you can't. Friendly competition and all that."

"He's got a point." As Neptune spoke, there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it!" Caster cheered, money in hand. The rest of the night was pretty fun. Blanc and Vert's arguing became what you'd expect, Nepgear used her CPU Memory, and Iri got really drunk. Why Johnny gave her hard liquor, I'll never know.

"Come on, Master…Just once…" The Heroic Spirit slurred.

"Iri, I'm not kissing you!"

"Please?"

"A drunken puppy dog face. That's new." Cynthia said.

"Should we stop them?" Nepgear asked, having taken a seat next to Blanc instead of her sister. "I don't think this is appropriate."

"It's fine." I said. "She gets like this sometimes. She's kind of childish normally, so this should work itself out." I leaned over to Cynthia. "No matter what Iri said, this was not my idea."

"Hey, G1!"

"What's up?"

"When's the next trip?"

"Don't know. Could be a few days, could be years. Crack open an old book and get looking."

"Trip? What are you talking about?" Vert asked.

"We're…explorers, if you will." I explained.

"We research into ancient temples and, well, be archeologists." Cynthia added.

"What do they look like?" Did we catch her attention? Neat.

"Stone, weird carvings, traps…" Johnny listed off.

"Weathered and covered in overgrowth?" Vert finished.

"…Yeah…"

"I've come across one before. I left it alone because there was no discernable entrance."

"I think I've seen something like that back in our Gamindustri." Nepgear added.

"When was that?" Neptune asked.

"I was out with Uni. "She replied. "I told Histoire about it, but she said not to worry about it."

"I-Irisviel, I said st-!" Monika's protests were silenced by Iri getting her way, and slowly turned to a light moan.

"Better?" Iri asked with a tender smile, drunkenness clearly either gone or an act.

"Um…"

"Hehe…Monika dot EXE has stopped running…" I chuckled.

"Really?"

"Don't judge me like you don't make shitty jokes too, Johnny."

"I believe that's enough of that." Histoire stated. "It is late, and you should go home, lest you wake the children." Those who didn't live in the tall building left for home, calling it a night.

 **Yay! The thing's done! Now to play the game to actually get to this point. Oh, this'll be fun.** 'Did…Did you just ship me?' **Maaaybe…** 'Why!?' **I have my reasons. Don't worry about it. SO…until next time, peace.**


	9. Build those Social Links!

Chapter 9: Build those Social Links!

 **Hey. So, I got a thing done.** 'After you decided to do another chapter with Tehg.' **Ssh…They're not supposed to know about that. It was meant to be a surprise.** 'Oh, well there hasn't been much of me, so I'm a bit annoyed.' **About that…next time?** 'Steven…What did you do?' **It's not what I did, but what I didn't do. Now, before she retorts, on with the show!** 'Hey, what are you-!'

Seeing as how the timeline is off, and it'd be a week before anything happened, I figured I'd go and hang out with people I don't normally get the opportunity to. A good place to start would probably be Lowee. Blanc and Souji have been really busy trying to fix everything Mr. Badd fucked up.

"Going somewhere?" Cynthia asked as I pulled up my extra-long glove. I started wearing it seeing as how it'll hide all my contract symbols.

"Yeah. I wanted to go see if Blanc and Souji were free. We've never really hung out, and they could use a break. I've got to leave now because I can't fly like everyone else we know."

"Johnny can't fly."

"Oh, you know exactly what I mean."

"I can take you, you know? All you have to do is ask."

"I know, but I don't mind the walk and you're probably busy with things too. I wouldn't want to bother you."

"Steven, do you want to go to Lowee?"

"Yes, please." Her face grew a gentle smile.

"Give me a few minutes to go get changed and we can leave." And wait I did, seeing as how she was in mothing but a nightgown. Because plans changed, I put on my duster. Cynthia came back from our room in a long red t-shirt and black tights. "Ready?" She asked, pulling on some red heels.

"Heels? In Lowee?"

"I'll be fine and you know it." She replied putting on a large red furred coat.

"Well excuse me for worrying. I don't want you hurting yourself if one of them broke." Iri and Monika were at their job babysitting, so we had to lock the door as we left. With a burst of flame, Cynthia activated her DGU form. After that, she wrapped her arms around me and took off.

"So…what have you been doing in the woods every night since our exploration of Hecate's temple?" Ah, fuck. I'm busted.

"Training, mostly, but I've been trying to see if I can't forcibly start the twenty-four hour timer. I can do it, but I don't think the area around me cares for the resulting explosion. Magic has also been taking some getting used to." All she did was shake her head. I could tell because the bits of silver hair that hung in front of my face shifted.

"You didn't think to ask anyone for help? You could've hurt yourself."

"I'm fragile, but I'm not THAT fragile. Honestly, that's why I've been doing it. I don't want you guys having to worry about me all the time." I said, telling her about something I've already voiced to her before several times.

"You can be such a hypocrite sometimes. Is hanging out the only thing you wanted to go to Lowee for?"

"No. Lowee is home to all kinds of magic. I was going to ask Souji for help and maybe ask Blanc if I could borrow a book or two. The one we found is a bit too complex for me right now."

"Ah, okay. That makes sense." It didn't take much longer for us to land by the Basilicom. "See how much quicker that was?"

"Obviously. Ready to head in?"

"Whenever you are."

"I'm the one that wanted to come, after all. How come you aren't heading home?"

"I don't have any plans today, and I needed an excuse. You're closer to Blanc than I am, so it makes more sense if you showed up, and Souji is…Souji."

"He does need to lighten up." I agreed. "Hopefully this'll help." Entering the building, we were stopped by the Basilicom desk worker.

"How may I help you?" She asked.

"We're here to see Souji and Blanc." 'Tia answered.

"I see…I'll let them know." She sounded skeptical, but did it anyway. Picking up a phone, she spoke into it quietly. After a few minutes, she hung it up and turned towards us. "They said that you may enter." Seeing as how we've been here before, it wasn't hard to make our way around.

"Hello." Blanc greeted as we entered her room/office thing. It was the same Japanese style that the entire Basilicom had, and had multiple games and bookshelves neatly set up around the room.

"Hey, Blanc. How are you?" I asked.

"Fine. I wasn't expecting the two of you."

"Surprise visits are the most fun." Cynthia responded. "Where's the stick in the mud that we know as Souji?"

"After he heard your descriptions, he went to the library. He said something about finding books on magic."

"He knows you too well, babe."

"It has been a long time since we met, and I know I've said that I'm jealous of his magic."

"What brings you over?" Blanc asked, probably curious on why we decided to visit.

"Just to hang out, really. With how hectic everything has been lately, we haven't had the chance." 'Tia explained.

"I see. Okay, we can do something for a while. We need a break, and a new party game came out recently, if you're willing to try it." The CPU suggested.

"I'm down." I replied, coping a squat on one of those soft pillow things.

"Sounds like fun. It'll be a change from the shooters and platformers that we normally play." Cynthia agreed. By the time the game was set up and ready to go, Souji walked in with five books under his arms.

"Hello Steven, Cynthia. How are you two doing today?"

"Good. Was waiting on you so we could start the game." I said, tossing him the wired controller.

"I'll trade you." He countered, handing me his stack of books. "These are basic and mid-level spells. There is also one about magic theory, and should be useful to you."

"Thanks, Souji, I appreciate it. Can I come to you if I have any questions?"

"Of course."

"Cool. Now, however, is the time to sit back, relax, and kick the shit out of each other in mini-games." After several hours of smack talk, laughing and Blanc having to fetch new controllers, we went out to that ramen place for lunch.

"Neptune told us you two are getting married." Souji stated.

"We are, though we're still planning." Cynthia said.

"Can I see your ring?" Blanc asked.

"Of course." She extended her left hand to the short CPU, allowing her to examine it.

"It's beautiful."

"Truly it is." Souji added, agreeing with his employer.

"Thank you."

"I wish someone would give me a ring like this." Blanc lamented, melancholy in her voice.

"You'll find someone. If I can, then you can too." I said, patting her on the shoulder.

"Are you sure? I'm not exactly…womanly…" Ah, that's what this is about. Makes sense, now that I think about it.

"You're fine. I believe in you." I replied.

"I agree. There are plenty of people that would be honored to be with you." Souji stated.

"Your orders." The shop keep said, handing us our bowls. I looked down to mine and saw that it had a fork in it, just like the last time.

"What else is there to do around here in Lowee? We haven't had the chance to go venturing." Cynthia asked.

"We can show you." Blanc suggested. "I don't go out much for something like that, but there are a few places I know."

"Sounds good. But first, lunch." After we finished our meals, we found out that Blanc would make a really good tour guide if she weren't a CPU. Hell, I'm pretty sure she was severally underestimating just how many places she knew about. There were a bunch of different restaurants and parks, and the Grand Library.

"And this is the Grand Library of Lowee. It has books in it that even the Basilicom cannot get a hold of." Blanc said, beaming with pride. "Research shows that the only place with more information is with the pages of Planeptune's Oracle."

"That's a lot of info." I mutter. The building was huge, and the information must've been just as vast. "I bet there's a lot of old history buried in there somewhere."

"There is. This is where I went whenever I did research for our explorations."

"Yeah, that makes sense. So, what are you and Neptune going to do?" I had to know. It was a tragic story that Shakespeare would be mad that he didn't write it.

"When the Histoire from her dimension opens the portal, I will be going with her."

"Aw…" Cynthia cooed. "So dedicated." While she fawned over the relationship, and he got all embarrassed, I leaned over to Blanc.

"Hey Blanc?"

"Yes?"

"What's up with you and Nepgear?"

"It's nothing."

"You can tell us. We won't say anything, and I really can't judge, now can I?"

"I said it's nothing!" The CPU shouted. "I…I need to go."

"Steven, what did you say to her?" Cynthia asked, and I shrugged.

"I believe it would be unwise to return to the Basilicom. Lady Blanc may surely become violent if you do." Souji said.

"Well, it was nice while it lasted. Maybe we can do this again sometime. It's nice seeing you outside of work and being so casual." Cynthia said, giving the man a hug.

"I will talk to Lady Blanc about it once she's calmed down."

"Seeya later, Souji." I said. With a repeat performance of before we came here, we left.

"So, she absolutely likes Nepgear." Cynthia stated as we flew.

"You heard that?"

"Steven…"

"Right. Stupid question. But yeah, without a doubt, and I'm pretty sure Nepgear likes her too. She gravitated towards her instead of her sister with no hesitation the other day."

"You know, it's funny." Cynthia chuckled. "You can spot the romance between other people no problem, but you were completely oblivious to my love for you."

"There's no need to point that out, 'Tia, and to be fair, for that month that we knew each other I was unconscious for most of it."

"I know, but it's fun to see you all embarrassed."

"We've still got time before the day is over. Is there anyone else you want to hit up?"

"Well, Noire's out. There's no way she isn't still working. Vert is…well, Vert's room scares me, and everyone else is busy with the children."

"With so many people there now, they can spare someone." I stated.

"True…Nepgear could use a trip outside for once."

"Making the call from up here isn't the best idea, given my track record. Maybe when we land."

"If we're landing, it's probably going to be at the Basilicom." As the passenger, I had no reason to argue against the pilot.

"Alright. We'll just pop right in." After the fifteen or so minute flight, we landed on the conveniently placed balcony. "Hey, we're taking Nepgear, bye." I said, grabbing said girl by the wrist and dragging her out the door.

"Have her back before midnight!" Neptune called out before we left, yet didn't sound very concerned. She was feeding Peashy, so…

"Do be sure to have a good time with her." I heard Plutie say from the other side of the door. "She's quite shy and could use some…experience."

"Plutia, it's nothing like that and you know it." Cynthia sighed, clearly not amused by her innuendo.

"I know, but teasing people is so much fun."

"Please let go." Nepgear asked. I did so, and we left for the house.

"Pardon the mess. We're moving tomorrow." Cynthia said to the girl.

"It's okay. I lived with Neptune for most of my life, so I'm used to it. Why did you invite me here?"

"Felt like you could use a break from being at the Basilicom. Plutie called and said you were already acting like a shut-in." I explained. "So, I figured we'd get you out of the house. There's still a bit to do around here, even though we're packing." After a minute of contemplation, it seemed like she made up her mind.

"Can I see some of the things you have found in the temples?"

"Of course. Here, we keep them in the study." Cynthia exclaimed, leading the girl by the hand.

"Wow!" The girl cried, eyes sparkling at the various trophies that we had kept. "This is incredible! So much history…"

"I thought you were a tech nerd?" I asked, honestly surprised by her enthusiasm.

"Without things like this, the technology we know today wouldn't exist."

"That's fair." She asked about various things as she poked around, and we were more than happy to share the stories about how we got them, or explain how the more intact ones used to work.

"Can I take these home with me?" Nepgear asked, carrying an armful of random pieces. "I have an idea about these."

"I don't have a problem with it." 'Tia said.

"Thank you so much! I'll get them back to you as soon as I'm done." Ancient stuff in hand, Nepgear bolted out the door. Not an hour later Iri and Monika came home and we exchanged how our days went. After dinner we finished packing that we could, leaving out things like toothbrushes and pillows.

"Steven, wake up, it's time to get moving."

"…*groan* Five more minutes…"

"We have to finish packing. It's either that, or you get packed in a box."

"You drive a hard bargain." I get up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "Is everyone else up?"

"No, I decided to let those two sleep. They look so cute together."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Come on and look for yourself." Entering the room that my adopted daughter and her Servant shared, well, pictures where taken by the unpacked camera of the two snuggled up with each other. "Put that away, the flash might wake them."

"We have to get them now, before the movers get here." Deciding to wake them, I found it funny how much hair I had to move just to get to one of their shoulders so I could shake it. Doing so got me the same response I gave just a few minutes ago. Multiple tries yielded the same result, and Iri might as well have been a corpse.

"'Tia, it's time for drastic measures."

"I'm NOT dumping water on them and ruining the matress."

"I don't need water, just two ice cubes."

"No. Absolutely not. Don't you dare!"

"It'd work."

"…" After our stare down, she sighed, leaving the room. With a twisted smile, I carefully removed their blanket. "I hope you get what you deserve for this."

"Oh, I will, but you fail to realize that I find enjoyment not through acts, but through reactions." Taking the two chucks of frozen water in hand, I very gentle front of their pajama pants before dropping them in. The startled jumps and squeal/scream was so satisfying that I couldn't keep myself from falling over in laughter.

"D-Dad!?"

"Steven…" Oh, I don't like the tone of voice Caster is using. "Not only was that rude, but it was incredibly indecent." I looked up from my fit of laughter to see several large birds.

"Please don't. I tried shaking you both awake, but you wouldn't budge." The Heroic Servant was having none of it, if her look and subtle attempts to shake the cold solid out of her pants was anything to go by.

"Let's save the maiming for later. We have to finish packing." The claw marks on my back were proof that Iri wasn't going to let it go that easily. The packing, which happened after a premade breakfast we got last night, took half an hour. Moving was not the experience I thought it would be, from all the stories I've heard in my life. The movers were awesome, taking great care to get everything in and out of the truck. They were even nice enough to help us set up larger pieces of furniture like the kitchen table. As I unpacked one of the boxes in our new bedroom, I felt something soft and warm settle itself on my shoulders. Turning my head revealed that it was a Calico cat…Okay then…

"Hey Dad…? That's a cat."

"Yeah. What's up?"

"We don't own a cat."

"I'm aware. So, what do you need?" Is the cat really more important than whatever you came to me for?

"*sigh* Mom! We own a cat now!"

"What do you mean we have a cat…How?" Cynthia started, asking her question as she entered the doorway.

"I don't know. I was emptying this out and then…cat."

"Can we keep it?" Monika asked, taking the Calico into her hands. Once I was free of the fuzz burden, I started looking around the room, and saw something out of place.

"We should see if it has an owner first."

"It probably doesn't, because I think it was hanging out in that vent." I said, pointing at the grate that was on the ground.

"…Let's finish unpacking, then we'll talk about the cat."

"We're keeping the cat." I whispered to Monika as her mother left. I also took the opportunity to return the cat to where it wanted to be when it made itself known.

"Yes!" She cheered, fist pumping the air. The unpacking took most of the day, and that was really left to do was get new groceries and talk about the cat, who was currently resting on Iri's lap.

"She is really cute." Cynthia said, looking at the ball of fur.

"A little on the thin side, so she hasn't been a stray for long." With that one line, I pulled a folded up piece of paper from my pocket.

"This is everything we're going to need to take care of a cat. We can get most, if not everything, from the grocery store."

"How did-?"

"For as long as I can remember, I've owned a cat. I know this stuff like the back of my hand."

"Come here, Sayori." Monika cooed. Surprisingly, the cat responded, making itself comfortable. "H-Hey…"

"Hehe…Tiny kitty on a titty…" Ah, memes. Sometimes I'm glad you exist. Only sometimes.

"As comfortable as the cat…er…Sayori, is, we need every hand we can to buy everything we need." Cynthia stated. Sayori wasn't happy being removed from her pillows, but was content to lay on the throw pillow. With the unexpected additions to our list, it took five hours, and that's not counting the break we took for dinner at a nearby diner. There were other options, nicer options, but I'll never give up my love for the little family run places. So, bags in hand, we walked in the door. Have you ever been scaled like a mountain by a cat? No? Well, I hadn't either until Sayori decided to change that, and learned that it was a painful experience.

"Of course. Leave it to a cat to make a simple task harder." I grumbled. Surprisingly, she stayed on my shoulders even as we went outside to get more bags. "This cat is the best." I stated, proud of the bundle of warmth.

"You and that cat are going to drive me insane." Cynthia chuckled.

"I think she's adorable. I wonder if she'll do that with anyone else." Iri pondered.

"'Sup, sluts? What's with the cat?" Johnny asked, just coming in without knocking. I guess he came with Plutie. She did say she wanted to visit once we were all moved in.

"We're still bringing in groceries. Would you like to help?" Monika asked.

"Hell n- Yes." His protest was cut off by Plutie jamming an elbow into his ribs. In her hands was a fairly large brown box. With the two extra sets of hands, the process became that much quicker.

"Nice place." Johnny commented as we all settled down.

"It's really cozy. I'll let Neppy know that he apartment is free." Without a word, she set the box on the coffee table in the living room. Very hesitantly I opened said box. Inside was small plushies like the kind that she normally makes. There were ones for me, Cynthia, Plutie, Iri, Monika, and Tehg. She must've gotten details about him from 'Tia. The detail was impressive, given the fact that 'Tia and I had rings on ours.

"Thanks, Plutie. I'll have to find somewhere where people can see them but can't get them dirty." I said, setting them together on the coffee table before taking care of the box. We all sat around and talked for a while before it got late enough to call it a day. I laid down, curling up with Cynthia and closed my eyes. Not a moment later I felt a heavy softness settle itself on my face before it started to purr. "God dammit Sayori."

"Any plans for today?" Cynthia asked as I hashed out breakfast.

"I was thinking about seeing Dante today. If anyone can teach me how to use an outlandish weapon, it'd be him."

"True, and that works out well for me too. I wanted to go have a girl's day out with all of us."

"Cool. They need to get out more often, and getting together really is something we've got to do more often."

"Do you mean Monika and Iri, or the babies?"

"Yes." Before our conversation could continue any further, there was a frantic knock on the door. "Did you have anyone coming by?"

"No. We were going to meet somewhere else." Shrugging, I walked over and opened the door to reveal a panting, sweaty Nepgear.

"Ha…ha…Hi…"

"Nepgear, why are you here, let alone with how exhausted you look?" I asked the girl as I let her in. I moved into the kitchen, filling a glass with water. "Here, drink this."

"Thank you." After consuming the drink, she answered my previous question. "Remember those pieces I took home with me the other day? Well. With Uni's help I was able to make them into something." From her inventory she retrieved what could only be described as a hand cannon. The entire gun was the length of my elbow to the tip of my middle finger, with the chamber being about two inches long. Its design was the futuristic look that Planeptune was known for. It was white and had purple sections that were glowing with a light from within the gun. There was a button on the grip that deployed a holographic sight when pressed.

"Holy Hell…That's a gun." Taking the gun from her was…an experience. I didn't expect the absurd weight of it and almost dropped it.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I forgot you weren't as strong as a CPU."

"Don't worry, he's fine." 'Tia said, reassuring the girl. "He's been through worse than some muscle strain."

"I have. It sucked."

"Oh, okay." After a few minutes of silence, Cynthia spoke up.

"Shall we get going? It's not often we all of us girls get a free day."

"Of course!" The two girls left, leaving me alone with the behemoth projectile weapon and my loving cat.

"I should give Ragland a heads up. There's no way this isn't gonna fuck me up, and he appreciates it when I left him know when I'm doing something stupid." After letting the good doctor know that I'll be in today, I went to the run down shack that the red coated Devil Hunter called home. On my way there, I bumped into a familiar face.

"G1." Johnny greeted with a nod.

"Johnny." I replied, returning the gesture. "Where are you heading?"

"I heard there was a swordsman around here. Kinda wanted to stop bullshitting and get some real sword skills under my belt."

"Ah, you heard about Dante. I'm going over there now, if you want to tag along. I got a fancy staff I need to learn how to use."

"How fancy?"

"It's got a gun built into each end."

"Really? Why?"

"Unlike almost everyone else, I don't have a sharp pointy thing. I need something to do some real damage."

"Sure, sure." It didn't take long for me to lead Johnny to Dante's place. "This place looks like shit."

"Yeah, but it works." I opened the door and saw the white haired man sleeping at his desk. "Wake up, old timer. You can sleep when you're dead."

"Hey, kid. You brought a friend." He greeted.

"Yeah, this is Johnny. I've mentioned him before."

"Cursed sword guy, right?" Dante asked and Johnny nodded. "Alright. I'm guessing you want to learn how to use the thing?"

"More or less. Improvising is only going to get me so far."

"I'm here for pretty much the same reason." I commented, extending my staff to its full length.

"So that's what trench coat wanted me to use Lucifer for." Dante mused to himself. "Okay, kiddies, let's rock!" With a throw of one of his guns, the jukebox began playing his preferred heavy rock. For hours, the two of us fought and learned the more experienced fighter. Dante was more willing to help me the last time I came for serious training, and we even made a seemingly new style that I could use. It involved combining the defensive nature of hitting weak points with the offensive nature of using different parts of my body to pivot the staff and keep its momentum. Johnny picked up on the swordsmanship that Dante threw at him real quick, even reaching the point where he could switch between the two forms of his sword without a delay.

"You two are picking this u quick, but you should head home. I can't push you as far as I'd push myself."

"Sounds good. Seeya." Johnny said, leaving.

"Sticking around?"

"Yeah. Nepgear came by with a gun that she built from some stuff we had found over the years."

"And you want to give it a whirl. You do remember what happened the last time you shot a gun you've never used before, right?" Dante asked with a smirk.

"I've given Ragland the heads up like he wanted." With that, I drew the gargantuan pistol. "Target please." With a chuckle as he shook his head, the veteran pulled out Cerberus and slammed it into the ground on the other side of the room. From the impact rose a large pillar of ice created by the demonic weapon.

"Go nuts. I'll be right here for when things go bad." Leveling the weapon and activating the sight, I made the same mistake I did the first time with my Colt. I tried shooting it one-handed. So, with everything lined up, I pulled the trigger. Now, I've broken bones before, so when the bones in my forearm snapped, it wasn't as painful as it used to be. The result of this experiment was the shattering of a pillar of ice, my left wrist, radius, and ulna.

"Yup! Need to go to Ragland!" I shouted.

"Hahaha! Man, that's one hell of a gun. I'll have to hit this chick up, see if she can't get me one." After he was done laughing, he hefted my over his shoulder and moved. After just a few minutes, we were in front of the doctor's clinic. "So, this is the guy?" Dante asked as Ragland helped settle me onto a table. "Doesn't look like much."

"I don't have to look like anything in order to do my job right." Ragland countered. "How bad is it this time, Steven?"

"Wrist and both bones in the forearm."

"You really know how to do a number on yourself."

"Not my fault that Nepgear gave me what was essentially a compact sniper rifle."

"Give me the arm. I need to take an x-ray. Do you need anything for this?"

"I should be good."

"Gotta get back to the shop. Come on by when you're all patched up, and we can give it another shot."

"Probably. See you then, Dante." It took several hours for Ragland to deal with the broken bones. He even had to knock me out to do it. And, as per my luck, I found myself in a three-quarter arm cast once more. "God dammit, not one of these again."

"You did it to yourself. Here." Ragland said, handing me a piece of paper. "This is a prescription for a stronger dose than usual for the accelerated regeneration pills. That means the side effects will be worse. Also, nothing involving that arm until a week after the last pill is gone, to be safe."

"I don't think that the side effects will be a problem. 'Tia likes making big meals. How long am I down for?"

"A total of three weeks."

"Not as long as last time. Small blessings, I guess. See you later, Ragland." After going to the pharmacy to get my prescription, I went home. I turned the doorknob and found that it was unlocked. "Hey, I'm home!"

"Welcome ba- What did you do this time?" Cynthia sounded cheerful, but became serious after looking at my arm in a sling.

"Nepgear's gun. I might as well have shot a fifty cal."

"That girl…Why didn't you think about using it like a normal person?"

"Habit, mostly. By the way, Ragland gave me a stronger version of the goods, so I hope you're up for some heavy duty cooking."

"Fine, but you owe me."

"As soon as I get my arm back." As we entered the living room I was assaulted by similar questions from Monika and Iri."

"I could use my Noble Phantasm to heal you." The Caster suggested.

"There's no need for that. Noble Phantasms are meant for more important things."

"*sigh*…If you insist. At least let me heal it a little." She demanded, placing her hands on the cast. The room gained a light green hue as she worked her magic. "There, at least you won't have to worry about them shifting."

"Thanks."

"Hey Monika, would you like to help me make dinner tonight?"

"I'd love to! There's been a recipe I've been meaning to try." The excited girl raced to the kitchen full tilt.

"Slow down, Monika, or you'll trip like last time." Iri teased.

"Man, she can be real excitable when she wants to be." I muttered. "Hey, Iri, got a question for you"

"What is it?"

"Has Monika done any poetry?"

"She has, though not much, and the poems she has written are short and simple."

"Well, she's writing them, that's good. That means that she's at least starting to get over all of that."

"She hasn't been having nightmares nearly as much either."

"You're good for her."

"Are you giving me your blessing?" Iri giggled.

"Are you asking for it?"

"Not yet. It hasn't been long enough for something like that." The rest of the night went by uneventfully. The recipe she wanted to try was for lasagna, so we didn't have to worry about having to make a vegetarian version.

Because of my injury, I decided that it would be a good idea to not head anywhere for a few days, instead helping Monika and Iri babysit.

"You're going to be a good dad." Monika said as I held Compa. "You've been fine for me, but you're different with babies."

"Well yeah, you can't be doing things the same around them, because you have to be a positive influence."

"Well put." Histoire said. "It would be nice if Neptune would do what you said. She may have gotten better after her condition arose, but she still has some terrible habits. With her and Souji moved into the apartment you used to live in, Plutia settled into her role as the children's mother."

"That sounds about right. Speaking of, where is she?"

"Plutia said she wanted to go out and get to know her people better." Monika replied.

"Oh, cool. Hopefully nothing will show up in the paper." Something did, but not what I expected. Actually, the story written about the whole thing was honestly really cute. It even starred a picture of her pushing a little boy on a swing with both of them smiling.

With my recovery well on its way, I decided to head over to Leanbox while Cynthia slept so I wouldn't worry her…as much. The boat that I took got me there around early afternoon.

"Now, where would she be?" I asked myself.

"Who are you looking for?"

"Hey, Noire. I was planning on visiting Vert, but I've never been to Leanbox before."

"You picked a bad day. Vert and I are going out on a date."

"Oh…Damn. Well, at least I get to explore the city."

"What happened to you this time?" Vert asked from behind me.

"New gun." I replied, turning to her. "How do you know this isn't the first time?"

"Noire has shared some stories she's gathered from everyone. May I ask why you're here?"

"A few reasons. I don't know you very well, I don't know Leanbox very well, and you did say you've ran into a temple." I explained. "I would've come sooner, but…"I waved the plastered arm around to prove my point.

"I see. That's reasonable enough."

"I can do some of that later, though. You two are busy."

"We didn't really have anything planned outside of getting lunch. If you would be willing to wait at the Basilicom until we're finished, I would be more than willing to accommodate your request."

"I…guess that's fine with me too. We haven't talked in a while either." Noire hesitantly agreed.

"Okay. Lead the way." After a rather brief tour of the island nation, Vert lead me into her CPU sanctum, and I immediately wanted to leave. "Um…dafuq?"

"Oh, don't worry about all of that." Vert stated, waving off all the BL stuff.

"Don't worry, it threw the rest of us off the first time too." Noire whispered.

"So I've heard."

"I would offer you any of my games, but I don't believe you could if I did."

"It's okay, I can figure something out." After bidding each other goodbye, I did just that. Thankfully I keep a book on me in case of entertainment emergencies. I don't know how much time passed seeing as how I fell asleep reading.

"Comfortable?" Noire asked as I stirred, waking when I heard the door open. I don't blame her for the snarky comment, seeing as how I was thoroughly sprawled out across the couch.

"Yup. Pretty sure I fell asleep at some point."

"It is a very comfortable couch." Vert commented. "It's normally my bed when I'm busy."

"Busy playing games when you should be sleeping." Noire countered, clearly not pleased with the green themed CPU's habit.

"I try, I truly do."

"*sigh*Okay, I'm not going to fight a battle I can't win. Can you get ready to leave soon? Vert and I talked, and after we see the temple we'll go get dinner. You must be hungry."

"Sounds like a plan." Standing up and getting ready, we left. The temple she found was deep within the Halo Forest. Honestly, with how far in it was, I couldn't understand why Vert had even been here.

"This is it." Vert said as we approached the stone structure.

"Hm…This stuff is old…Older than most of the others. Looks Nordic, if the tree above the door is anything to go by."

"The tree?" Noire asked.

"It's Yggdrasil, the world tree. The nine balls represent the nine realms. Midgard is the land of mortals and Asgard is the land of gods."

"You just…knew about this one…How come you can spout all of this without research!?" Oh, Noire's #Triggered.

"Still upset? Sheesh, you hold a grudge. The reason I know about it is because the Marvel Comics were a thing back home, and they had a depiction of the Norse mythology."

"Comics?" Vert asked.

"Think manga, but with a different format. They also tend to stick to the theme of superheroes."

"I see." Before she could continue, a soldier wearing Leanbox's colors ran up.

"Lady Green Heart! It's an emergency! Someone claiming to be one of the Seven Sages is destroying the city!" No…We killed him. I watched the tank dude explode.

"What's this? Destroying Leanbox!? What of our military forces?"

"W-We're completely ineffective…"

"Sounds about right." Noire said. "Normal people don't stand a chance against them." The soldier's shoulders slumped, clearly depressed by Noire's words.

"I cannot stand by as my people are put in danger. Excuse me, Steven, but I must go. Perhaps we can continue this another day."

"You're not doing this on your own." Noire stated. "We're here for you, so let us help."

"I'm down an arm, but I should still be able to help. Magic only needs one hand."

"I…thank you. Both of you." Aw…Do I not get a hug? Then again, we aren't close enough to warrant such a response. With that resolved, we made our way back to the city, led by that soldier. Following the destruction from the place the soldier last saw them, we found the cause in a warehouse.

"Take that! I'll crush everything! Urrrraaaah! Haaaaah!" Arfoire yelled, smashing a piece of equipment used to move large boxes. With her was, as I thought, Copypaste.

"Well done, dear friend! I'll have to try even harder to keep up with you!" He shouted, taking a swing at a computer.

"What do you think you two are doing to my nation?' Vert asked the two, a scowl marring her face.

"Ah, so you have arrived. Reports said you would be alone, but I guess he isn't always right."

"Hey, Arfoire. Remember me? Ah, who cares if you do, I just want to take my pound of flesh for what you did to my shoulder. I didn't get to go as far as I wanted the last time." I stated, letting a savage smile split my face.

"Oh, hey buddy! How are ya!?" Man, I can't keep the sadist thing up when he hits me with the bro.

"Not bad you?"

"Good, good. Is that some new friends of yours I see? That's wonderful! Friends should be treasured above all treasures!"

"Just shut up and fight!" Noire yelled, transforming. "I won't let you keep destroying my girlfriend's city."

"Negotiations have broken down." I muttered, raising my staff to point it at them. Vert fawned over Noire referring to her as her girlfriend before following her lead, leveling the lance at the two.

"No more!" Vert roared, flying at the tank of a man(?). Noire took on Arfoire, and I blasted the two whenever I saw an opening. Between the bladed weapons and the various elemental blasts and spells we wore down the Seven Sages. "Take that!" Vert said, dealing the final hit on Copypaste, dropping him out of the fight. "That's one. Now, to deal with the other." Noire had put Arfoire on her ass, and I couldn't stop myself from slamming the butt of my staff into the bridge of her nose. Oh, the crunch from it breaking was satisfying.

"Ah, that felt good." So glad I did that.

"Why did you get in my way?" Noire asked.

"Someone has to fill in for Plutie when she isn't here. As you said way back when, there IS two of us.

"Right…"

"You'll…You'll pay for this…" The witch said nasally, picking herself up off of the ground. "Come on, you hunk of junk, we're leaving." With a wave from the machine, the two left to who knows where.

"Thank you, both of you." Vert said, deactivating HDD. "I do not believe I would be able to defeat them both on my own." Noire gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"Don't worry about it."

"Do I get a hug this time?" I asked, right arm held open.

"Of course." She replied, giving me a hug after separating herself from Noire.

"Now, about that dinner."

"Cynthia was right. You do only think with your stomach." Vert chuckled, though not long after we heard a growl.

"…I'm pretty hungry too…" Noire whispered.

"Well, we can't have both of you walking around scaring everyone with the sounds of your stomachs. Come along, I will be my treat." After the meal that I felt like I was underdressed for, I went home and passed out on the couch.

 **Ah, there we go.** 'Why would you ignore me if this chapter was about talking with everyone?' **Because I wanted to give other characters that don't get much screen time some interaction.** 'I see. Okay then, but you better make it up to me.' **Yes, Monika. Now, for an announcement. After reading through my older chapters to try to find some info for Tehg, I've discovered that there are quite a few mistakes that I missed while editing. So, slowly but surely I'll be fixing those. With that said, seeya!**


	10. A Magical Mishap before Things go South

Chapter 10: A Magical Mishap before Shit Hits the Fan

 **Hey. So, it's towards the end of the semester, so getting this out was a bitch. With the big presentation I have to do, I haven't had much time.** 'That sounds like an excuse.' **It sort of is, but it's all I've got. Also, hush you. You get your time to shine.** 'Really!?' **Yes.** 'Yay!' **There won't be as long as a wait for the next one, though. I've got that one worked out.** 'I know. I was there.' **Again, hush you. On with the show!**

Thanks to Iri's magic, my recovery time was reduced by a week, which Ragland wasn't happy about. Something bout pills being wasted.

"Come on, Dad! We're going to be late!" Monika called out. She had decided that I was going to work with her today. "You promised we'd spend today together." She said, standing in the doorway to my room.

"I know, I know, but you forget that your dad isn't a morning person." I grumbled, pulling on a shirt and my long glove. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand and saw it was the unholy hour of seven-thirty in.

"I'm making coffee. Just wait." Right…I forgot Iri is like Garfield. She absolutely _loathes_ Monday mornings.

"Thank you, Iri. You're a life saver." I replied, entering the kitchen.

"Hm." She grunted, returning to the French press. After the two of us had our intake of liquid caffeine, we made our way to the Basilicom.

"Hey, you three! How are you today?" Monika cooed to the three children. Said kids reached up to her with smiles on their faces.

"You should open up a…" Steven, you foolish man, you just had yourself an idea. "Hey, Histoire?"

"Yes? What is it, Steven?" As she asked, I picked up the one that had crawled over to me. It was Compa.

"Is there any empty business buildings around here that are empty?"

"That depends on what you intend to use the space for."

"Yes, Stevie, tell us about this brilliant idea of yours." Plutie said, lumbering into the room like a dragon awakening from its cave.

"Well, Monika and Iri are reall good with kids, and with everything that's been happening, there's got to be more kids like those three. Why not open a full on daycare?"

"That's a really sweet idea." Iri said. Plutie didn't seem too keen on the idea.

"But then everyone would be gone…" Oh…

"Hehe…What kind of brother am I, not seeing how my idea would affect you?" I asked, rubbing the back of my head.

"Dad, it's a nice idea, but I don't think I'd be able to watch over all of those children, even with Iri's help."

"I get the point already, no need to press it further."

"Hello, Stevie." Neptune greeted, entering the room. "Are you ready to get to work, Plutie?"

"Of course. Let's get going." After several hours, the other CPUs showed up, as was now a common occurrence.

"Hello, everyone." Nepgear greeted as she started giving us babysitters something to drink.

"Hey, Nepgear. Everyone." Noire greeted in turn. "Where's Cynthia? Normally she at least pops in to say hi."

"Guild stuff. She said it was something she wasn't allowed to skip out on, even if one of you said otherwise."

"Nepgear, are there any drinks left? Plutie and I could use a break." Neptune saw the others and paused. "As nice as it is to see everyone, I must ask something that's been on my mind for a while now. Why do you come and hang out in Planeptune's Basilicom every day, Vert? Noire isn't even here most of the time."

"No reason in particular. I am told to get out of my room more often. If I had to pick, however, it would be to discuss plans. I have sent scouts to explore the hidden parts of my nations, and have been giving Steven the reports. It is also more convenient to come here and give the reports to Histoire and Monika."

"And as I have told you, we do not require daily updates on the matter. Also, your attempt to hide the fact that you wish to talk with others has lost its appeal." Histoire countered.

"If everyone is staying for a while, would you like some tea?" Nepgear asked.

"Nepgear, ever since you decided to stay here when Neptune moved out, you've been working yourself to the bone. Why don't you take a break for once and sit over with your girlfriend?" Monika teased. "I learned enough about making tea from a friend, so I should be fine."

"O-Okay…" She replied, turning red as she sat down, looking at an equally red Blanc.

"Wait, how long has this been a thing?"

"You'd know if you showed up more often." Blanc replied.

"True."

"Maybe you should hand the baby off to someone else before going to do anything." Iri said, pointing to the baby Iffy in her arms. She was not exactly thrilled with the idea of leaving her hold.

"No!" She yelled in her tiny voice, increasing her grip on Monika's grey sweater-thing.

"I don't think that's going to happen any time soon." Monika giggled. "It's fine though. I should be able to take care of this as is."

"Are you two going to seal the deal?" Iri asked the still blushing duo. "I know for a fact that you two have been dating, but you haven't really done the whole couple thing. You two might as well be single."

"What about Plutia?" Blanc asked. "As far as I'm aware, she's still single, and you aren't harping on her about it."

"I don't bring it up because I know the reaction it'll get. Stevie's been waiting for the chance to harass me about something."

"I have. Payback will be sweet." No one teases me so viciously Plutie and gets away with it.

"You really shouldn't hide your relationship with Johnny from your brother, Plutia." Noire said. Wait…

"Oh…Ok. This'll be fun. I can rib both of you for this. Maybe I can bring back a joke from back home."

"What joke would that be?" Vert asked.

"Johnny the Masochist."

"Explain." Plutie all but demanded.

"It happened years ago, but he was talking to his family about us while in a party chat with us. Something was said, and thus the joke was born."

"We've talked about that already, so things like that aren't in our plans for the future." Plutie said afterwards.

"Where's Souji? Normally he tags along when you visit, Blanc." Iri asked as Monika struggled to handle both the platter of drinks and Iffy.

"He wished to stay in Lowee. Something about having to plan something and get ready for the exploration of the Leanbox temple." Blanc replied.

"He did say he would be by later though." Neptune added. Hm…well, I'm bored. Kinda want to try something.

"Hey, Histy? This place is damage resistance, isn't it?" I asked the tome.

"Yes it is, but I would appreciate it if you did not cause such an event to occur."

"I'm not going to, but I don't know how bad this could go." I said, retrieving the grimoire I had found in Hecate's temple and began flipping through its pages.

' _Steven. You know that you aren't ready for most of the spells in that book.'_ The goddess of magic warned.

"I just want to try a simple transformation spell. This shouldn't go horribly."

"Do you think that is the wisest idea?" Vert asked.

"Are most of my ideas wise?" I countered. "But no. I don't, but I'm really not gonna see how much I've progressed until I try the harder stuff. The plan is to make my beard go away. If it works, then I bring it back and everything is right with the world. I don't think I can fuck things up too badly." Finally, I found the page I needed and started casting. There was no fancy chant or anything, just dump in enough magic and focus on a mental image. The seal on the ground showed up like it was supposed to, and the light happened. "So, did it work?" Wait…that's not my voice. It's not that high.

"Um, Stevie…? You might want to pull up your pants and go find a mirror." Neptune suggested. I quickly did so, and was not pleased by what I saw.

"Kyah!" No. I did not just…"Fuck…" I was very much a girl, if the chesticles where anything to go by. "I really shouldn't have said what I did earlier. Leave it to my luck for this to go like this. Instead of removing my beard I removed my masculinity." My hair had grown long like it did with my contracts with Artemis and Hecate, to about the center of my back. While I may have shrunken a bit for my clothes to not fit properly anymore, my hips were wide enough that I could get away with it if I put on a belt for once. Not gonna lie, with this chest, I could give Noire a run for her money. Wasn't even close to Vert's in size, but I think 'Tia will be a touch jealous. As I finished looking myself over, there was a knock on the door.

"Dad, we're coming in." Monika said, opening the door and leading Noire and Iri in. The two older women had a stack of clothes that could have only come from Nepgear's closet.

"Take it off." Noire commended.

"Take what off?"

"EVERYTHING. It's either you do it yourself or Iri does it."

"You've seen how handsy I can be." The Servant added.

"Okay, okay, I'll do it." Stripping was an awkward affair. I've only ever taken my boxers off in front of one woman that wasn't family before, but as soon as they were off, Noire immediately got to work, eyeballing measurements. Then, she began pulling out different articles of clothing, starting with panties and bras. That's when I truly knew it was Nepgear's clothes, because the very first set was white with pink stripes. I hate to admit it, but I struggled with the bras for a long time. Longer than I'm willing to admit.

"Wouldn't he look cute in this?" Iri asked, holding up one of Nepgear's sailor outfits, socks included.

"No. I'm not wearing skirts or anything like that. Give me pants."

"Hahaha! Who said you have a voice in this?" Iri, no. Please. The Servant of the spell jumped me, forcing me into an outfit of her choice. My legs were covered by black tights that went up and over the stripped underwear. Over them was a pleated blue skirt that reached just above my knees. My torso was clad in a plain white blouse and an open denim jacket. "See? Look how pretty you are. Now, let's try some makeup."

"No! I'm putting my foot down there!" I shouted, still a bit startled by my feminine voice. "I've been through enough today, don't you think!?"

"We should be happy he's been cooperating as much as he has. No need to push it." Noire said, much to my relief. "I do suggest tying your hair up in some way."

"Later problems, Noire. I just…I need some time." I could feel may face burn with embarrassment and shame. The worst part was, I couldn't tell if it was from me, or from having the feminine traits of my personality enhanced by my magical mishap. Either way, having my adopted daughter's girlfriend's hands touching my in places or ways I didn't think I'd experience.

"Here." Monika said, pulling the strands that were in my face back with the rest into a low ponytail.

"Thanks." I very reluctantly left the room with the three, doing that thing that girls in anime (because I've never seen it in real life) do when their nervous, pulling the front of the skirt down.

"Hey guys, I'm…Who's this?" Johnny asked, sealing my fate of death via embarrassment.

"That is Steven." Blanc answered.

"He tried using a spell, and it, um…" Nepgear added, giving a bit more detail.

"Hehe...Hehehe…Hahahahahaha!" Johnny clearly tried containing himself, but gave up on the endeavor almost immediately. "That's fucking great! Leave it to you, G1, to fuck up this hard!"

"Fucking laugh it up. I can still beat your ass."

"Sure you can, shorty."

"All my hate."

"If this is temporary, we should lend him some clothes instead of buying new ones." Vert suggested.

"But that requires me wearing your underwear, and that's uncomfortable for everyone." I said. "Also, when you look at everyone, there's only two people that wear clothes that would fit me and are readily available. Nepgear and 'Tia."

"What about me?" Monika asked.

"No. Just no."

"Whatever the case, he's not fighting in borrowed clothes. I'll get started on something." Noire said, going to leave.

"Hey, I've got an idea about that." Johnny called out, running up and whispering in her ear for an amount of time that scared me.

"I can do that."

"Should we be scared?" Plutie asked, looking at her boyfriend's manic smile.

"Nah, you're fine." Johnny replied nonchalantly.

"…I want to go home now…" I don't like this.

' _I will try getting in contact with Loki He may have insight on the matter. Please hold out until then.'_ Hecate said as I left. In my arms was another outfit, courtesy of Nepgear. The blue flats I'd been given to wear were already hurting my feet. Sulking, I unlocked the door and went to my room, lying down in bed.

"Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?" Cynthia asked me, knife to my throat.

"Hey, 'Tia. What did the Guild want you for?"

"Only one person calls me that. Explain."

"Magic gone wrong. Tried using a transformation spell. Didn't go as planned."

"There's no way that that would happen to anyone but you."

"Yup. Hecate's on the case, but until then I'll be sharing your wardrobe."

"Whose are those, and who said you could? I don't think you could pull off what I do."

"That's mean. These are Nepgear's. Because, as of right now, all my clothes are borrowed, Noire's gonna be over at some point to get stuff for the combat gear she's making me."

"Well, we can't say life is boring. Especially with my promotion to S-class in the Guild."

"That's what that was about? Awesome."

"How long are going to be like that?"

"Fuck if I know. All that I know is that I'm going to use the opportunity while it's here." After she gave me a look, I continued. "Now I can learn for myself what works and what doesn't."

"You are NOT sitting around and masturbating all day."

"That…wasn't entirely what I was planning, but thanks for the idea."

"What else were you planning then?" All I did was wriggle my eyebrows. "Oh." Her face became indiscernible from her hair because of how red it turned.

"We will be learning some things together, my dear." I said, pulling her next to me in bed and stroking her face.

"I thought we were waiting until after the wedding…" She muttered shyly.

"We said that before I lost my family jewels, and I want to make that special for you. If I know what I'm doing from your perspective, I can make our wedding night all the better."

"You're taking this in stride." She commented, amused.

"I've traded out my man bits for two sets of squish squish. Honestly, it could be a lot worse."

"I guess. Now, how did they get you into a skirt?"

"Actual force."

"Sounds about right. Sit up for a second." Cynthia said.

"Okay?" I did as she said, and she scooted up behind me. It didn't take very long for me to feel fingers running through my hair.

"Your hair is still as soft as it was."

"What are you doing back there?" I asked.

"Braiding your hair. Monika and Iri won't let me do it to theirs."

"…Fuck it, I give up. I can't win in all this."

"You're the one that said you wanted to have the experience while you're like this."

"Hindsight is twenty-twenty."

"True. Also, I'll be painting your nails next."

"You're enjoying this far too much." I growled.

"Maybe a little." Sighing in defeat was really the only thing I could do, especially when Monika and Iri came home and decided to take pictures. "Monika, there's a bottle of light green mail polish in the drawer of my dresser. Could you paint his nails while I finish braiding his hair?"

"No problem." She replied.

"I'm going to need more film!" Iri cheered, running off.

"This is my life now." Close to an hour went by before the two were finished. I struggled quite a bit against the weird feeling of the paint on my person, especially for my toes. "Regretting several decisions that were made today."

"Dad. You're fine. You look fine. You'll be fine."

"I don't feel fine at the moment." After a while of silence, I spoke up. "Can we go get some pants? I'd really like some pants."

"Not so fast." Noire? When'd she get her? "I need your measurements."

"Hey Noire? Mind coming with me for a moment?" Monika asked, getting up and grabbing her arm before dragging her out.

"What are you doing?" I heard Noire ask from the other room.

"He's not in a good place right now. His entire reality has just been turned on its head, and it's finally sinking in."

"He seems fine."

"This is my dad. Hiding things is something he's really good at. It keeps people from worrying about him." I mean, I don't think I'm doing that bad. I'm just not comfortable with everyone pushing things on me so quickly. There is such a thing as an adjustment period, and they certainly didn't give me one. "Can it wait a day or so, just so he gets used to this?"

"Okay, but at least let me come with you so that they'll fit right."

"I can help him get clothes just fine on my own, Noire."

"Fine. Just…send me the numbers later so I can get to work on more than just the sketches."

"Sure Noire. Have a nice day." The tsundere CPU could be heard leaving and Monika returned. "Come on, Dad, let's go." I stood up and hugged her.

"Thanks, Monika. Just let me get that coat and stuff on, and then we can go." Once the article of clothing was found and put on, the two of us left. "Where are we going?"

"There's this little place that Iri and I found a while back that had some cute stuff."

"Monika, you know that's not what I want. Plus, do you really think I'd pull off cute?" Really, even if I am a girl for the time being, since when has fashion been a thing I cared about?

"Please? You might just be able to."

"No. Not the puppy dog eyes…Monika, seriously, cute isn't my thing." The pout only grew stronger. "Whatever. Just remember that I reserve the right to say no to anything you show me."

"Okay!" Taking me by the hand, she led me to one of the stores inside the mall that Plutie and I visited. "Here we are."

"Let's get this over with. We get what we came here for before anything else, got it?"

"That's alright." The very first thing I went for was a few pairs of sweatpants. Comfy lounging pants are really a must no matter what. They weren't anything fancy, just solid colors like grey and black. Next were jeans, and that wasn't exactly fun. Unlike sweatpants, I couldn't just grab a size and go. Some things don't change from world to world, like the fact that different brands interpret the same size differently. Then there's the fact Monika was constant trying to get me to get the ones with the sequins on the butt. After much trial and error, a few pairs made their way into the cart.

"These things are so uncomfortable." I groaned, trying to find as much room as possible within the pair that Monika convinced me to put on.

"They're skinny jeans. They're meant to make you look good, not be comfy." Monika countered.

"How do people put up with these?"

"Look yourself in the mirror and find out." I did and saw that if it weren't, you know, me, I'd definitely take a long look. "See? Now try this on." In her hands as a dress that was clearly not for me. The skirt part of it was not very long at all. Hell, it'd probably barely reach my mid-thigh. There was no back, and it was held up by a choker like strap. Fuck man, I don't know what they're called. Lastly, there was quite the cleavage window.

"No. Absolutely not. Why would I even need a dress like that?"

"Mom's birthday is April nineteenth."

"Ah, shit, that's right. I made a reservation to that fancy place we went to a while back too."

"So…Try it on?"

"No. If I have to do this, I'm not going out in something that makes me look like I'm looking for a one night stand. Can you find one that's tamer?"

"Of course." After about half an hour of looking, I had made my choice about what prison suit I was going to wear. It was a light green one that reach my knees. The skirt was frilly and had a floral lace design separating it from the rest of the dress at the waist. That pattern went upwards from the center and covered the entirety of the chest area. The thing was held up by two thick strips of fabric that extended up from the slight v-cut and had no sleeves. "Better?" She asked as I looked myself over, before making me do a spin. "Better."

"Yeah." Okay, I'm starting to get used to this faster than I thought. It's almost like someone is dictating my life *The Office camera stare*

"Why are you staring at the ceiling?" Monika asked.

"No reason. Now, time for me to get changed and leave. I'm tired of changing."

"Ah, ah, ah…There's just one more thing we have to get."

"What's that?"

"Underwear."

"Can we not?"

"No. I know for a fact that you can't mooch off of Mom's."

"And why's that?"

"You're bigger in both places than Mom is, and you've already said you refuse to use mine."

"Yeah, that's true, though I'm not entirely sure about that first bit. Why are you checking Cynthia out anyways?"

"What?" She asked innocently. "I was just covering my bases. You never know what could happen." After hitting her with the bullshit look, she caved. "I just want things to be a bit more even between us. You tease me all the time, especially about Iri, and I've got the chance to return the favor now."

"Ah, I see. Okay. We aren't leaving until you get your way, anyways." Even though I agreed, I very hesitantly followed Monika to the other side of the store.

"Hm…Let's see…These would fit you…Ooh, that set is cute…Hehe, Mom would like to see you in this set." She grabbed handfuls of panties and bras that ranged from modest and normal to something only put on to be taken off in the bedroom. "Come on, in you go. Let's see…Where to start? This one." Pushing me into the changing room, I was forced to change even more. The cute one she talked about was stripped like the ones Nepgear lent me. The last one…I'm starting to rethink my thing about thigh-highs, if that's the embarrassment women feel wearing that kind of lingerie. Paying out bill, we went home and had dinner.

"Did you get pajamas?" Cynthia asked, crawling into bed.

"I didn't make a plan for pajamas. Figured I'd do what I normally did." I replied, stripping down to just what covered my newfound lady parts down under. "Ah, freedom." I groaned, cuddling up to her. "…Why don't you ever try to be the little spoon? This feels nice, having them pressed up against you."

"Because you wouldn't be able to latch onto me. Also, I get the same effect against you when you do."

"…And now I feel like a fool."

"Cut yourself some slack. Everything is new for you, and you have questions about it."

"Mhm. Are there any plans for tomorrow?"

"Well, you need to get used to fighting in your new body, but Noire would throw a fit if you tried without whatever she's making. We could get away with exploring the temple in Leanbox, though your usual getup will be a touch big on you. Other than those, I don't think there's anything going on."

"Oh, well that works out, doesn't it? Vert will stop hounding us about exploring. If we go and don't tell her, well, I don't think I'd be able to deal with the aftermath."

"Her whining can get old quickly. Otherwise she's fine."

"I love you." I said, kissing her.

"I love you too."

"Hey, Tia? You kissed a girl, did you like it?"

"It's not the first time but…Yes, but just because it was you"

"It's nice to know that I won't be replaced if another lady comes into our lives."

"You wouldn't be replaced anyway." This was followed by another kiss. "Goodnight, babe."

"'Night, 'Tia."

Turns out that Noire was having absolutely none of it. She made us wait two days before letting me do anything involving fighting, going ahead and setting up shop in our living room just to do so. After those days were up, I learned the hard way that Johnny was milking this for all it's worth. How else could I explain the Nohr Noble uniform from Fire Emblem Fates that the CPU made? At least my feet weren't bare like the original.

"So, how does it fit?" Noire asked, as she made adjustments.

"Like a glove, holy crap. This thing is fucking tight." I replied, tugging at the armored stockings and leggings. "It's a little hard to breath."

"Well, it's supposed to be tight. Hold on, I can fix the chest issue." After a bit of finagling, using my lungs were able to do their job properly. "There."

"Thanks, now I can head over. Cynthia and Souji are waiting for me." I called them to let the two know I was on my way. The easiest way to do that was to call Vert.

"Hello?" She asked, picking up after a couple rings.

"Hey Vert. Mom said it was okay for me to come outside and play today."

"I see, though, I thought I was the only one who called Noire Mommy."

"What the hell is the conversation you two are having!?" Noire yelled, hearing our jokes because I had the phone away from my ear.

"Oh, just teasing, my dear." You could practically hear Vert waving her hand.

"You better be." Her face was decorated crimson red and with a smile, so I don't think her statement was completely sincere.

"Very well. When will you be over, Susan?" Vert asked.

"Susan?" I asked in turn.

"Yes. Johnny suggested that we should call you by a female name while you are in your female form."

"I'm going to fucking strangle him." I sighed, dragging my free hand over my face. "I'll be there soon as I can."

"Okay. We'll be waiting." The call ended, and I pocketed the phone.

"Thanks Noire, but I've got to ask you to leave"

"I understand." Noire packed her things and headed towards the door. "Good luck."

"Thanks." I locked the door after she left, heading to the green nation. More than once I had to stop and beat someone's ass because they tried to grab mine.

"So, this is what everyone was talking about. I have to admit, I did not think it was possible for someone to fail at transformation magic to such a degree." Souji commented as I entered the Basilicom.

"Look, I know I fucked up. I don't need everyone reminding me. Honestly, it's getting old."

"My apologies. It slipped my mind how this has been affecting you."

"It's fine."

"I'm guessing that was also Johnny's doing?" Vert asked, looking me over.

"Of course it was. Can we get going? I've already had enough guys, as well as a few girls, trying to cop a feel."

"Really?" Cynthia asked. "Then again, after the handful I got this morning…" Of course she takes the opportunity to tease me.

"Again. Go. Now. Please?" I begged, face burning.

"Let's." Vert said. The walk was rather short, given the fact that Vert's goon squad made a real path. Honestly, the temple wasn't all that exciting. Sure, there was the occasional monster room, but most of the trials were ones of strength. The best part of this excursion was when Souji could wrestle a statue, then Vert fucking bodied it. Not fucking with her any time soon. You don't mess with someone that can suplex something that was ten times her weight and twice her height.

"Anyone else tired?" Souji asked, exhaustion breaking his mask of seriousness.

"Very, but we are at the final test." Vert replied. "Stopping now would only delay the inevitable. We may as well continue." Doing as she suggested, I approach the crystal, which was in the shape of a lightning bolt. As per the usual, my attempt was thwarted by the mechanics of the temple. Unlike any other time, we weren't greeted by some horrid beast, but something surprisingly human. It was too tall to be, but t definitely had skin underneath the metal is had on.

"A Valkyrie, huh? Okay then. Anansi!" Thankfully my GCG adapted to my new form, covering my chest in the same material that covered my lowers. Now armed with a staff with numerous blades forming the shape of a spider web, I got ready for the fight.

"That's a weird one to start with." Cynthia commented, knife in hand. "But I can see it in your eyes. You've got a plan."

"Now is not the time." Souji stated. The oddest thing about this situation was that the Valkyrie had yet to move. Its eyes were just watching us. That changed after the serious man blasted her with a bolt of dark magic. With sword raised high, she slew at him with a surprising amount of speed. Time to put my plan into action. I threw the staff like a javelin, intercepting her before she could land a hit on the physically squishy magic man. With a firm grip in its story thread, I pulled, returning the weapon to me.

"You dare to interrupt our duel!?" She roared with a surprising amount of humanity, changing her attack target to me. With the grace of a spider I dodged the attack while swiping my weapon, leaving a gash across her face.

"You forget that we are, ultimately, not here for a battle, but the object that you are protecting. Nothing more, nothing less." Vert replied, also taking action. The three of us melee combatants proceeded to slash at her from different angles, not letting her single one of us out. The Valkyries were known as some of Asgard's fiercest warriors for a reason.

"Move!" Souji yelled, a massive sphere of blackness above him. With a flick of his hand, it launched itself at the knight of Asgard. The attack hit, and she looked to be on her last leg, both figuratively and literally.

"Allow me." Vert said. "Rainy Ratnapura!" With the skill dealing out its damage, the boss was beaten, the light fading from her eyes.

"We really didn't do much this time, did we?" I asked.

"Not really, and I don't know what that means. To be fair though, we clashed with her a lot."

"Yeah. Well, time to do the thing, I guess." The crystal shattered easily enough, just like every other.

' **Well done! The might of you and your friends is great indeed! I, the Prince of Asgard, Thor, shall lend you my aid.'** Well, that was abrupt. Normally they let me talk or ask a question.

'It is Thor. He is one to use his muscles to talk far more often than his mouth.' Anansi replied.

"Who was it this time?" Souji asked.

"Thor, Norse God of Thunder." I replied. "He explained nothing about his contract, so I'm gonna have to find out the hard way."

"He's like that tank you were talking about. All power, no brains." Cynthia commented.

"That certaint sounds like an apt description." Souji added.

"Indeed it does. However, I believe it is time to leave. We have obtained the quest item." Vert pointed out.

"Sounds like a plan. These things are uncomfortable." I said, once more tugging at the stockings.

"As you have stated thoughout this excursion." Souji deadpanned.

After a few days I got a call from Histoire. She doesn't normally call me, and when she does it's never on my cell, so it must be important.

"Good afternoon, Steven. Er, Susan?"

"Is Johnny nearby?" God damn him.

"Yes. I am calling because there is someone here at the Basilicom for you. I must also ask that she stay with you for the next few days."

"And make it snappy!" A high pitched voice shouted.

"Okay. Give me a few to change" I hadn't planned on going anywhere, so I was walking around the house in black sweats and a matching black bra. I swapped this ensemble out for black leggings, a grey t-shirt that was a bit on the long side, and a pair of fuzzy knee high boots Monika insisted on me buying.

"Hello Steven." Histoire greeted. She would have continued if not for the obnoxious cough from a smirking Johnny. "Susan."

"I hate you, Johnny. From the bottom of my heart I truly do."

"Love you too buddy." He quipped, smirk growing into a shit eating grin.

"My brother said I was meeting a guy. Who's this?" A girl who looked oddly like 'Tia asked. The only real differences were that her hair was in two braids that reached her waist and was smaller overall.

"Brother…Looks like my fiancé…You're the girl Cynthia was made from, aren't you?" I asked rhetorically. "You're smaller than I thought you'd be." She quickly kicked my shin, which didn't hurt as badly as a kick from a DGU should.

"Who the hell are you calling small, and why the hell are you looking at my chest!?"

"I'm happily to be married, pipsqueak! I was saying that you barely reach my waist!" I yelled back.

"Whatever." She huffed, crossing her arms.

"Solar, this is indeed the person your spawn is to marry. Because of an incident involving the misuse of magic, he been forced into the form of a woman for the foreseeable future."

"And it's been great to point and laugh at him all the while." Johnny commented.

"Yes, Johnny, but the rest of us grew tired of the joke after the first day." Histoire countered.

"Meh. This is fine, all things considered. I'm getting my laughs."

"I'm pretty sure that you're lucky that Plutie isn't here. She'd beat your ass." I quipped.

"It'd be worth it to mock your sorry ass."

"Can we get going? I can't stand his stick anymore." Solar said.

"Sure, but in just a sec. Hey Histy, where is everybody?"

"Monika and caster took the children to the park. Neptune is at a doctor's appointment, and Souji went with her. Plutia decided she wanted to spend the day with Blanc."

"Ah, okay."

"If I may ask, where is Cynthia?"

"Ever since the Guild made her an S-rank member, she's had to go on some seriously difficult missions the last few days. She told me that she can't say anything about the one she's on now."

"I see. Have a nice day." I started to leave and Solar hung back a foot or two behind me.

"I hope you're up for a walk. I live out in the suburbs."

"I've fought in a war. That's nothing."

"Tehg brought that up before when we had that little get together. What happened that pulled you into a war?"

"There was a civil uprising that eventually boiled down to a war of attrition."

"Fun." I said sarcastically. After a while, we made it home with no issue. "Here we are." Opening the door resulted in the usual greeting I get whenever I come home. Sayori climbed her way up onto my shoulder, making herself comfortable.

"What's up with your cat?"

"She likes people."

"Tehg wasn't kidding about how much junk you have." She said, looking around the different parts of my house.

"First of all, how would he know about what's in my house? Secondly, I'm an archeologist. It makes sense that I have some souvenirs."

"Point."

"Make yourself at home. There's a spare room upstairs. Plutie uses it sometimes, but you should be fine if she decides to come over. Just prepare to be spooned."

"Ooookay then…" Solar said, eyebrow raised.

"Do you happen to have a dress or something on you?"

"Why would I?"

"I was hoping you did because, according to your brother, tomorrow is Cynthia's birthday. We're going to a lace that has a dress code, and was really banking on not having to spend more money than I had to this week."

"Looks like your dream isn't coming true."

"Yup." I agreed, disheartened. I took Solar to the same place Monika took me. The trip didn't take nearly as long, thankfully. A very simple red ball gown was selected that didn't look to bad on her, given as simple as it was. "Good to go?"

"Should be." Paying for it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, seeing as how she footed half of it. The rest of the night went relatively boringly. Cynthia never came home, which made me worried, but I was confident that she could handle herself. My faith didn't settle Monika down. I was the first person up, which wasn't really out of place.

"Good morning…" Plutie said, as I set the table.

"Mornin'. Enjoy your newest pillow?"

"Mhm…She was like Blanny, but warmer. Coffee?"

"It'll be ready in a minute or two. How was her reaction?"

"Disappointing, really. She grumbled something about chest sizes then stormed her way to the bathroom. I heard the shower going as I passed and may just join her."

"Plutie, chill. If she's anything like Blanc, she'll wreck my house when you try."

"Oh, don't worry, I won't do anything too extreme." After taking a long swig from the mug I placed in front of her, she stood up from the table. "Just let me know when breakfast is ready."

"I'll give you a holler." It didn't take long for the excitement to start.

"H-Hey! W-What are you doing!?"

"Why, taking a shower." She left the door open too. Lovely. "Oh, don't cover yourself. Look at how cute these are. They're like little buttons." God dammit, Plutie. I don't think Tehg will appreciate you making his sister question her sexuality.

"Stop! Don't touch-*Squeal* Why are you grabbing my butt!?"

"Hey, everybody! Pancakes are done!" I shouted, giving Plutie her signal as well as attempting to wake the two logs that inhabit my house.

"Oh thank God!" Solar shouted. Plutie came down much shortly after, smugness written all over her face. Solar followed shortly after. "Why?"

"Because you didn't react the wat she wanted you to this morning." I answered, passing her a plate.

"But I got them on round two."

"Aren't you with Johnny?" Iri asked, being the first of the two awake.

"Won't stop me from teasing. I've done it with the two of you, after all."

"Yes, I remember." She deadpanned. "I couldn't tell if you were trying to steal me away from Monika."

"That means I'm doing it right. Putting on an act is how you get the best reactions when you're _punishing_ someone."

"Ah, there's the sadism. It's been a while." I commented. As we ate, there was a knock on the door.

"You gonna get that?"Solar asked, mouth half full.

"Yeah, I'm on it." Swiftly, while double checking that I was decent, I moved to the front of the house and opened the door.

"Hello. Is this the residence of Cynthia?" The person asked. They were in the uniform of a high up guild official, so I had no reason to be wary.

"Yeah. Come on in." She did, and I beckoned her towards the table. "Sorry, but we were in the middle of breakfast."

"I'm sorry to intrude. Good morning everyone. Unfortunately, I come bearing bad news. As of late last night, it was confirmed that Cynthia, as well as the agent that she was with, were confirmed missing in action. The agent's arm was found, indicating that those that took them have no qualms about bringing them physical harm."

"What was she doing that could result in something like that?" Iri asked.

"That information is classified to anyone that isn't an S-rank agent."

"This is my fiancé we're talking about, and we've been taking on much tougher. You better tell me."

"I can't. I want to, but I can't. But it's why I'm here. Cynthia added a condition to her acceptance of the Quest. If anything were to go wrong, we were to contact you for her rescue."

"We can't do anything if we don't know what's up." Solar commented.

"Perhaps what is being said isn't being understood." Plutie said with venom, standing up and activating her processors. "As the CPU of Planeptune, I order you to tell us!"

"…It was a stealth mission. There is a group of radical terrorists belonging to the Cult of Geardite that believes that Gamindustri is for humans and humans only. They take extreme action against any and all they perceive as inhuman or in the way of their goals. Their goal was to infiltrate the base of this group and gather intelligence."

"And to save them we have to ninja our way in like they had to. Awesome." I deadpanned. "Alright. Where do I need to get to?"

"You aren't going alone." Iri stated.

"None of us are really subtle Iri. If it's just me, then the risk is at least a little lower."

"I can help. It is ME, after all and I've got silencers." Solar said.

"No offense to your magic, but it's too flashy for this." Monika observed.

"Time is of the essence." The Agent said. "They have been known to sacrifice prisoners. We must be on our way."

"Solar, come on. We've got peeps to save." I stated before going to change. We were led to an area in the woods near where the borders of the continent's three nations met.

"This is where we found the arm. From here, you're on your own." She left, and we sat there for a second.

"You got a silencer for this thing?" I asked, holding up my hand cannon.

"How the hell would you silence something like that!?"

"No idea. All I know is I need something. Both of my usual weapon aren't really meant for stealth, even though my staff is good for nonlethal takedowns."

"Here." Solar said, handing me a M1911 with a silencer attached to the barrel. "That good?"

"I'm used to heftier, but this'll do. This'll do nicely." From the corner of my eye I saw some light. Turning back, she had two five-sevens in her hands, silencers included.

"Let's go." Very carefully we made our way deeper into the woods, following trampled plants and the info we were given. "Two guards at the bunker entrance." She said, looking down the scope of her Hécate sniper rifle, checking out possible entrances.

"See any alternative ins?"

"Looks like there's a vent to our left. There's a guard and a camera within watching range."

"Shit. Either way has presents a problem."

"Pick your poison."

"Vent sounds like a good idea, but taking out the camera will set of the alarms immediately. The front guards would at least give us a little time."

"Front it is. I'll take the one on the left."

"Then I'll get the right." We approach as silently as we could until we had a clear shot with our pistols. The puffs of air signaled the dropping of two bodies. Moving them into the bushes bought us that much more time and we entered the facility. "That room." I ordered, pointing at a close by doorway.

"Why?"

"If I could get the story of this place, I can learn where they are, and what exactly has been going on here."

"Oh." We opened the door slowly and found that it was a break room, and was currently housing six goons having a snack. We were as surprised as they were, but we had one advantage. Our guns were in hand. We unloaded as quickly as we could, trying to drop them ASAP. "Bad room."

"Very bad room." I agreed. "Next one?"

"We can try it." Leaving the break room for the next one down the hall, we found that this one was much better. It was an armory, but was currently empty. "This gonna take long?"

"Depends." I replied, using Anansi's passive gift to retrieve the base's story thread. "Oh, that's longer than I thought. This has been here for a while." It took five minutes to sort through everything, and I was disgusted by what I saw.

"Are you okay over there? You're looking a little green." I stood up, sharply turning towards her and the door she was watching.

"We need to pick up the pace. They've already scheduled the sacrifice of the agent and 'Tia's on the docket. She's down on the fourth floor."

"Fine by me." We didn't really run into anyone on the rest of the first floor, but I chocked it up to the rest being on the lower floors. The second floor hallway was empty, so we checked and cleared rooms so that our escape would be that much smoother. The first two were barren. The third had four of the cultists in it. The screams of pain told of a sacrifice in progress. Killing the four was simple, seeing as how they were distracted. The body on the table matched the description of the woman 'Tia was with. Seeing the look in her eyes as well as what they had done, I put her out of her misery with a bullet between the eyes. We returned to the hallway, where seven armed goons were waiting. I took a bullet to the stomach during the shootout, but other than that we were fine.

"You okay?"

"Had worse and I know a good doc that's usually on standby."

"Alright then." The third floor was about as empty as the above two, except for the seven men that were in the server room. With a quick flurry of trigger pulls, they were dealt with. "Go on. I'll get the info the Guild wanted." Nodding, I did as she said. The last floor was nothing but cells, with armed guards here and there. This one was significantly larger than the rest, having off shooting corridors separate from the main one. Dispatching any that was in my way went slowly, but that was probably because I was making sure my shots counted. 'Tia was in a cell all the way at the end of the hallway on the left side of a T intersection. She was covered in cuts and bruises, and her left wolf ear was gone.

"'Tia? What happened? Your ear."

"Steven? They jumped us in the forest. I was trying to protect my partner when one of them swung at me. I was able to keep from losing my head, but they got it. It hurts. It hurts so much."

"Oh, baby…Come on, let's get you out of here."

"But the cell-"

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about that. I didn't come alone." Tugging the door yielded the desired result, freeing her. "Did they take anything else from you?"

"No. I managed to get my knife in my inventory. What happened to-?"

"Put her out of her misery. They had opened up her stomach and chest, and carved 'Freak Lover' into her leg."

"I…Okay…Who did you come with?" As we walked the alarms started to blare.

"Run now, questions later." I grabbed her hand and pulled, keeping the pistol leveled in front of me. Anybody that wasn't Solar and was either in robes or holding a gun were gunned down. I never ran into Solar until after we had exited.

"Hey! This way!" Said DGU yelled, waving us over.

"Solar!?"

"Later, 'Tia!" We sprinted until we were nearly to Planeptune. We had to stop because of 'Tia's exhaustion via blood loss. "There. We should be fine now."

"You two came for me?"

"Of course I would." I replied. "I love you. Trying to get info out of your boss, however, was a bitch."

"And there's no way I was going to leave myself out to dry."

"I…thank you…I was going to die in there." My reply was to pull her into a deep kiss.

"Get a room, you two." Solar groaned.

"Maybe later. I want Ragland to check out those injuries." I stated. "I don't want you to not be able to enjoy dinner tonight."

"Steven."

"'Tia, it's your birthday, and you were about to be killed by a ult. Being around friends and family is something you need right now."

"He's got a point, though she does need some real rest." Solar commented.

"The reservation isn't until 8 tonight." I replied. "Though a trip to Ragland is the only thing to worry about right now."

"Will this be your first trip to Ragland's without being a patient?" Cynthia chuckled weakly.

"Nope." I said. "Bullet to the stomach."

"Let's go, before any of those get infected." The walk was exhausting, given everything that happened today, but we eventually got there.

"Welcome to Doctor-" The desk worker Ragland hired paused. "Doctor!"

"What is i-?" Ragland walked out to see what was up and saw us. "Cancel my appointments for the afternoon. You three, in here. Now." We sat down on the table thing that doctors have. "What the hell happened to you two? You're shot." He said, turned towards me. "And you look like you've been through a blender." He continued, now towards Cynthia.

"It's…complicated." Cynthia said, clearly not comfortable with talking about what she went through.

"Cultists." Solar said, having no such qualms.

"I can wait, Ragland. 'Tia goes first."

"Not with that hole in your stomach. You. Get that bedpan and tilt her head toward it. We need to get the fluids out of that ear." The good doctor went to work, closing me up with a scary proficiency. He then did the same to the cuts on 'Tia, as well as cleaning up what he could around her ear. "I'm sorry, but there's no way I can do anything about this besides the cleaning I just did."

"Oh…" Cynthia said dejectedly, reaching up and touching the bandages that were already becoming red. "I'll live. That's what's important."

"Other than that, you're both free to leave. I don't want to see you again until it's time to remove those stitches."

"Sir, yes sir." I said, placating him. The walk home was awkwardly quiet, with 'Tia occasionally reaching up to try and touch something that wasn't there.

"Hey, I'm just…I'm just gonna be alone in my room for a while." Solar said, going up to her borrowed room.

"Hey 'Tia? Let's call Monika and Iri. They'd appreciate knowing that you're okay."

"I'd like that." As soon as Cynthia started talking. The call ended. "I think they're on their way home."

"I figured. They love their mom."

"Iri isn't-"

"That's just a matter of time." They crashed through the door in record time.

"Mom!" The two shouted, tackling her into a hug. She looked at me for help, but I just gave her the "I told you so" look before joining them.

"Hey, since everyone's here, I think I should say this before it gets bottled up." I said, voice quieter than I thought it could be. "I did some bad things today. No, terrible things. I killed people. Real people. I know that they were killing tons of people, but still."

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Monika asked. "Deep down, you feel…wrong. Like there's a piece of you missing. It's not going to go away either, not completely at least. Neither are the memories. Dad, you were there for me after I did something like this. Now, let me return the favor."

"Of course, Monika. Of course." After about an hour, Solar came down, eyes red and face stained with tears. We just sat around and enjoyed the fact that we were still alive. Dinner, while it was very much a celebration for 'Tia's birth, was much more subdued due to the visible injuries and everything that had happened. I couldn't have as much fun, given the horrors I saw in those cells. It was certainly entertaining when the staff started to sing and she got embarrassed. When we got home, it was well into the night.

"Steven, what are you doing?" Cynthia asked as I held her as close as I could while we were in bed, tears running down my face. "What's wrong?"

"Look at what they did to you, and I couldn't do anything about it. I was so scared when I saw you in there. Scared that you wouldn't answer when I said your name. Don't leave me. Promise me you won't leave me." I felt a hand snake through my hair.

"I'm not going anywhere. After this, I'm taking a long, long break from being a Guild Agent."

"I love you. So much."

"I love you too." A day later, Solar went back via the Histy bus, and things fell into a rhythm. After about a month of what Hecate described as "gentle persuasion" we figured out a way for me to turn back. This resulted in me being able to shift between the two at will, but took away my ability to become anything else. Oh, and there was sex. A bunch of sex. Months passed by in the blink of an eye.

"What do I do? What do I do!?" Souji questioned, panicking super hard.

"Calm down, first of all." I said. When he didn't, I slapped him.

"Neppy wouldn't want to see you like that."

"Souji! I'm gonna kill you!" Neptune shouted, clearly undergoing labor pains. Her birth was being taken care of by Ragland and Nepgear.

"Clearly." It was quite the struggle to get him to stop wearing a line into the floor, and it took even longer for Ragland to come out.

"Come on. It's time for you to meet your daughter." He said with a smile on his face.

"Y-Yeah." Souji entered the room that Neptune was in. After a few minutes, we were waved in by the new parent. Souji was holding a small girl that had his black hair with bits of purple at the tips. Her eyes were wide open, and were the Nep family purple. "Everyone, this is Aiko."

"She's precious." I said, moving a little closer."

"Want to hold her?" Neptune asked.

"I'll have plenty of time in the years to come. This is your guys' moment."

"Congrats, you two." Johnny said, speaking up for the first time in a while that night. "Kind of wish it didn't wake me up, but still. Nice going."

'STEVEN!' **What? There's a happy ending there.** 'Still!' **Look, I decided to get the ball rolling for things later on down the line. I needed to show the scale of things.** 'I don't like it.' **And I didn't like writing it, but sometimes you have to do things you don't like. Jeez, 9k+ words for this thing.** **I'm proud of this, and I hope you liked it. Later.**


	11. Dungeon in a Different Dimension

Chapter 11: Dungeon in a Different Dimension

 **Hello, loyal readers.** **Welcome to another co-authored chapter that will sit forever on Tehg's computer until he finally decides to get to parts where he can use these.** No comment... **Because it's true. Though, to be fair, I've done the same for this one. This is happening just because of the free time I'm getting for spring break.** That's good right? Either way we're writing so yay? **Yay indeed. So, shall we begin?** 'Are you two forgetting about me?' Oh...I forgot about you...Start the chapter! START THE CHAPTER! 'Talk about rude.' **I apologize for him, but we do have to start.** 'Fine.'

In Planeptune's Basilicom, Tehg, Lux and Alexis are standing around Histoire waiting for Steven's Histoire to pick up. An hour later (fuck you g1) they finally got a response.

"What do you want, it's three in the morning. You woke up our poor tiny fairy."

"Steven I think I found one of those temple things, wanna go check it out?" Tehg asks towards a confused looking Steven.

"You called. At three in the morning. To give me work? Why?"

"Because I'm bored...please help me."

"I'm really tempted to say no, but I'm being told to say yes."

"By…?" Alexis asks very confused.

"The voices in my head." It may sound weird, but he wasn't wrong, nor crazy. "And the fact that I have the Devil sitting on the couch drinking Johnny's beer."

"'Sup?"

"Uh...how is he here?"

"It's Saturday...well, Sunday technically. We have beers on Saturdays."

"How do you sound so casual about drinking with the Devil?" Lux asks with slight intrigue.

"Look, girly, when you do this long enough, you stop caring about the 'whys' and just learn to deal." Lucifer replied, turning on the sass.

"Point taken." She sulked.

"How can you tell that she's a girl?" Steven asked his hellish companion.

"I see souls, kid. How many times do I have to go over this?"

"Look, does not start running until seven a.m. and has installed ."

"Would you like a full cooked breakfast by your fiancé too?" Tehg asked mockingly.

"Only on certain days. Personally I enjoy cooking breakfast, so…"

"Um...Can we get back to why we're here?" Alexis asks.

"~Dude looks like a lady!~" Lucifer sang.

"H-how could you tell?"

"Did you miss what I just said? I see souls, not faces."

"I did hear it, however it was a god that made me like this, so I was unsure if you would be able to tell…" She says, fidgeting all the while.

"Do you honestly think some pagan god could outclass me?"

"Lucy, don't start that." Steven warned. "The headaches you give me from starting those fights with the others hurt something fierce. And yet, you aren't bothered by the CPUs, and have refused to say why."

"Does it matter? Just go already." He said, fading as if he were a mirage.

"'Bout damn time. So, you coming then or not?" Lux asks, looking impatient.

"If it really is a temple, then I really have to. Hopefully it won't be a repeat of Hecate's."

"I don't even want to know. Let's just get this over with, I have things to do." The call ended so that the two Histoires could do their thing. With the portal open, the older man entered their room.

"Where's the bathroom? I need to change." Steven asked, standing before them in nothing but shorts.

"Uh, uh, uh...it's over there!" Alexis manages to say through her blush.

"Thanks." He left, going to the direction she(?) was pointing. When he returned, he was clad in what Indiana Jones wore in Raiders of the Lost Ark, hat included. "There we go. If I'm doing this, I'm doing it right."

"Really?" Tehg asks, face palming. "Well, whatever, let us be off then."

"Hey, I'll have you know that there hasn't been a temple that I HAVEN'T gone into with this. Getting the blood out was a pain, but it's worth it."

"B-blood? Are you okay?" Alexis asks, slightly worried.

"Don't worry about him. It's him." Tehg says.

"Yeah, I'm good. You saw the scars, and I always have Doctor Ragland to patch me up if things get too bad."

"Don't even want to ask. We're losing daylight." Lux says, ushering the lot on.

"What, you don't want to hear about the time I fought a reanimated dragon skeleton?" He asked, following her.

"Don't care, I've fought worse just trying to survive day to day."

"You've clearly never fought Plutie then."

"No clue who that is, but they can't be that bad."

"She's a powerful CPU with a hard on for sadism."

"And that changes what? That she lives longer than most people?"

"Here. Watch this recording." He replies, handing her his phone with the recording of the torture that she put Mister Badd.

"Huh, not bad. Maybe me and her can get along." She says, chuckling.

"No. The worlds don't need two of her. Having one as a sister can be bad enough."

"I feel for you…not really, though I guess I might hold a tiny bit of sympathy?" She says more questioning herself.

"Kid, I can and will punt you like a football. When we're in there, it's my lead, my say. I've seen enough bodies made by traps, I don't need any more."

"C-can you two not fight? Please? It's bad enough when she acts like she owns Tehg. Though I do agree that you should lead as the most experienced." Alexis says, sighing.

"Fine, fine. So, where is it, anyway?"

"Uh...Somewhere in Lowee. Lux is the one who found it so I'm not exactly sure." Tehg says looking over to Lux who refuses to answer.

"That's a walk, and someone's being a brat. God, am I glad I missed this stage with Monika."

"How's she coping anyway?"

"She's got a girlfriend, if that means anything."

"I ship it. And don't worry about Lux. I should know how to find it once we're in Lowee...I think?"

"Fucking hell...Alright, let's get this shit show going." A few hours they finally arrive in Lowee. Along the way they encountered many mob enemies which Steven made quick work of with his giant hand cannon. ( **Hehe...Phrasing!** ) Their travel time was increased when Lux still refused to give up the temples location, so Tehg had to stumble around by memory until they finally found it. Unlike those that he's seen before, there was very little of the structure that could be seen. The entrance was a small stone entrance that wasn't more than five feet in any direction inside, and the outside was covered in snow. "Tehg? You see there?" He asked, lifting the hand that was full of hellfire towards one of the walls.

"Uh...I don't see what you're seeing."

"You know that game from back home, Pokémon?"

"I do, but it's been awhile since I played any of them."

"He's talking about Unknown, Tehg. Seriously, how could you not know?" Alexis said, sounding disappointed in him.

"It's been awhile, so I don't remember what each one is, but I swear if I'm making a contract with a Pokémon, someone is going to pay. Man, I wish I grabbed the camera. It's annoying that I can't document this."

"Here" Tehg says, throwing one over. "I heard from Cynthia about how you document it so I brought it just in case."

"Oh hey, not a Polaroid. That makes things at least a little bit simpler, though doing this one handed will be a pain." Keeping the flame pointed without having it in frame, several pictures were taken of the various stone carvings.

"Hey Alexis what you doing staring at the wall?" Tehg asks walking over to her.

"O-oh nothing! Just trying to see if any of this made any sense."

"And does it?"

"No comment." She says before slipping away from him.

"Well, the only path is down, so let's get moving." Steven said, walking down the stairwell that was in the center of the room. The only real light was from the crimson flame held in the older man's hand.

"So, what are things like in these temples normally?" Lux asks, matching his pace.

"Depends, really. Each god is different, so the layout and what's inside is different too. Hecate, for example, while a goddess of magic is also known for necromancy, so we had zombies and shit to deal with. Anansi, on the other hand, had puzzles to solve and spiders. Lots of spiders. Definitely not going back into that one."

"Sounds like fun! Unlike Snoozeville over there." Lux says, point over to an unaware Tehg.

"Yeah, you'd think being in a Resident Evil game is fun, until the dragon shows up and doesn't give a damn about what you do to it."

"Did you hit the core?"

"Didn't have one. Ended up finally getting Lucifer's GCG and stabbed it in the not-face before turning it to ash. Turns out I was never angry enough to use it...Shit I sound like I went Super Saiyan."

"This isn't even my final form." Can be heard from someone behind the man.

"Who dare?" The man questioned, extending his staff to its full length.

"Um, I'm sorry." Alexis said "You said that so I kinda said it out of reflex."

"Yeah, so now you're getting bopped." The end of the blunt weapon quickly made contact with the top of her skull.

"Ow...That actually hurt." She complains to the man.

"Good. It was supposed to." Seeing as how no one was paying attention, given the commentary, they never noticed the holes that were in the wall of the hallway they just turned into. So, when a stone plate decompressed in the middle of it...well…"Ah, shit. Move!" As they started running, a hail of arrows ejected themselves out of the openings, intent on skewering anyone that was unlucky. Alexis tripped on one of the stones that had upheaved over time, moving right into the path of one of the deadly weapons. Steven, out of instinct, tossed her to safety, taking the hit for her.

"Ah shit, you alright Steven?" Tehg asks grabbing the crystal attached at his waist all the while Alexis rushes over while 'trying to' dusting herself off and tries to speak as she gets to Steven, however words fail her.

"I'm good, I'm good. Just an arrow." He replied, simply ripping the offending thing out. "See? Hit my fake shoulder, so nothing serious."

"Fake huh...Well just to be safe I'm gonna heal you. Better safe than sorry...Also, Alexis, deep breaths. And find your words...you're kinda fumbling over them." Tehg says as he readies his crystal. "Just to let you know...I'm no expert so this could go wrong...horribly wrong." The look he received screamed 'are you kidding me?' "I don't get the chance to use healing magic much ok?!" The look persisted. "Fine be that way, I won't heal you then."

"You say that like I haven't done this with worse. 'Tis but a scratch." The hallway opened up into a large circular structure with a domed roof. "Oh, fun. Nothing like sealed doors to indicate that shit's going south."

"You speak from experience…don't you?" Lux asks the man.

"Of course I do."

"God dammit...so we're basically walking into a trap right?"

"Pretty much." They stepped inside, and the door behind them shut. "See?"

"I do see, however I do wonder what will come next. Any theory's as the expert on the subject?" Lux asks with fake interest.

"Nope. Usually shoot first ask questions later helps."

"I can get behind that." Tehg comments. "Permission to transform if it gets dangerous?"

"If necessary, but things normally don't get too bad until much deeper in." The three then give each other a look before getting readying for whatever is going to happen. Several of the stone pillars that looked like they supported the room crumbled, and a flow of lava was coming into the room. "Oh, lava. That's new." He then proceeded to take pictures.

"Welcome to our dimension…" Tehg says in a flat tone while he readied his crystal.

"Lovely place. I'll have to swing by sometime, see if there aren't any volcanoes to hang out by." He replied, sarcasm oozing out of his voice.

"I'd love to show you some, however I'm busy with this right now. Vas fictile munitionem!" The earth starts to move creating a barrier for them from the lava. "That should hold it for now, but we really should find a way out of here."

"Uh, how about...no, that won't work." Alexis tries.

"We could try hitting it till it dies?" Lux offers, possibly sarcastically.

"Platforms? We've got enough stone to do it, and if we get one in the right spot, we shouldn't have to worry about any spillover." Steven suggested.

"Oh I get you...and yay...bad memories return." Tehg says cryptically.

"So uh, once that's done. What then?" Lux asks Steven.

"I'm gonna punch the door." He said, with the straightest face possible.

"Did...no...ok...you go do that." Tehg says as he goes and sits down in a corner.

"Okay. Thor!" A bolt of lightning, which shouldn't have been able to happen underground, struck him. When the flash died down, he was covered in scalemail and was wielding a massive hammer. ( **Thor's armor in the Marvel movies, just with a different Mjolnir** ) "Time to get to work." Swinging the weapon broke the wall into large chunks, which he proceeded to throw. "There! Now we can cross!"

"Impressive, I guess, though I thought you said you was punching something not throwing a hammer?" Tehg says towards the man.

"First of all, I swung my hammer. Secondly, how can I punch the door from here?"

"Uh...um…" Tehg tries to think of a retort/response to no avail. "Ok, fine, you win. You have a point."

"Onward! For Asgard!" With no hesitation on the safety of the bridge, he leapt from stone to stone before he reached the door. "Now, for what I promised." Left fist reeled back, one strike broke to door into rubble. "See! I punched it!"

"So you did. Pretty cool I have to admit. Now do it with your own strength." Tehg says snickering.

"Fine. Just make the jumps."

"On second thought, let's keep going." Tehg says while barely managing to make it across. The other two made it across with ease. At one point Alexis had grabbed onto Tehg's shirt to keep him from falling backwards into his fiery death.

"Thanks, Alexis, um I almost became bacon." Tehg says, laughing nervously.

"No problem, just try to not become crispy 'round the edges." She responds with laughing lightly.

"Hurry it on up before I leave you guys!" Lux says dashing past Steven.

"That one is going to get herself killed." Steven muttered before following after her.

"Oh, fuck. Help me!" Lux screams down the way. The three bolted towards her to find that she was surrounded by golems made of stone and metal. Across their bodies were carvings similar to the ones that were seen so far by the group.

"Okay, who expected this to happen? Show of hands." Tehg says, sighing.

"What, the golems, or her getting attacked for rushing ahead like Leeroy Jenkins?" Steven asked.

"Her being attacked. Also, Alexis, Imma need your help with this, so let's hurry and get this done." He says while readying his weapon. "You too, Steven."

"Like I don't know that." Steven said, cocking back the large war hammer as lightning cackled around the head of it.

"I don't know why...but I'm jealous of that…" Tehg comments, making his way to attack the creatures.

"If I must, I must." Alexis says. Steven, with his hammer head over his shoulder, threw the weapon, decimating one of the constructs. After a moment, it returned to his open palm.

"Show off." Tehg mutters as he thrusts his rapier into the center of one of the constructs, the weapon getting stuck in the process. "Fuck."

"That's what happens when you try to stab stone." Steven commented, smashing another with the war hammer.

"...Well fuck you too." He responds whilst trying to pry the blade free. Alexis charges in and slices down towards the one Tehg's currently occupied with cutting in half, also freeing his rapier.

"Thanks." He says before running of towards Lux. With three of the golems destroyed, Lux was free enough to draw her twin daggers and began slashing at the joints, removing limbs from bodies.

"Took you long enough." Lux says whilst cutting a leg off.

"It's your fault for running off in the first place." Tehg says, sighing and looks over to Steven. "You gonna stop being the god of thunder any time soon or…?" He asks the man.

"You wanna get electrocuted to death? Because that's what will happen if I do that."

"We're fine, thanks!" Lux answers for me in a hurried manner.

"Why would that happen?" Alexis asks.

"Well, the timer for my contracts don't start until the fifteen minutes are up. So, I either wait out the time, or expel it all at once, and you wouldn't like that."

"Oh...that sounds...fun." Tehg says. "This is starting to bore me. LIGHTNING!" He shouts firing multiple lighting balls at the constructs destroying the rest in short time.

"That, was not fun...So, expert, how far in do you think we are?" Lux asks while putting her daggers away.

"I don't know, maybe half. Haven't seen any rooms with treasure in them, so we're still pretty far from the inner chamber."

"T-treasure!?" Tehg asks.

"Yeah. How do you think I fund this shit?"

"Plutia?"

"Taxes."

"Ouch, some sister."

"Well, income tax is income tax, and some of the stuff is taken to be researched or because technically we're government employees and they can take what they want. Hence the bag. Everything we're sure we want to keep goes in there."

"Um...sister?" Alexis asks.

"Yeah, through some legally questionable means the CPU of Planeptune before Neptune showed up with me created an identity for me while also making me her sibling."

"Is she even allowed to do that?"

"Do we question the will of God, Alexis?" Tehg commented.

"Say that shit again, I dare you." She says, uncharacteristically angry, scaring Tehg. He just nods and apologizes.

"That was a thing." Steven stated before moving on. The rest follow behind. Eventually, as they made their way through the labyrinth, a flash of light signified the release of Steven's transformation. "Time...one-thirty seven p.m." He said, jotting it down on a small notebook.

"Um, is there any reason for your time keeping?" Lux asks, walking in front of the man.

"After the fifteen minute use of one of my contracts, I have to wait twenty-four hours to use it again."

"That seems a little bit harsh, no?" Alexis comments.

"The gods can't directly interact with Gamindustri, so it's more of a loophole to get around that. The only one who isn't affected by that is Lucifer for...reasons."

"Reasons?"

"Yes, reasons."

"If he isn't willing to share, than leave him be. Still be alert, it's too quiet for there not to be traps around." Tehg says whilst looking around.

"Eh, sometimes it just works out like that. Really, the only time you have to worry about those is if there's bodies around."

"Other people explore these?" Alexis asks, surprised.

"Yeah, though a lot of them don't make it. You should've seen the pile we dragged out of the one for Hecate. Both from traps and the ones that were dragged into the zombie rooms."

"That...doesn't sound fun." She says as Lux steps on something that makes a loud clunk. Moments later two cylinders of stone shot out from the walls on either side of her. She tries jumping out of the way, failing and getting crushed by the stone.

"Do you think she's dead?" Tehg asks while wincing.

"I hope not. Death looks bad in a story." She says.

"We're in a party. You can see her health."

"Wait...what?" Tehg asks confused.

"Yea, this isn't a game Steven." Alexis adds.

"But...but it is. It's in the goddamn name of the dimension! I can see it. Hell, I have a menu and shit I can go through."

"Uh...I think you need to go talk to a doctor Steven. You might have something wrong with your head." Tehg says calmly.

"Look, I can see that while she's seen better days, that she's ok, and I'll fucking prove it." He walked up to the two stones and separated them, revealing an injured but alive Lux. "And I do see a doctor. Regularly, in fact. He gives me a clean bill of health after fixing my stupid mistakes."

"I get your point...now, time to practice medicine." Tehg says with a German accent as he walks over to Lux.

"How about no, seeing as how the last time you said something about healing you said it could go horribly wrong."

"But medicine…"

"There's things for that, like medicine." The older man replied, retrieving a bottle from his inventory, which seemed like it was pulled out of thin air to the others. "Here, this should do."

"What is it?" Asked Lux in a weak voice.

"Well, the easiest way to explain it is that it's liquid ibuprofen. Even simpler is that it's a healing potion."

"Ah, ok...down the hatch then." She says downing the medicine in one. "Ack! How do you stomach that stuff!?"

"Hold my nose and pray that I don't taste it."

"Uh...how does ho-" Alexis starts but Tehg stops her by raising his hand.

"So, what're we going to do with Lux? She gonna be able to fight or…?" Tehg asks the elder.

"Well, why don't you ask her yourself?"

"Give me ten to twenty minutes and I'll be back in fighting shape." Lux answers.

"You rest then...for now, let's keep moving. Who knows what else lies in the shadows." Tehgs says then starts walking down the corridor. It wasn't long before they reached a path that inclined upwards.

"There's no way this isn't a trap." Alexis states.

"Whaaat? No… It's just an innocent walk up a hill, what could go wrong?" Tehg asks sarcastically

"Look at what I'm wearing and ask me that question again."

"Shush Indiana Jones." Alexis says. "The adults are talking."

"I'm 24, if anyone is an adult here, it's me."

"Point made." Tehg says looking up the hill. "So...how are we going to handle this?"

"Git gud." Lux says while being carried by Alexis.

"Well, I don't want to burn through a contract for one trap."

"I could transform...if only someone releases the hounds so to say." Tehg comments towards Steven.

"Um...Question mark?" He replies, tilting his head to the side.

"Okay, I maybe sorta might have blown up half of Lastation once...so from then on I can't transform without permission now."

"Only once?"

"What the hell did you do in your dimension!?" Lux asks both amazed and scared at the same time.

"Woke up Noire in the middle of the night about research, and the violence that resulted from that action."

"That sounds about right...question though...how did it get so bad?"

"Well, hellfire for starters. Then it became a game. She couldn't outright kill me, because then she'd have to deal with Plutie, so I made it very hard for her."

"Alright then. So what's the game plan?"

"Well, I don't give a damn if Tehg transforms or not. All I know is someone needs to break the boulder." He doesn't get a response as a flash of light covers the corridor for a moment. After it dies down Tehg is clad in white baggy pants, a black cloak with red trims and a hood, no shoes or shirt, long black spiky hair and blue eyes. Finally he has a long staff as a weapon.

"Ah, it's good to be back in this form again." Tehg says while cracking his knuckles.

"Neat, now go do the thing."

"Yes sir…" Tehg says dejectedly. He then walks up the slope slowly before setting off the trap, a boulder starts rolling down the hill and instead of turning and running, Tehg just raises his staff and shoots a small orb towards it, once it hits it, well...explosions. All that was left was a few bits of rubble.

"The area's clear, just watch out for anymore traps."

"You really know how to handle a staff, don't you?" Alexis says with a smirk.

"Shush, you." Tehg says walking up the slope again. "How much further do you think it is? I'm starting to get bored...these temples sounded cool, but there just full of old stuff and don't get me started on the scenery or lack thereof." Tehg starts ranting.

"That old stuff is worth a lot, and bitching about the decor isn't going to change anything, so suck it up. This isn't meant to be exciting. It's archeology, a science, a study of what has come before. It's a learning experience, not a theme park."

"Isn't this technically grave robbing?" Lux asks.

"It would be if we were in a tomb, not a temple."

"Oh...as you were then." The hallway that they turned to after going up the slope had several rooms along the one side. Unlike a good amount of the areas they had been in so far, these ones were lit, the light pooling out the bottom of the iron doors.

"Newbies get to pick first room." Steven said to the three.

"Ladies first." Tehg says pointing to Lux and Alexis.

"Cut the gentlemanly bullshit." Lux says.

"Tehg…" Alexis starts in a dark tone. "Wait, where'd he go?" She asks, looking around and spots him dashing through one of the doors.

"That…*sigh*...fucking amateurs. You don't just run into the room." The veteran groaned.

"Uh guys, a little help!" Tehg cries out.

"See. Don't run into the room. Bad things happen when you do." The man lectured to the two that were with him before going into the door Tehg entered. "Oh, not this shit again."

"Get this crazy lady off of me!" Tehg shouts, trying to get the woman with long pink hair off of him.

"Mm...nah...Think of this as a lesson. Also, she looks good on you." Steven stated.

"You listen here you little shit, get her off me!" He shouts with her still refusing to get off the man.

"Who wants popcorn?" Lucifer asks, startling the two girls.

"Oh! Uh, I guess I'll take some, will make the show more entertaining." Lux says smirking.

"Hey, that's mean!" Alexis says.

"But it's funny." Steven and the Devil said at the same time.

"I'll owe you big if you help me?" Tehg pleaded.

"Look, I've already dealt with a Servant before. Honestly, don't want to deal with it again."

"I'll owe you two…?"

"Can't you just, you know, politely ask instead of making demands?" He suggested in turn.

"Oh yea...crazy lady can you PLEASE get off me?"

"Yeah, 'cuz calling her crazy will help." Satan commented.

"Why are you even here!?" Tehg snapped at the Devil.

"Got bored, saw you suffering. You know, Devil stuff."

"Will you guys kindly shut up?" The lady asks.

"Nope. I don't bow for anyone. Ask my old man, God, queen of Connacht." Lucifer quipped.

"She's...oh my." Tehg says while the two females of the group just face palm at Lucifer's shit.

"So you know who I am? Who are you?" She asks while getting off of Tehg, the latter cheering for joy at the turn of events.

"Why, I'm Satan, of course!" The man replied flamboyantly, adding a British accent towards the end.

"The devil himself, hmm? Interesting. But you're not really threatening, though." The Queen says.

"Well, yea, I'm basically a glorified phantom at the moment, being in the cage and all. Him, on the other hand, he's a bundle of fun if you piss him off." He replied, pointing a thumb towards his contractor.

"That a fact…? Anyway, let me introduce myself formally." She says mainly towards Tehg. "I am Queen Medb. A pleasure to make your acquaintance." She curtsies then lowers a hand to help Tehg help. As he takes her hand he introduces himself to her.

"Um...Is anyone else still confused?" Lux asked.

"Actually yeah, I am a bit confused. Can someone please explain? You seemed to know something, Steven." Tehg asks the man.

"You, like my adopted daughter, accidentally summoned a Servant, someone from the past that became a legend. Monika summoned Caster."

"Never heard of a caster in legend...but huh, neat. Do you come with tricks Medb?"

"I'm not a pet! I am of the Rider class, and a queen. Show me the respect I deserve!" Medb says angrily.

"But Servants are fancy familiars, are they not? Caster doesn't seem to mind. Then again, I think it's just an excuse for...things…"

"I am not some lowly familiar!"

"Yes you are, by technicality if nothing else." Lucifer commented.

"You have no say in this encaged devil." Medb retorted.

"I still have a few tricks up my sleeve." He said enigmatically, snapping his fingers. With a sudden lurch the Rider was pinned to the wall. "I may be stuck, but I'm still an archangel."

"Can you stop now? Your fighting is giving me a headache." Tehg almost pleads.

"As soon as she stops acting high and mighty, sure."

"I don't think she can…" Alexis comments.

"*sigh*...If only Daddy dearest didn't make that damn cup in the first place." Lucifer muttered, letting her go.

"I thank you." Medb says.

"Next room? Next room." Alexis says, leaving the room to go towards the next.

"So who's the man who looks like a lady?" Medb asks the others.

"Currently she actually a girl, however...you're not wrong if it was say...six hours later." Tehg answers her.

"Holy hell!" Alexis cried out.

"Who wants to bet that she's in trouble?" Lux asks pulling out some credits.

"Sure, why not? Not like I'm losing anything substantial." Steven said, matching her amount. "I bet she found something interesting."

"Count me in on this." Tehg says pulling the amount out too. "Imma bet she in trouble."

"Gambling over a friends life, shame I say." Medb says disappointedly.

"Not a friend. Acquaintance at best." Steven countered. "Just met her today after this fucker woke me up at three in the morning. And yes, I'm holding a grudge." He finished, pointing an accusing finger at Tehg.

"Wow. Cold. And how was I supposed to know the time difference...it's not like I have a sister who live...oh." Tehg starts saying before coming to a realization.

"Yeah. Speaking of whom, she's waiting for a phone call from you, you know." It was not a question, but a statement.

"I'll get to it when we're done here, I think it should be morning or early afternoon by time we're done here." Tehg guessed.

"And if you don't, well, I guess Rider here has the riding crop." (Haha...oh fuck)( **I don't forget** )

"I get it, I get it. Heck I might even visit her!" He says panicking slightly.

"Wait, don't do that quite yet. I don't need Plutie holing up in her room making another plush. One time she didn't leave for days."

"That's a problem for me how?"

"She'll have to get a real close look at you. She likes to be accurate." Just to tease, he gave the younger man a wink.

"I...uh...might not be opposed to that." Tehg says with instant regret.

"Yeah, being bound up by a sadist so you can't run away would be fun for you, huh?" (You can stop anytime soon!)( **I'm done, I'm done...For now.** )

"Can we go check on her please? I need to know if I won the bet." Lux urges the group before running out to check on her.

"Should we follow?" Tehg asks.

"We won't find out who won unless we do." Lux said, leaving.

"I too, am quite curious." Medb says walking out. The last two follow suit soon after.

As they walk in they see Alexis diving headfirst into a pile of weaponry on the floor.

"Loot!" She cheers.

"Oh my, how uncouth." Medb says while walking over and inspecting a whip that was left on the floor before throwing it away.

"Well, I win, and at the same time I lose." Steven chuckled, shaking his head.

"Sucks to suck...oooh rapiers! I'll be like half an hour. And here's ya fookin' money." Tehg says throwing it over whilst running over to said weapons.

"Alright St. Patty's day, settle down."

"Just because I can down pints and you can't?" Tehg retorts.

"Who gives a damn?" Lux said, shoving her way through people to reach into the pile. From it she removed daggers similar to her own, except that the hilts were gold and had black jewels embedded in them. "See? Not hard."

"But it's hard finding the right blade with the right balance and so on. It isn't easy you know." Tehg says while giving one of them a test swing. He finally decides on a blade seemingly made out of crystal, the hilt is silver with a blue gem imbued in the bottom. The blade itself was made of crystal, and the guard had two bent z-shaped formations that crossed over the base of the blade. Finally the guard at the top was triangle shaped to fit the guard. "Looks like I got an upgrade. So you guys find anything?" At his hip was a matching sheath that had two blades on either side, with holes in so that the sword could be drawn without him cutting himself.

"I found a blade I never thought I would." Alexis says holding out a sword with a black leather grip, an eagle head as the pommel and eagle wings as the guard.

"You better not break that." Tehg says.

"If you break that, I break you." Steven added.

"Break me all you want." Alexis replied with a wink.

"Um...Well then...Sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm engaged. To his sister's clone." He replied, and Tehg waved.

"Finally realized it huh?" Tehg asked Steven.

"She made it obvious enough for me right there."

"Huh...uh, you alright Alexis?" He asks, he just gets a nod in response.

"Now, now, was that any way to treat them?" Medb asks Steven.

"Sometimes it's better to nip it at the bud, so it's not as painful later on. Also, I don't like the idea of being with multiple people. My wife-to-be is more than enough."

"Ouch, kick her while she's down why don't you." Tehg comments.

"Got what she deserve." Lux says before walking off.

"Hey, I'd rather have this not have become something even more awkward than it is. Sorry about being so blunt, but I'm not sorry for saying it." Steven commented, also leaving. The rest follow behind with Alexis dragging at the back. The last few rooms had various jewels and other such artifacts that were distributed evenly. After exploring the temples corridors for a while, they eventually reach what looks to be the main chamber.

"So, uh, when does the boss thing appear?" Tehg asks, looking around nervously.

"When I try to get the crystal over there on the pedestal. It'll sink into the ground, something will come out of the hole that is opened, and fun times for everyone."

"You think we're high enough level to beat the boss?" Tehg asks with a hint of sarcasm.

"Me? Yes. Rider? Yes. You guys…? Probably not."

"Imma take that as a yes. Go on, grab it and let's do this." Tehg says with the others.

"There's no grabbing it until the thing is dead." The older male deadpanned while moving forward. He saw that the crystal that sat on the podium looked like something he had seen before. "...It's the fucking Adamant Orb…It's the fucking Adamant Orb! Alright, folks, get ready to deal with some time bullshit!" He yelled, grabbing at the stone. It immediately did exactly as he described, and out of the hole emerged a large automaton. Its entire body seemed to be made up of clockwork gears. In an instant, it moved across the room with Steven in tow, smashing him into a wall. "Ow."

"You alright? Looked like it hurt." Lux asks while drawing her daggers. Before she can fully draw them, however, the automaton appears before her smacking her into the ground. "Ow ok, never mind."

"Yeah. If it wasn't for Thor I'd be a fine red paste. Orcus!" Out of a pillar of shadows stepped a suit of black armor with white highlights. The helmet appeared to be a skull and several of the armor plate on the arms, legs, and waist looked like coffins. The staff he used had turned bone white and had a scythe blade of darkness. The back of the armor was hidden by a cloak of shadows. "Let's see how you like this!" He cried, charging with the weapon raised. The blade bit into the metal, damaging it, but it didn't seem like it made that much of an impact.

"Let me assist." Tehg says aiming his staff and firing multiple ice shards at the automaton freezing some of its gears. "That hopefully should slow it down." Alexis then charges in slashing at the gears, however the blade does nothing bouncing off whenever she attacks. The ice slowly cracked before breaking, allowing for movement once more.

"Aim for joints and pins! We have a better chance if we take it apart!" Steven commanded.

"Sir yes sir." Tehg responds enthusiastically and shoots at ice at the joints until he gets slapped back by the automaton. "That...really hurts." Medb then tries striking from behind...all it really does is annoy it.

"You might as well have patted it on the back." Lux stated to the Heroic Spirit.

"No need to rub it in!" The queen shouts. "At least I tried."

"Why not use your Noble Phantasm?" Steven asked.

"We're underground...would you like to die along with it?" She asks seriously.

"Hm...With Hecate's help I could probably magic us out of here, but that still leaves the issue of getting the crystal..." The man replied, honestly thinking over the option.

"Uh guys, it's great that you're strategizing but a little help would be appreciated." Tehg complains while barely keeping the machine away.

"Is there a core or anything?" Alexis asked.

"Thanks for asking. It's hard to see through the gears, but I think there is." Tehg replays hurriedly.

"Think you can get it to stay still for long enough for someone to get a solid hit in?" Steven asked before being punched by the machine, cracks forming in the macabre armor.

"Um, I believe I can, but the window wouldn't be long."

"Doesn't need to be long to break something."

"Alright then, on your call I'll keep it still for you."

"Hit it!" Alexis and Lux both targeted several gears in its legs, bring it to its knees while Tehg froze it in place. With a grunt of effort, Steven threw his weapon, sending the blade into the center of the clockwork monstrosity. The light that it had for eyes dimmed and it crashed to the ground. "Well, that makes getting my staff back that much harder."

"Well you wanted to kill it, so suck it up." Lux says mockingly.

"I swear, my boot is gonna go so far up that kid's ass…" The man muttered under his breath, hefting the remains up enough to retrieve his weapon. "Might as well grab something from here while I'm at it." Pocketing some of the gears as well as the broken core, he dropped it, allowing the pieces to make a mighty thud.

"The pieces even worth anything?" Tehg asks.

"Probably, at least to a techie. R&D would have a field day with this stuff."

"Huh. Well go claim your prize god tamer, we will be over here waiting." Tehg says ushering the others to step back.

"Would you call it taming with this guy? More like the gods making him their bitch." Lux says to torment Steven.

"Okay! My foot! Your ass! Right now!" He yelled, running at her. Tehg holds his staff out in an attempt to trip Steven up as he runs toward her. Avoiding the attempt, the man brought his foot around, kicking her a la Chuck Norris. (Ok…) "Take that!" He huffed before moving on to this gem that had risen from the ground. Taking the jagged stone in his hand, he crushed it and his world turned black. All he heard was a deafening roar before his vision returned to normal. In his mind, a sort of explanation was drilled into him about his new ability. "Huh...Neat. Gonna have to look into ways to stop my heart without killing myself. 'Tia's gonna be pissed when she catches me practicing this one."

"You know, I could inform her of this…" Tehg says chuckling. "Still, that vagueness scares me...and I don't think I want to know what you can do."

"Let's just leave it at Dialga and call it a day."

"I knew it!" Alexis shouts out of nowhere.

"Um Alexis, what are you going on about?" Tehg asks confused.

"Well, I wondered who the god would be and I tried reading the things on the wall, and it turned out I was right." Alexis says proudly.

"Yeah, well I can definitely say this was unexpected. Who would've thought that I'd make a contract with a Pokémon? Lucy's probably flipping his shit right now, and the only one that would be truly calm about this is Thor."

"Huh, yeah...Well, think we should get out of here? I wouldn't put it past the temple to collapse now." Tehg says sighing.

"They normally don't do that. One did, but that's because I was making sure all the spiders died."

"I don't blame you." Alexis says albeit a bit quietly.

"Okay, let's bounce." The older male said, dispelling the deathly armor and leading the way out. Tehg follows suit with his transformation finally and follows, with the rest following behind. The journey back wasn't nearly as bad as the way in...Though Tehg complained when they had to jump on the platforms again. Nobody paid him any mind, not even his Servant. After that it wasn't long until they saw daylight, well the afternoon sky.

"It feels like forever since I've seen the surface. How long was it that we were down there?" Alexis asks to no one in particular.

"Five hours. Maybe six." Steven answered.

"Jeez, remind me not to go temple crawling again. They take too long." Tehg complains.

"Master, you shouldn't complain so much. It reflects poorly on how people see you and company involved." Medb says.

"Is that true?"

"Does it matter? We have stuff to cash in." Lux stated.

"Oh yea...payday here I come!" Tehg cheers.

"Is he always like this?" Medb asks everyone.

"Not always, but he is sometimes." Alexis answers.

"And he's solely your problem now." Steven chided.

"Joy." Medb says with fake enthusiasm. The walk home was rather interesting, with Medb trying to get her Master into one of her Noble Phantasms. Otherwise, it was an uneventful walk. Waving goodbye, the explorer was sent home by the tome.

The end is nigh! **Oh, don't you start. You wanted this, after all. You could've picked someone else, I gave you the option.** I know, still. Glad we finally got it done. **Yeah, it's been a bit tough figuring out times, but it worked out. All's well that ends well.** Aye aye, so unless you have anything to say, I'll see you guys next time. **Nope, I'm good. Peace.**


	12. The Bells, they Ring

Chapter 12: The Bells, they Ring

 **Hello hello, dear readers. Welcome back to another collab with this nerd.** I take that with pride. **I bet you do.** Anyway...four hours I waited for this so let's not dawdle... **Hey, you're the one that started messaging me WHILE I WAS IN THE SHOWER!** 'Ladies, please, settle down.' Oh yea...almost forgot about you. Fine though, he ain't worth it. **We could end this shit here and now if I ain't worth it.**...um... **That's what I thought. On with the show!**

It was a day like any other for Steven. He woke up, saw that his daughter and daughter-to-eventually-be were gone, and made breakfast for himself and his fiance. That, however, was off put by the fact that it was just days before his wedding and that he was getting a phone call much earlier than ever. Well, except for one other time, but he's still annoyed by that.

"Hello?" Steven asked.

"Hey is this the pizza guy?" The voice asked in turn.

"Tehg, I know your voice. Do you really want to do this?"

"Damnit...Thought it'd be long enough for you to forget my voice...Anyway, the wedding hasn't been called off right?"

"Wait, wedding?" A voice asked in the back.

"Shit, uh, sorry for not telling you Edgar…" Tehg says starting to panic a bit.

"Why would it be...? Is he the one from the hole?"

"Um, hello? Who is this?" A old voice calls out.

"My name is Steven. I'm assuming from what Tehg said that you're Edgar."

"Aye, that I am...Now can you explain what this wedding is about please as I believe I have been uninformed." He says calmly.

"That fucking...Ugh...He's an idiot. I told him he had two guests he could bring, and here I thought he'd tell them what he was inviting them to. I want to assume you know about Cynthia."

"Aye, I know of her."

"Well, about a year ago I proposed to her and she said yes, so...wedding…" Neither Tehg nor Edgar says anything for a minute.

"I see...I can also see why Alexis was hurting while talking about you." He says while chuckling.

"I'm glad I did it then instead of now still. It would've been that much worse. So, what can I do for you folks? 'Tia's still upstairs sleeping, but I don't think she'd mind being woken up for family."

"That isn't why we called." Tehg says, finally recovered. "We might need some help finding where we need to go, you know...different dimension and all that?"

"Ah, alright. That shouldn't be an issue, though I'm not sure I know the city as well as I used to." He replied. "'Tia's the better navigator of us, and my memory isn't the greatest."

"Ah, I see. Well I guess wake her up then?" Tehg says unsure of himself.

"Okay. One moment." The three on the end of the phone could hear the sounds of someone racing up stairs. "Hey, 'Tia. Wake up. I need your help with something."

"What is it?" She groaned, just loud enough for them to hear.

"Your brother, Alexis, and man named Edgar are here and need directions. They're on the phone right now."

"You didn't wake me up?"

"They didn't ask to talk to you. They just wanted to ask for directions and interrogate me about the wedding. I told them you do the whole navigation thing better."

"Fine, just...let me get dressed." She said after a minute of trying to fall back asleep.

"Cynthia, get your lazy ass down here!" Tehg shouts, hoping to be heard.

"Shut your mouth, you brat, I'm up." Cynthia grumbled. After a few minutes of cloth ruffling, she spoke back up. "Alright, let's go. You're getting me something on the way though."

"Yes dear." Steven replied to his fiance's demands. "We're on our way. Be there in a few. Bye." With a click he hung up and began walking, stopping at a local bakery for her breakfast. Ten minutes later the two entered the Basilicom's Sanctuary.

"Good morning." Cynthia greeted to everyone in the room.

"Hello, Cynthia, Steven." Histoire said in return.

"You're late." Tehg says whilst lying on a couch casually.

"And you're still annoying." She replied.

"You wound me, still it's my job to be annoying." Tehg says while giving a grin.

"Um, hey…" Alexis says shyly.

"Greetings, Steven. Hello Cynthia." Edgar says politely.

"You are taller than I expected. I didn't think I'd meet someone as tall as Johnny, given the average height here."

"That's the females that are small. You do have a point though."

"I've met guys here too. They're not short, but they aren't very tall either. Like Souji."

"He has a point there. They're both rather small, and you're rather big Edgar." Alexis comments.

"Where is everyone?" Steven asked. "Usually the rugrats are around."

"Irisviel insisted that they were taken to get their dresses. She said that the flower girls could not go without special ones." Histoire responded. "Plutia and Johnny went out on a Quest. Something about wanting to jog memories"

"Oh no. Oh no no no." Steven muttered. "This is bad for me."

"Oh yes it is…" Tehg says grumbling. "So, Steven, remember when my sister came to visit?"

"Yes. I'm assuming you're getting at the thing I can do now."

"Why the hell did you let Plutia near her…?"

"Oh. OH! That. Um...because I could? Also, she can be scary in the mornings."

"True...Still, don't you think she went just a bit too far by making her question her sexuality!?" Tehg questions him.

"Look, it happens. It could've happened without Plutie doing her thing. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Whatever...So what was you worried about with Plutia and Johnny?"

"Maid of Honor and Best Man respectively." Cynthia answered.

"Hehehehe. Shouldn't of told me that Cynthia...Where are they?"

"Worry about that later." Edgar stated. "We have somewhere we have to find."

"Ah, yes...you're right. We need directions to where the weddings happening...a chapel I'm presuming?"

"Actually, not quite." Steven said. "I'm not exactly sure what you'd call that room downstairs."

"Oh, that room Histoire never let me in whenever I visited." Tehg says whilst laughing nervously.

"It is reserved for ceremonies such as this. We would not like to ruin the venue for others, would we?" Histoire asked rhetorically.

"I'm surprised you have such a place here in the Basilicom. Things really are different." Edgar says in a semi quiet tone.

"Plutia, the first of the CPUs of this Planeptune, wanted it for such occasions. She enjoys when people are brought together, and it gives her an excuse to witness the proceedings."

"That sounds like her alright." Tehg comments.

"How do you know what Plutia is like?" Cynthia asks.

"I talked to her a few when I came to visit you."

"Oh. She never mentioned it."

"Huh, well doesn't matter much. Anyway, now that I know where I need to go, Imma go find Ploot and Johnny." Tehg says while running and jumping out the window.

"Our Histoire has tried to stop him from doing that...I apologise for him. Also, how high up are we?" Alexis asks no one in particular.

"High enough that I'll laugh when we find out his dumbass hurt himself." Steven replied. "We're in a tower, after all."

"It's a good thing I taught him how to fly whilst transformed then." Edgar says while smirking.

"Oh, he can too. Neat. Disappointing, but neat."

"S-since when could you fly!?" Alexis asks in surprise.

"I can using Thor's GCG and since I started getting creative with wind magic."

"And you never learned how to land." Cynthia commented afterwards.

"Why land when you can slam into something like a missle?"

"And break your bones in the process too?" Alexis asks/comments.

"Nope. Thor's contract makes me sturdy as hell. Or, more like an oak, given that he's also the god of oak trees." ( **I wish I was lying** ) (...)

"Ah, the Norse god...You know some lesser deities then?" Edgar asks.

"Edgar. Looks like you got out of your hole. Maybe my time'll come around then." Lucifer said, manifesting as his Astral Projection.

"Satan himself has greeted me? I am honoured." Edgar says sarcasm dripping from his voice. "So, what are you doing here, eh? Shouldn't you be locked away in your little bird cage?"

"It's Saturday. Me and the kid go out for beers tonight. Also came to give you a little advice, Pagan. The kid's about as protective of us as we are of him. Might be smart to watch what you say."

"Now why would I ever say anything to antagonize him or the rest of your merry band…? Still... Fine. I guess I'll take your advice to heart. I have my own problems to deal with."

"Okay then. We still on for tonight?"

"You aren't throwing him a bachelor party, Lucifer." Cynthia stated. "The one Johnny has planned will probably be bad enough. You'll just add property damage."

"Lucy, she has a point. You tend to get...rowdy." Steven added.

"When is he not rowdy?" Edgar asks while grumbling.

"You'd be surprised. Honestly, he can be patient as hell, no pun intended, when teaching things. Where are you three staying?" Steven asked, aiming to change the subject.

"Unless someone is willing to put us up with a place to stay until the weddings over with, probably a hotel or something...so nothing out the ordinary." Alexis answers.

"You can stay with us." Cynthia suggested.

"What about Monika? She gets anxious with a lot of people in small rooms, and most of ours are." Steven countered.

"She has Iri, she'll be alright, and after this week they'll probably be around more."

"Fair point. Do we have the room though? With the one room taken up for when we have kids, we've only got the one spare. I don't think we need to worry about Plutie popping by, but…"

"Plutia just offered to house us." Tehg says appearing out of nowhere. "So there's no need to worry about room."

"That's fine. Problem solved." Steven said, plopping onto a nearby couch.

"So have you had your bachelor party or is it going to be soon…?" Tehg asks unsure.

"Don't know, and don't really want one." He replied. "I mean, where do I go? I have beers with Satan and have had sex with my fiance as a girl. How do you top my already insane life?"

"Oh um...dammit you have a point there…" Tehg says thinking. "You could just have a drink with the guys? It doesn't have to top it."

"He already has drinks with the guys. They use his transforming to get free drinks regularly. Also, babe, dealing with you drunk isn't fun. You get all depressed." Cynthia stated.

"So...am I only one seeing this?" Tehg asks out of nowhere while patting where Cynthia's left ear should be.

"Ah, you're missing an ear, aren't you Cynthia? How did this happen?" Edgar asks with a worried look.

"I...don't like talking about it…" She muttered quietly.

"Trust me, from what I saw in that place, she'd be better off forgetting." Steven said.

"Very well, you have caught my attention with this 'place', however, time and place." Edgar says with a soft smile towards Cynthia.

"Thank you for understanding. I'll tell everyone...someday." Everyone nods as Tehg gives Cynthia a give to try and comfort her.

"Well this got depressing. Wanna go do something to cheer up?" Alexis offers.

"Have anything in mind? We've done a lot of the stuff around here, but it'd be fine because you guys haven't." Steven replied.

"Hmm, what do you guys recommend, not exactly from this dimension."

"We could always go poke the hornet's nest know as Blanc for the fun of it?" Tehg asks jokingly.

"There is a natural history museum that has recently opened. There is an exhibit dedicated to the things that the three of you have found over the years." Histoire stated.

"Why go to a museum when you could just ask someone who was around then?" Edgar asks rhetorically.

"Because it's the hard work humanity has put in to understand the world around them as well as what has come before." Steven responded.

"I guess that makes sense…"

"Sounds like a cool idea, though they are tad boring." Tehg says while plopping down on a sofa.

"Sounds fun." Alexis comments.

"I wonder what we'll see. We have found a lot." Cynthia laughed shortly after. "We really don't do anything else, do we?"

"Not really. It makes us more money than any of the Guilds Quests."

"You work for those heretics!?" Edgar shouts in anger.

"Heretics? The Guild works closely with the Basilicom and CPUs have authority over them." Histoire stated. "A response like that is not fitting for the Guild of this world." Edgar regains his composure and coughs a few times.

"I apologise. I was out of line." He says begrudgingly.

"Your apology is accepted, though I would like to insist that you remember that this not the world you created." The fairy said, pressing the matter.

"How do you...nevermind..It matters not." Edgar starts but stops. "But you are right, again I apologise."

"Why don't we get going?" Cynthia said. "I'm going to call Monika and see if they want to join us with the children when they're done."

"Let us be off then." Edgar says, wanting to be gone ASAP.

The walk was tranquil, the three taking in the sights as the two natives talked about the different areas they passed.

"It's, uh, bigger than I thought it'd be." Steven stated, looking at the several story tall building.

"Oh boy, that's one big building." Tehg says looking up towards the roof.

"The architect needs praising for his work!" Edgar says joyfully.

"You sure it looks good, I mean…" Alexis says unsure.

"So we heading in or not?" Tehg asks towards his guides.

"Of course." Cynthia said. When the group entered through the door, Tehg was greeted to a small child's head to the diaphragm.

"Oh fu-oh small child...dammit can't swear. Why with the head butts?" Tehg complains before falling to the ground and cries to himself.

"Peashy…" Monika growled. "What have I told you about that?"

"Sowwy…" The 2 year old child responded.

"Hi Monika...ow the pain...I see the light!" Tehg mutters at the end.

"Good, go to it. That's what you get for fueling Johnny and Plutie's fire."

"That was then, this is now...oh god the pain! How can a kid hurt me so much!?" Tehg screams to the heavens.

"The diaphragm is a thin muscle littered with nerves." Steven responded, with Iri nodding in agreement.

"You can stop pretending now Tehg…" Alexis comments.

"Fiiine. Was getting old anyway. So how ya doing Monika, Irisviel…huh...First Medb, now you. What do ya know?" Tehg says whilst getting up.

"Do you know me?" Iri asked, Iffy's hand in hers.

"Uh...sh-long story." Tehg says panicking a little. "Um, I heard about you from Steven?" He more questions than answers.

"Oh, okay then!" She replied cheerfully. "I was hoping you'd be able to help me with my memory, but I'm starting to think I'm fine without them."

"You have amnesia?"

"It's an effect of her summoning. I touched a pre-drawn circle on accident, so it wasn't done right."

"I summoned Medb by accident and she still has her memories...There could be another reason for it all..." Tehg says while theorising. "Oh. Uh let's carry on." The now much larger group paid for their tickets, getting a discount due to the two contributors to the new exhibit.

"Ooh! Look!" Compa cheered, looking at a red gem within the geology section of the museum.

"Look. look! It's pretty-I mean, it's cool...yea." Alexis says going a bit red with embarrassment.

"You've been stuck in that form for two months now, you don't have to hold back." Edgar says to the girls chagrin.

"Stuck? Didn't you say you did a werewolf thing with your man-self when I was over with you guys?" Steven asked.

"Well, after you left the god that made me like this decided it'd be funny to leave me in this form permanently." Alexis explains.

"I don't think you should tell her." Cynthia whispered.

"No. No I won't."

"Tell me what?" Alexis asks tilting her head.

"Nothing important. Mostly how you got the short end of the stick when it comes to gods." Steven replied. "A god of death is nicer than the one you deal with."

"Tell me about it. And I thought you had bad luck from what I heard."

"I do. Luckily, they picked me, and not the other way around."

"Yea luck- ooh shiny things." Alexis says being distracted by another exhibit and so she wanders off.

"Oh, that was close." Steven sighed, wiping off his brow.

"Why were you avoiding telling her something?" Iri asked.

"Well, if she, who was originally a he, learned that I could change at will between the two, I think there'd be a problem."

"He makes a fair point, not even I would know how she'd react." Tehg says walking over.

"Probably poorly." Monika says. "I know people well enough to know that she'll either become depressed or angry."

"You sound like you speak from experience." Tehg says.

"You know that I do, Tehg." Monika replied, a scowl actually forming on her face to the surprise of those who knew her well.

"Hmm..oh. OH! Sorry, sorta maybe kinda forgot?" He says hoping for forgiveness from her.

"Hmph." She huffed, moving on with her two children. (Phrasing~)

"I messed up, didn't I?"

"Yes, yes you did. These things happen though. You just need to make up with her." Edgar says. "You do know why she's angry, right?" He asks.

"Yes…" he responds as he gathers his resolve and follows after Monika.

"I have to say though, this is an amazing exhibit. Your job is to go out and collect stuff like this, correct?"

"Well, sort of. It's more of a justification to go about and do our thing." Cynthia responded. "It is pretty fun though."

"The ring I proposed to her with has the very first gem we found in it." Steven added.

"I take it it was done for sentimental reasons? Either way I just spotted some stuff I need to check out." He says starting to walking off.

"Um...everyone's gone…" Iri said to the two remaining adults.

"Wanna just wander?" Cynthia asked.

"We really don't have a choice in the matter, do we?" Steven countered. The various groups wandered for a few hours. Coincidentally ( **Not really** ) they all met up at the exhibit that used Steven and Cynthia's discoveries.

"So many shiny things." Alexis mutters seemingly in awe.

"Hey, I remember that! We found that in Artemis' temple." Steven said, pointing at the robot like backpack.

"That doesn't look like it's from the past…" Edgar comments.

"From Artemis', huh." Tehg says, studying the thing.

"Yeah. We were surprised by it too, but then realized that different civilizations develop at different speeds, and the one it came from could have reached that point before fading." Cynthia reported to the group.

"Makes sense. Through history, there are bound to be a lot of advanced civilisations that we are unaware of, no?" Edgar asks.

"More or less. Hey, Iri, there's a piece from the temple you were summoned at. It was from Hecate. That there is a piece of a pot or vase. They were used to record stories and display them for visitors." Steven explained.

"Reminds me of the Egyptians...not sure which is cooler though." Tehg says while thinking to himself.

"The Egyptians did their stuff on walls though. The pottery was mostly used by the Greeks and the Romans. Fitting, isn't it?" The older young man commented.

"Who are these Greeks and...actually, nevermind." Edgar started but went into deep thought afterwards.

"The Romans did that too?" Alexis asks, curios.

"Yup, though not nearly as often, given the rise of things like painting."

"Makes sense, so what else ya find?" Tehg asks starting to become interested.

"Let's see...We found that broken sword in Lucifer's temple. He said it was his before he fell, and the fact that scientists can't even prove that the metal is real kind of confirms it."

"The devil's sword? It's in quite a sorry state now." Edgar says.

"Looks like it would of been a cool sword to use." Tehg comments dejectedly.

"He said that when I'm using his GCG it's that sword before it was shattered. I'm surprised you two don't recognize some of the stuff in here." Steven said to Tehg and Alexis.

"Oh I do, but the stuff I don't is far more interesting." Tehg explains. "However it was fun exploring Dialga's temple."

"Oh yea, that was a trip...never again. No offence Steven but it isn't for me." Alexis says with an apologetic smile.

"That's fine. Honestly, I'm still surprised she puts up with me. Oh, see that mostly still intact spear over there?" Steven asked the group. "Apparently that's Gungnir, spear of Thor's father, Odin."

"Don't tempt me." Tehg says bluntly.

"The enchantments that made it so dangerous have worn off due to the separation of the deities from this world. Instead of always hitting true when thrown, it's just a really ornate spear."

"Still, don't tempt me." Tehg reiterated. "So how much more is in here anyway?"

"A bit, but nothing as spectacular." Cynthia said. "There's still the other side of the exhibit, after all."

"Let's check it out." Alexis says before rushing off.

"I guess we should follow her?" Edgar asks the group.

"She is fun to watch." Iri pointed out. "The kids seem to like her too, though I think it's because she shares their energy."

"She's normally quiet and reserved, I think ever since she became stuck like this she became a bit more open and energetic. It's nice to see to be honest." Tehg says.

"Ah, coping mechanisms, how you hide how we truly feel." Steven said with content sarcasm.

"Hm? What you getting at?"

"She's covering how she really feels with a mask of cheerfulness. Monika did the same for a while." Cynthia elaborated, explaining her husband-to-be's words.

"Thank you, hmm, this seem like a problem to solve later...fuck um I mean duck...yea, duck." Tehg complains to himself.

"Should we catch her? Maybe I could help." Monika suggested.

"I might take you up on that offer...actually on second thought yes, I'll go catch her, Edgar...you do some party tricks or something to keep them entertained." Tehg says as he dashes after her. Edgar just stares in the direction of where he left.

"Ok then." Edgar says sighing.

"Sounds like you need to come with me later for a beer." Steven said.

"Steven. No. You are not getting drunk with my grandfather days before our wedding."

"Can you really get drunk off of one beer?"

"Steven James Stanton!"

"No, not the mom voice!"

"Cynthia, if he wants to take me out for a drink...which honestly I'm two thousand years overdue for. Why can't he?" Edgar asks her.

"Because I'm a pyro, and things start burning with hellfire when I go too far. I don't know how much of that is me, and how much is Lucy trying to make a funny, but still. There are many bars I'm not allowed to anymore."

"Very well then, another time perhaps?"

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"Children. I'm surrounded by children in adult bodies." Cynthia grumbled, face in hand.

"You should lighten up." Iri suggested. "The happiest day of your life is only two days away, and you're winding yourself up too much."

"The spirit does have a point, though I do owe an apology for taking it too far." Edgar says lowering his head.

"It's okay. Like you said, Iri has a point. I do need to relax."

"I got her-ow! Not the face!" Tehg calls out dragging Alexis down the hall.

"Iri, do you have something for...that?" Cynthia asked, pointing to the thing that was likely to get them removed from the property.

"Get 'im!" IF cheered from Irisviel's side.

"Well this is disheartening. I said not the face!" Tehg complains getting punched in the face. The three children cheered at the act of physical violence, clearly influenced by the thoughts of those that take up permanent residence at the Basilicom. "Ok, that's enough. And throw!" He throws her towards the group after getting punched again, making him lose his patience.

"He is aware of where he is...right?" Edgar asks no one in particular.

"I don't think he cares right now." Monika observed. "I think it might be smart to distance ourselves from him."

"I'm fine Monika, just annoyed that SOMEONE...er guys, why are you leaving me? Guys!?" Tehg shouts before feeling a hand on his shoulder.

"Sir, come with us to the exit please." Someone with security written on their shirt says and waits to see if Tehg resists or not.

"Oh god damnit...fine." (1 down how many left to go.) and so Tehg was escorted out while the rest of the group explored the rest of the museum. Once that was done, the group left and saw Tehg on a bench, clearly waiting for them, but none too happy about the fact.

"So, have fun without me?" Tehg asks, not sounding too happy.

"I did!" The three kids cheered.

"You had fun looking at old rocks and stuff?"

"They were cool." IF responded.

"Good for you." Tehg says, moping.

"You can't complain when you got yourself kicked out." Edgar says bluntly.

"He's got a point." Monika pointed out.

"Oh shut it, I know...On another topic can we get moving? This bench isn't very comfortable." Tehg says, trying to move the conversation to another topic.

"Again, all your fault." Steven said. "But yeah, we can get going. It's around lunch time, anyway."

"Ooh, food sounds good. Know any good places?" Alexis asked.

"A couple. There's a couple diners and places like that." Cynthia replied.

"Sounds good, lead the way." Tehg and Alexis say in unison. The place they went was a hole-in-the-wall place close to the Basilicom. It wasn't really crowded, even with the time of day, which worked well in their favor.

"Nice atmosphere...Now do they have nice food, that's the question." Alexis says scanning a menu.

"Easy, now. I do share your question if its good or bad however." Edgar says slowly reading a menu.

"I like it. Monika and I come here for dates sometimes after work." Iri said, setting her menu down.

"You and Monika...Huh, never could of guessed." Alexis mutters.

"Two females? I really am behind the times…" Edgar says, sighing.

"Planeptune, from what I've learned from talking with Histoire and what we've found exploring, has always been on the liberal end of things." Steven explained.

"Doesn't surprise me with this kind of universe." Tehg says, suddenly speaking up, not looking up from his menu, however.

"Eh, I don't mind. They're happy, and that's all that matters." Cynthia said.

"Very true. So, this menu is surprisingly lacking." Alexis comments, putting said menu down and sighing disappointingly.

"I'm sorry, but it is the lunch menu." Monika said. "The fancy things that you're probably looking for is later today."

"Boo. I guess I know what I'll have then…."

"You still made up your mind, so why complain?" Tehg asks.

"Don't know."

"Children…" Edgar sighs. "So how is the salad from here?" Monika's face lit up at this.

"Oh, here, let me show you what I get." She moved to his side of the table and started pointing. "This one's really good. I'd like to try this one, but it has meat in it. That one's alright, but not as good as the others."

"Hmm, I see. Thanks for the advice."

"Why have a salad when you can eat meat?" Tehg asks. "No offence to you Monika...A salad is fine I guess?"

"What'll Medb say when she finds out you prefer meat?" Steven teased.

"Firstly, I'm not in that kind of relationship with her. Secondly, fu-uh...dammit."

"You're not? Then what was that about before we came over here?" Alexis says snidely.

"Oh, do share with the class." Steven says, lowering his voice to a rumbling bass.

"You know she forced herself onto me before IF curb stomped her off!" Tehg says to Alexis in an attempt to defend himself.

"Didn't look it to me." Alexis says with a smirk and Tehg just shuts up and slams his head onto the table.

"This is fun. I can see why Plutia likes this kind of thing." Monika comments, enjoying the secondhand revenge.

"Hey Monika, you're not gonna go all 'Just Monika' on us again?" Tehg asks with slight worry and immediately regrets what he says.

*Slap!* The girl in question reached across the table and firmly brought her hand across his face. "Don't you dare bring that up!" She growled.

"Okay, I deserve that. That was my bad, I apologise." Tehg says with little to no emotion.

"Yes, you do." Iri said, equally as mad. "You are very lucky we are in one of my favorite restaurants.",

"I'm just gonna go, probably for the best." Tehg says starting to stand up.

"A bit much, no?" Alexis asks.

"Trust me, the events he was hinting at were dark times for Monika, and is something that doesn't need to get dragged into the light." Steven explained. "Though, she does have a point about your reaction, Iri. That was a touch too far. Sit down, you can make up for it by paying the bill."

"If that's what you're saying then I guess…" Tehg says, sitting down. "So when is someone gonna take our order?"

"I've been waiting for your discussion to finish. Didn't want to eavesdrop." The waitress said, withdrawing her notepad from her apron. "What can I get you all?" After placing their orders, they talked very little, the overall mood of the group damped by the previous exchange. The only ones not affected were the three in booster seats having a blast. The food was better than expected for some, and just as expected for others. From their, they returned home, going about their lives until the big day.

"Oh, no. Man, I'm freaking out!" Steven said. "What if this was all a sham? What if I panic and run!? What if she doesn't show up? I wouldn't blame her, but still."

"G1. You need to calm the fuck down." Johnny said, already in his tuxedo. "You aren't gonna panic. I'm not letting you. I've spent too long on my speech to let you bolt. And there's no way she's gonna bolt."

"You're right about most of those. I'm still not happy with how much joy you're getting out of this."

"Just know if you bail I will hunt your ass down." Tehg says, totally non-threateningly.

"We are here for a reason, after all." Souji said. "Though, I am not entirely fond of the tuxedo."

"I was fine with you wearing the yukata, you know."

"I did not want to be out of place."

"Just saying. Also, Johnny, I know you want to, so all I'm gonna say is, don't leave a mark." Steven said, turning a cheek towards him. Without a word, he was knocked to the ground by a swift punch.

"There. Now we both feel better."

"I get why he needed that, but why does that relieve you of any ill thoughts?" Souji asked.

"He denied me of his bachelor party. I had so many plans for him."

"Plans I'm glad I didn't experience." Steven replied. "Now, one of you help me with this damn noose. Normally 'Tia helps me with these." He continued, struggling with his tie.

"Noose, really?" Tehg sighs. "Get over here." He did, and Tehg tied it for him. "There, that wasn't so bad, now was it?" Tehg asks with a knowing smile.

"I can't wait to get this damn thing off already." While this was happening, the bride was having her own share of issues.

"Do I look okay? I think I'm too big for it. What if he thinks I'm ugly now? We haven't really talked about it since it's happened, but I catch him looking at my ear…" Cynthia trailed off, rattling away her own worries.

"You look great, Cynthia." Plutia said softly. "I know Steven well enough by now that he wouldn't ever think that. He'd move heaven and earth for you. He's killed for you."

"I made that dress just for you. There's no way you're gonna look bad in it." Noire added.

"And we all know Dad doesn't mind your little belly." Monika continued.

"He is like a cat, isn't he." Plutia giggled. "I don't know how many times I've come over and found him sprawled out on top of you."

"Thanks. I needed the pep talk. Hey, Noire, could I get a little room up top here?" Cynthia said, putting her hands on her chest.

"If I do that, it's gonna fall off. You wanted a strapless dress."

"I know."

"It's almost time. Are you ready?" Plutia asked.

"Of course not, but I'm going anyways." As she said that, Edgar walked in, wearing a plain suit with a red tie.

"They are begging to line everyone up for the procession." He announced before leaving.

"No turning back, not like I'd want to." Cynthia whispered to herself, exiting with the other three girls in the room.

The ceremony was not all that grand. The CPUs that were not an active part were seated in the pews, alongside Irisviel, Alexis, Ragland, Dante, and, which was a surprise to the groom, the Merchant. There was also a few other people, like the old couple that ran the diner they went to at least once a week. Besides Ragland was a man in a leather jacket with his hood up, and next to Dante was a woman with a gun holstered to her leg. The man in question did not deem it necessary to change out of his regular outfit for the occasion, and got a dirty look from Steven because of it. The bride's maids, with their escorts of the groom's men, entered the hall after the flower girls. The three children that they had been watching grow tossed flowers anywhere and everywhere, enjoying themselves. IF was in between the other two, wearing a suit which contrasted the other two's dresses. After that was said and done, the music began to play, signalling all attending to stand, and the seven standing at the altar faced the door.

"Here she comes. Don't wuss out now. I was being serious about hunting you down." Tehg whispers towards Steven.

"It's a little late for that, anyways. Plus, why would I?" He replied as his fianc-no, wife, came into view. She is wearing a strapless white dress with a skirt that the man could only describe as floofy. The top was covered in a sequin design that looked like geometric shapes. "Holy shit…" She was being escorted in by her grandfather.

"Stop drooling like an idiot." Tehg comments with a quiet laugh at the end.

"I'm not. Just wondering about how lucky I am."

"Good response."

"Now would be a good time to stop talking. She's almost here." Souji said, bringing to attention that Cynthia had just been handed off.

"H-Hey..." Cynthia muttered, blushing and tail wagging ever so slightly.

"Hey...You look so beautiful." Steven said in response.

"Now that everyone is here, I think it's time to get started." Neptune said, chuckling. "Today there will be no dearly beloved, no betrothed, and no ancient rhyme of the married. Today there are no dead languages to solemnize vows that are very much alive and will remain so for a lifetime. Today promises become permanent and friends become family. However, this day is not about the words spoken or the rings exchanged, nor is it about grand pronouncements and recessional marches. This day – the day of Cynthia and Steven's wedding – is about love. One of my favorite authors once wrote, "If love is not all, then it is nothing: this principle, and its opposite, collide down all the years of my breathless tale." Cynthia and Steven, your breathless tale is about to begin. If love is not all, then it is nothing. Its opposite – If love is all, then it is everything – is going to be the basis for every aspect of your relationship. All you have to do is simply love one another and that love shows through in everything you do for one another, how you treat each other, in good times and bad, though, I don't think that'll be a problem for you. Love isn't just a word; it's an action. Love isn't something you say, it's something you do. Love is genuine, honest, and open, compassionate and kind, passionate and blind, love doesn't know space or time, nor look through jealous eyes. There are many different kinds of love, almost if not all of which are represented here today. There is romantic love, the love of parents and children, of brothers and sisters and family, and love among friends. Not only do Cynthia and Steven love one another romantically – and they do, you can see it in every look, every touch, every moment they're together – they also love one another as friends. In fact, they're best friends, constantly giggling and taunting and teasing and very plainly and obviously having fun together. That love and enjoyment of each other as best friends will sustain them through this marriage. In addition, the love collectively in this room, from friends and family, will help sustain and support the promises they make today. All of us here will help solidify this bond, as these two individuals are joined as husband and wife. This new journey will be at times richly rewarding and extremely difficult, but, most importantly, it will be a journey you take together. Marriage is much more than your signatures on a legal contract. You are promising, in front of all these people you love, that you want to be with each other and only each other for the rest of your lives, and that you will do everything in your power to honor the promises you are making here today. For their part, the people who love you will also do everything in their power to try to help you hold up your end of the bargain." After a pause, Neptune started talking again. "I'll have to thank Histy for writing that for me. I had something else written out, but she was having nothing of it. "You can't put a joke like that in your speech!" she yelled. It was funny, but looking back, she has a point. This is a serious moment for you two, so I think we should cut to the chase. If I remember correctly, at least one of you has written special vows." She said, pointing to Steven.

"Hehe...Alright. Cynthia, I've said it before and I'll say it again. You don't know just how much you mean to me. Before you, I was lost, thinking that I'd never get to see a day like this, except for when it was some other guy up where we are now. You changed my whole world, and I'd tear it apart if it meant I couldn't keep you safe. I love you to the moon and back, as cliche as that sounds, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure we can live out the rest of our days happy and free."

"Steven, when we first met, you were a blushing, awkward guy with not much promise when it came to a fight. You didn't really look like much. But then, as we walked, and as we fought, I realized that you had something in you. A spark that drove you, at least a little, to just try and help in anyway you could. After that day in the ruins, when Noire and Neptune became CPUs, I new that you were someone that would lay down your life for anyone you cared about, and it hurt to know that. It hurt deep down in the center of my chest, knowing that this person that I'D come to care for, could leave me so easily. So, I kept you close, and found out exactly who you were. Sometimes, you grate on my nerves, but dammit I love you, weirdness and all, and wouldn't have it any other way."

"May I have the rings?" Neptune asked. Peashy and Compa came up and pulled the rings from their baskets. "Thank you." She handed Steven the ring for Cynthia, and Cynthia the matching one for her husband. In a uniform motion, the two slide them onto each other's left hand. "With these exchanged, there really is only one thing left to do. Stevie, do us all a favor and kiss her already."

"Gladl-Mmph!" He was cut off by his wife becoming impatient and speeding up the process. "Okay then…" From there, the group traveled to a park that they had reserved a pavilion at that was close to the newlywed's home. "I'm free of the monkey suit!" Steven cheered, pulling off his coat and tie.

"Look, the monkey shed its skin." Tehg sniggered.

"I'm glad I had made Noire make me a dress for this." Cynthia commented, twirling in a much shorter, freer dress.

"You look great and all, but why did you have to force me into a dress too?" Alexis asks with her face a deep red.

"Because you look good too."

"But it's way too short! How do you wear these sort of things?" Alexis asks pulling on the hem of the dresses skirt.

"You're doing it right now." Johnny chuckled. "It isn't that hard, see?"

"Then you wear one, masochist!" Alexis snapped.

"Who the fuck told you that?"

"Is now really the time for you two to be misbehaving?" Plutia asked, appearing behind the two. "We should be enjoying ourselves. Anyway, we'll be having the most fun tonight, won't we dear?"

"Oh, that we are, Plutie. That we are." Johnny chuckled.

"See! This is why I wanted you as my best man, Souji! You don't have the instinct to humiliate me at every turn!" Steven cried, falling at his friend's feet.

"I see no problems here."

"Why…? Why you do dis…?"

"Because it's fun."

"Oh, you guys ganging up on him? I'd ask to join in, but i already had my fun earlier with Johnny and Plutie, just waiting now." Tehg says chuckling at the scene. Eventually, after some chatter, everyone took their seats.

"I'm certain that this part is supposed to wait until later, but I think now is a good time to start the speeches." Plutia said, taking a hold of a microphone setup for her. "After all, laughing while we're eating may not be the best idea."

"Oh no." The bride and groom said at the same time.

"This should be fun." Iri said, before turning to keep Peashy in her chair.

"This should be most intriguing." Edgar says.

"Ladies first." Johnny said into his mic.

"Why thank you. Firstly, I'd like to say that I'm not apologizing. Cynthia is a good friend, though she can be a bit uptight sometimes, especially when it comes to my brother. Welcome to the family, by the way."

"No one told me about this!" Edgar says, somewhat angry.

"Oh, there's no need to be angry. This is supposed to be a festive day." The sadist responded. "Anyways, on to the more embarrassing stories. Like the time Stevie here was in a coma for a little bit. We'd peak in to see how he was doing, and she'd be there whining like a dog waiting for her master to come home." Cynthia became as red as her hair.

"I was hoping you'd never find out about that…" She muttered.

"Well, I think it's cute." Steven whispered back, giving her a quick kiss.

"Hm...Let's see...I really don't know how Stevie doesn't notice it, but she wags her tail and kicks in her sleep."

"That's where the bruises are coming from! I thought I was hitting myself!"

"Sometimes she stuffs her bra so that she's bigger than Noire." Plutie chuckled. "I though Blanc was the only one with that complex, but I've been wrong before. Enough of that though. I'm really happy for you, and I'm expecting nieces and nephews."

"My turn. Alright, fuckface, where to start? Let's start with the fact that you are, by far, the biggest klutz I've ever known. Who else can, in their life, get bit in the face by a dog, put their tooth through their lip, dig a hole in their leg using a step machine, get hit by a car, break six bones at once, and cut his finger open with electric hedge trimmers. And that's not even everything you told me before we were brought here. Don't think I haven't forgotten about you and Plutie during those nights. You can thank Cynthia for those stories, and the pictures."

"It was kind of cute."

"So, you saw this happening, and said nothing?"

"...Yes…"

"This nerd even managed to turn himself into a girl. How do you fail that hard? That was a fun month, watching the existential crisis."

"And you GOT to turn back…?" Alexis asked with a scowl on her face.

"It involved a shady deal with Loki that made it so I can't transform into anything else but my girl form using magic. Also, Loki, and that only happened because the goddess of magic beat his ass."

"Makes sense." Alexis says sighing.

"Can't say he doesn't know what he's doing though. Before it was all circuit boards and motors, but now he's going through places like the Raider of the Lost Ark. There's no way in hell you would find someone that would stick by someone like me as well as he has, with how short of a fuse he has. And boy is it short. About as short as Blanc."

"Oh how original, a Blanc joke." Tehg muttered. With the speeches done, the food was served. Seeing how it was at a park in summer, a barbeque was thought to be the best idea.

"These burgers are great. Should come over to this dimension for 'em more often." Tehg says full of glee while also stuffing his face with said burger.

"You need to calm down." Blanc said, nibbling on a hot dog next to Nepgear.

"Thats an image I won't be getting out of my head for a while." Tehg says maybe a tad bit to loud.

"My, what a naughty imagination you have." Vert said. "Though, I certainly see it too."

"Sh-you heard that?" Tehg asks, fear quite clear on his face.

"Yes I did, though I won't tell. I have somewhere to be, after all. I believe our DJ is beginning to prepare for the dancing, and I plan to show Noire a fun time once I can."

"Thanks, oh and have fun with the tsun queen."

"She's really not that bad, anymore." Vert replied rather solemnly before leaving.

"I still don't know why you insisted on cooking." Monika laughed as her father flipped another burger.

"There are two culinary things I enjoy. Baking and grilling. We don't exactly have a good place to grill, so I'm taking what I can get. I've also got Souji on standby for once I have to...ugh...dance."

"Who would have thought you'd be the party pooper." Alexis says with a grin.

"I don't like dancing, and it reminds me of darker days."

"Fine, be that way...So, can I get a hot dog? 'been standing here for like ten minutes."

"Oh, didn't notice. Sorry. Though, is it A hot dog, or MY hot dog?"

"...no need to rub it in."

"It's a reflex."

"Still a low blow." Alexis says while walking off without her food.

"I'm like the opposite of Johnny. I'm an asshole on accident, while he's one on purpose."

"You should still try to mind your words. They can be your downfall in the future." Edgar says walking over.

"I know. We've gone through spats before because I'm an idiot. Really makes me wish I was more careful when I was younger."

"I see, well I'd say don't dwell on the past and focus on the now and what you're currently doing.."

"I can't belittle myself and cook at the same time, you know." The married man replied, placing a burger on his grandfather-in-law's plate. "By the way, I was saying that because of all the concussions. Permanent brain damage, and all that jazz."

"Hmm, I can see what you mean now. Must be a pain though, no?"

"Occasional headaches and some memory issues on top of what you already know, but nothing too serious."

"That's good at least. Oh, by the way, I think there waiting on you to start the dancing." Edgar says pointing over to the dancefloor.

"I guess I can't keep procrastinating any longer. Alright, time to embarrass myself instead of someone doing it for me." Steven made his way to the area that was cleared, seeing the man in the hoodie and coat at the turntables. After a pained look crossed his face, his hands glided across the machine like he was born to do it.

"Ready?" Cynthia asked, pressing herself against him.

"For you...yeah." He replied, wrapping his arms around her and settling his face into the top of her head. The world was drowned out as the two moved together. "You know, Plutie brought up something kind of important."

"What's that?"

"We've never talked about kids."

"Oh. Yeah, we haven't. Later though. Now's not the time for that talk."

"True, true." Before they knew it, their first dance was up. "That wasn't too bad. Now you get to dance with your granddad."

"Uh...Do I?" Edgar asks from the sidelines, very uncomposed.

"The bride is supposed to dance with her father, but, you know…"

"I suppose I must then, I apologise in advance." Edgar walks over to Cynthia and takes Steven's place. As the next song starts up he already messes up, stepping on Cynthia's feet. "A quick confession must be made. I have no idea how to dance in the slightest."

"That's okay. You should see Monika. Give her some code, no problem. Give her something like this, and she'll freeze."

"Mom…" Said girl groaned, clearly not happy.

"I suppose you have a-sorry, what was I saying? Oh yes, you do have a point." The old man says. The dance continued like that until towards the end where Edgar somehow managed to not step on Cynthia's feet (amazingly). Once the formal stuff was finished, they moved on to the more...energetic...dancing.

"Come on…" Cynthia whined.

"No."

"Please?" She asked, tugging on her husband's sleeve.

"I really don't want to."

"And you need to make up with Alexis."

"The old man ratted me out! That son of a bitch!"

"Never asked me to keep it a secret!" The culprit shouted from the distance.

"Brocode!"

"I have no idea what this 'Brocode' is, so…"

"God dammit…" The contractor sighed, only to get the same response from all those he's contracted with: Which one? "All my hate. Fine, let's get this shit show rolling. Knowing my luck, I'm gonna break something." He walks over to where Alexis currently is and she looks at him with a confused look. "Come on." He said, extending his hand to her.

"What's your angle?" Alexis asks.

"Trying to get my foot out of my mouth, so to say."

"Very well then, I shall pity you and allow you to have one dance." Alexis says before breaking out into laugh. "So we dancing or not?" she asks while grabbing the hand that was held out.

"I apologize in advance."

"For what? I'm the one being forced to wear heels and its totally not my first time wearing them…"

"Did you not hear Johnny about me being clumsy? Those were all stories I told him, without exaggerating."

"Ooh...I best brace for impact then, just in case." Alexis says giggling.

"Good luck with that." He chuckled in turn. The two looked like they were flailing to the rest of the participants, until the inevitable happened. Steven tripped on something. With a loud crash, a speaker was destroyed by the man's body. "Stupid Thor and his stupid Asgard thing."

"Saw this coming." Tehg says laughing at the man. "I know I shouldn't be laughing...somebody help the klutz up."

"I've got him." Blanc said, hoisting him off of the pile. "How you don't get yourself killed on your excursions never ceases to amaze me."

"I think we can all agree to that." Vert added.

"You alright?" Alexis asks the man.

"Yeah, I'm good. My clothes, not so much."

"So how'd ya trip anyway?" Tehg asks before getting hit over the back of the head by Edgar. "Hey! I'm curios."

"Time and place...time and place." Edgar sighs.

"Nah, it's fine. Pretty sure it was my pants. They're a bit long since I changed into sneakers."

"You sure I didn't accidently trip you? I was kinda sloppy with my movements…" Alexis asks, worried.

"I felt my belt just holding my pants up. Trust me, that was all me."

"If you say so…" There were several more dances, even if half the sound system was demolished, and eventually it grew dark.

"So, we should really start heading back soon." Edgar mentions to Tehg and Alexis.

"Ah, yea...but we haven't had cake yet." Tehg responds with.

"It is about that time." Iri said. "We worked hard on that cake." Anyone who knew the Caster began to panic. Unless there was a professional nearby when it was made, that cake was bound to be a failure.

"Did you happen to make the cake on your own Irisviel?" Tehg asks nervously.

"No, I just frosted it. Nepgear and Neptune made it." Tehg sighs in relief as the cake is being starting to be served after Steven and Cynthia cut the first piece. It was a red velvet with a cream cheese frosting.

"Now if you will excuse me, there's cake to be had." Tehg says sliding his way over to the cake. After everyone enjoyed their cake, the attendees began to disperse, with those who help set up tearing everything down. Those from the other world bid their farewells before returning home, certainly telling everyone about what happened. The residents of the Stanton household fled said household after the newlyweds decided to finish with their wedding day traditions. Even their cat decided that they did not want to be around. They didn't care.

 **Well, what a note to end on, eh?** 'Ew, I didn't need to know any of that.' Too bad, it happened. **Yup. I mean, it's a thing that happens. The circle of life, and all that.** 'I don't like the idea of my parents doing that!' You're not alone there...however what is done is done. **No one likes the idea of their parents boning. No one. So, I need to give credit where credit is due. Neptune's speech thing was pulled from a website full of different wedding intros. Officiant eric was the website's name.** Now that that's over I'm gonna go...sleep calls me, you do your thing. Tehg out, peace. **See ya.**


	13. The World is Changing

Chapter 13: The World is Changing

 **Hey, so uh…Finally got around to doing another one of these. I HAVE been writing, just not typing. In theory, the next chapter will be relatively done and ready to type in a week's time, though it won't be posted that soon. Have to actually have a mental health week before I go to school after working all summer. Don't really have much more to say, so I'll get to the point.**

A year and change passed by in the blink of an eye after our wedding. Plutie and Johnny tied the knot a few months back, and boy did I enjoy the reception. Payback is a dish best served cold, and it was as sweet as ice cream. Tehg, however, was not a happy panda. Something about being related to Johnny not sitting right with him. Edgar came over a couple times for things like birthdays and other types of get-togethers. According to the others, that's an improvement on how he usually was. Normally Tehg or Alexis was with him, so it's safe to say Edgar needs a babysitter in order to be social. Man, am I glad that 'Tia likes her camera, because the look on my face when he told me he was with Alexis, his Servant Medb, and his world's Blanc was priceless. Irisviel was not happy about that information, and when she isn't happy, you run. You run far, and hope to whoever's listening that her constructs can't catch up to you. I wasn't paying much attention because I was talking with my grandfather-in-law, but I heard something about not playing with a girls' hearts, and he was gone like a bat out of Hell.

Everyone, after about a year, asked when the two of us would have a baby, especially Monika. Every time she would say she's tired of hearing us. Hell, we were asking ourselves that before we went to Ragland for answers. He said that it would be incredibly hard for us to have a child, seeing as how Cynthia was "born" in such a strange way. If I were a DGU like her it'd be different, but I am only human.

Noire and Vert went public with their relationship and the world lost its collective shit. Honestly, I could help but point at my computer screen and laugh at the internet nerds that freaked out about not being able to be with their waifu.

"Are you ready to go? Grandfather said he would be at the Basilicom at noon." 'Tia said, pulling on the reinforced heels that went with her combat outfit.

"Yup! Just pulling on my jacket!" I replied, pulling on the duster that was stored in the bedroom closet. "I can't believe that he agreed to it."

"Well, he was really interested in what we had found when we took him to the museum. I'm pretty sure that this is just another way he's trying to bond with us. I don't mind though. We ARE worlds apart."

"True. I also really want to see the old man in a fight. Tehg and his merry band of troublemakers say that he's powerful, but I'm not gonna believe it 'til I see it." I said, opening our bedroom door. Like usual, Monika and Iri had already left for work. From there I pulled on my boots and we headed out.

"Hello Steven, Cynthia." Edgar greeted, giving her a hug.

"Hey guys." Solar added, stepping out from behind the massive man.

"Hello Grandfather. Hey Solar." Cynthia said in return, hugging the two."

"Finally crawled out of bed, huh Dad?" Monika teased, holding the hand of a now toddler Iffy.

"Yeah. We're heading out to Lastation for that temple that we found after looking for hints in the pictures we took in Thor's temple…Hm…You know what? With how different today is going to be, I'm gonna mix it up a bit." In a quick flash of light I assumed my female form. Luckily, the last time I was like this I was wearing the armor Noire made, meaning we didn't have to spend time waiting on me to change.

"I don't know why that threw me off. Tehg's told me about it and what you use that form for." Solar said, face tinged pink.

"And what exactly do you use it for?" Edgar asked, crossing his arms.

"Free drinks at bars and mixing things up in the bedroom." I explained.

"I see." His tone spoke volumes of how much he didn't believe me.

"Look, when you go drinking with someone that needs to down an entire liquor store to get drunk and/or someone who literally drinks himself to death just so when he comes back he can drink more, you have to do whatever you can to keep from spending a fortune. I may have that fortune, but that's not the point."

"That makes sense, if nothing else. Now, shall we leave?" Edgar asked, clearly ready to tackle whatever laid in wait for us.

"Be safe, Dad. If you come back with something that'll scar, I'll sick Iri after you."

"What, so SHE'LL give me something that'll scar?" I joked.

"We'll make sure to keep him out of trouble, just like always." 'Tia chuckled. "Though at this rate, he might just not make it back in one piece if that happens."

"Why do all the women that love me wish to hurt me more than these temples do?" I lamented.

"It is the nature of women to want to protect those they are for. You just happen to have the misfortune of them being gods and those of extraordinary ability." Edgar chuckled while glancing at Histy.

"Sure, just laugh it up, old timer." I grumbled. "Let's get going. We're dealing with the Celts this time, so expect runes and the like. Magical traps are the worst kind."

"Tehg would love this one then." Solar commented. We moved fairly quickly, getting to the black themed nation in record time. "Whoa…this thing is huge…" Solar wasn't wrong. This one is by far the tallest we've come across. That's probably because, from looking inside, it only went up.

"What do you think you're all doing?" Oh no. That's an angry Ploots voice. We're not going to have a good time.

"Hey, Plutia. Is Johnny with you?" Cynthia asked.

"He'll be here in a minute. Why didn't you tell me we were having a family outing?"

"We weren't planning on a family outing. If we did, Monika and Iri would be here." I explained.

"My grandson would also be among us." Edgar added. Plutie didn't take that lying down, putting a hand on her hip and leveling a glare at the two of us.

"Why didn't you just carry me here?" Johnny asked, hacking his way through bushes with his sword split in two. "We could've been here sooner if you did."

"Yes, but you're so tall it's awkward for me to."

"How are you two?" Solar asked.

"Tired, sweaty, and ready to beat someone's ass. What are we looking at this time, G1?"

"Celtic of some kind." I reported. "We haven't gotten the chance to start exploring though. The only thing we do know is that it's a goddess and that she has three aspects."

"Huh. Alright then. Let's get this done."

"I agree." Edgar said. We entered a large chamber with no discernable way to ascend. There was no rooms or anything, just flat brick surfaces.

"Hey, Cynthia? What's it like, being married?" Solar asked…herself? Still not sure how to refer to the two.

"It's…not that easy to explain. Steven and I have been living together for so long that nothing's changed."

"Oh. Well, what do you do, anyway? For fun, I mean?"

"Hey G1? What's up with those two?" Johnny asked as the two kept talking.

"They've never really had the chance to just talk." I answered, running a hand along one of the walls. "So they're taking this chance to catch up. How're things going with Plutie?"

"Not bad. Things are pretty chill between us, and she's talked about trying for a kid. Any word on that?"

"Still nothing since the last time. If it really is the genetic compatibility thing that Ragland has been saying, then we're up shit creek without a paddle."

"Well shit."

"Yeah." The awkward silence that ensued was broken by the physical sadist among us.

"So that's why Monika and Iri have been staying at the Basilicom after work so often." Plutie giggled. "What will you do if you can't?"

"No idea." I replied, looking around for some kind of clue. "All I know is that it'll devastate her."

"Boy! I've found something!" Edgar shouted, pointing at the large mural that was painted on the wall. The mural is honestly out of place compared to the rest of the room.

"That's…weird…Is there something off about it?" Cynthia asked after all of us joined the ancient being.

"The figure in the middle has glass for eyes, which is something that the others do not." He observed.

"I'm gonna check that wall over there." Johnny said. "Maybe there'll be something that opens this thing." Everyone followed his lead. As Plutie walked about, one of the stones making up the floor sank. There was a sudden thunk sound, but nothing happened.

"Stay there, Plutia! I think I've got something!" Solar shouted as she slammed the wall she was next to with the palm of her hand. A bright blue light lit up through the glass in the mural.

"Well done." Plutia stated. "But know that you will not go unpunished for ordering me around."

"S-Sorry, but the eyes lit up a little, so I figured it had to have been something. Then I found this brick that wasn't flush with the wall."

"Very well, I'll just lighten your torment. Maybe a repeat of the last time you stayed over will do nicely." Their banter was interrupted by a mechanical rumble as the wall the mural was on rose into the ceiling.

"Mechanical contraptions are the means to progress, huh? Very well." Edgar mused. The second floor had something that looked straight out of Harry Potter. A giant chess set sat along the floor. Each square of the board had slots for something to pass through them.

"You got this, babe?" Johnny asked, giving Plutie a smirk.

"Of course." She replied, returning the smirk. She went to work, sliding the various pieces into a circle of alternating black and white while also both sets of kings and queens to the center AND obeying the rules of chess. Oddly enough, the knights had symbols on them, like a lake or a sun. "Hmph…Easy." The CPU stood proudly in front of us.

"Nice." Johnny commented, kissing her on the cheek.

"Hi ho, hi ho, up the stairs we go!" I sang in the tune of the dwarves from Disney's Snow White.

"G1, no. Bad."

"You can stop ruining my fun at any time." I countered. This next floor was another single open room. Everywhere around the place was what looked like some of the robotic enemies from Final Fantasy thirteen. Kind of threw me off because I'm pretty sure that the Celts weren't known for being engineers. There were a few Crusaders just floating about, an absurd amount of Hoplites, and a Tyrant.

"Aw, this is disappointing…Robots don't beg for mercy…" Plutie wind.

"I'm pretty sure some still do, just not mindless ones like these." Solar countered.

"Do you have a plan?" Edgar asked me.

"Not really. We don't even know what this room's gimmick is. Our best bet is to just sweep and clear and hope that it doesn't decide to explode or something." I replied.

"Sounds good to me." Johnny said, splitting his sword in two again. "It's been a while since I've been in a good brawl."

"I will deal with the big one." Edgar stated, cracking his knuckles.

"Johnny and I will take our time with the small ones." Plutie suggested. "You three should be able to handle the three floating ones."

"Sounds good to me." Solar said, chambering a round of her bolt action rifle.

"Shouldn't be a problem." Cynthia agreed, knife drawn. With the makeshift plan in place, we all sprang into action. Johnny lunged at a group of them, cleaving two in half. Afterwards, he became a red and black blur of mechanical destruction. Plutie's talent with lightning magic turned out to be a real help, making taking out her enemies as easy as swinging her whip-sword. Edgar took a more hands on approach, punching the Tyrant a few times before picking it up and slamming it into the ground face first. I called on my contract with Artemis and started firing on my designated Crusader. Of course, I also took pot shots at the other two, doing nothing if not creating openings for the two. Unfortunately, my arrows were bouncing off their armor. The most amount of damage I could do was some dents in the metal.

"Solar! 'Tia! Regroup!" I shouted. The two fell back and the three machines grouped up.

"What's up?" Cynthia asked.

"Yeah, we were doing fine." Solar added.

"Our physical attacks weren't working. The arrows from Artemis' contract couldn't punch through, and I know you've seen what they can do, 'Tia."

"Yeah, I know."

"So, I'm going to change out and buffs us."

"You can do that?" Solar asked.

"I've got a contract with a goddess of magic. Of course I can, though it took some time. While using her GCG makes it easier, but support spells are harder for me to learn than offensive ones."

"I'm taken care of." Cynthia said, igniting her large knife.

"Right. Forgot you could do that. Hecate!" Now in the Greek robes that the goddess wore, I lifted the wooden staff. A yellow glowed surrounded her guns before they cackled with lightning. "There. Now you can do some real damage."

"Awesome. Thanks." I cast one more buff that upped our damage output before I switched to Dialga. "Do you think a physical guy like that will work?" I rolled my shoulders, not very used to the clunky armor that the time dragon granted me.

"All of the abilities he can use right now are Pokémon moves, and they all technically elemental attacks." Cynthia explained.

"Ah…" After she realized what I was doing, I charged forward, stomping my foot to use earth power before sinking the six blades of metal claw into two of them. The attack tore through them like an AMR round through a tank.

"That's what I'm talking about!" I cried out, separating myself from the robot. From there, the beat down continued with our now elemental damage doing significantly more to them. "What's this?" I asked myself out loud, picking up one of the monster's drops. It was a jagged piece of metal that didn't look natural, and had multiple machined out slots. I ripped the hand that wasn't holding the strange object out of the ground, where it had imbedded itself when I cleaved it in two vertically with a punch. I turned to my right and saw Solar on the back of her bullet riddled robot. One of her hands was deep in its shoulder joint while the other jammed a pistol into the base of its neck before pulling the trigger as fast as she could. It began to collapse and she freed herself before it fell into a heap. The Crusader then proceeded to explode, leaving behind a piece of metal similar to the one I was holding. Johnny and Plutie were against a wall, leaning on each other and shining with sweat. The two were smiling, so I at least knew that they enjoyed themselves. Cynthia had cut off the arms and legs of her opponent before finishing it by stabbing it in its robo-face Edgar…Edgar looked like he was having the time of his life duking it out with the machine that was almost twice as big as he was. The Tyrant was staggering about, sparks flying from every punctured surface on its body. For what could only be a finishing blow, the old man snatched one of the two autonomous blade that were circling around it and impaled it with its own blade.

"There." His bassy voice rumbled. "The last machine has been dealt with." Since nothing else seemed like it was going to happen, I deactivated Dilaga's GCG. With a raised eyebrow. He picked up another of these mysterious pieces of what seems like scrap metal. "What is this?" He asked.

"I don't know. Mine had one too." Cynthia said, bringing the total number of these things to four.

"We've got one too. Don't remember which one had it, but it's here." Johnny said, lifting his from his spot on the floor.

"It was the one in the middle. The one that was a different color than the rest. I think I got it." Plutie explained to her husband.

"Ah, right."

"So, we have five of these things." I hummed. "There's no way this is a coincidence."

"They got to be related." Solar said, staring at the piece that was in her hand. Without saying anything else she walked over to me and took mine from me. After giving the two a good look over, she eventually slid them together. "Hey, look at this."

"They're all parts of a whole." Plutie mused. "Shall we?"

"Sure."

"Before today I would have never taken her for someone who solved puzzles." Edgar said, sounding genuinely surprised. "This is the second one she willing tried to solve."

"That's due to _someone_ getting her one of those 3D puzzle balls for Christmas one year." Johnny replied snarkily, jamming a thumb at me. "Now she's into those the same way she's into sewing."

"Hey, I needed to get something creative that year. She said she wanted to try picking up another hobby, so…"

"All that matters is that it's coming in handy." Cynthia commented as she was relieved of her piece. "Look at those two go." Indeed, the two were hard at work, sliding the five pieces in different directions, trying to make it into one solid piece.

"Got it." Solar said, holding up a jagged looking star.

"Yes we did." Plutie agreed, high fiving the girl.

"Cool, but we don't know how to use it." Johnny observed. "I don't see anything for it from here."

"I was not paying much attention during my fight, but I believe that I saw a star shaped hole on that wall." Edgar said, pointing towards the large pile of probably valuable metals.

"I bet Nepgear would love to see this place." Solar said, walking over to the hole. After some fiddling she managed to get it in, and the staircase behind the wall was revealed. This one was much longer, being several stories tall compared to the single story flights that the others were. Clearly, this floor was the one we needed. The commonplace pedestal had a large orange gear shaped crystal floating above it. "That's the thing that lets you make contracts with gods? I thought it'd be a bit more impressive."

"They work with what they can." I said with a shrug. That IS what they told me.

"Each one looks different, too, based on the god that he's contracting. The first one was in the shape of a skull." Cynthia explained.

"And this one?" Edgar asked.

"The gimmick is that he doesn't know until they introduce themselves." Johnny answered.

"So, you just go up to that thing, grab it, and then we're done?" Solar asked.

"Nope. There's one more thing we have to deal with." I said. "There's the guardian. Basically, it's the god's way of making sure that some lucky rando doesn't get their hands on it."

"What should we expect?" Edgar asked.

"What we have already fought, but bigger. Usually." Plutie answered.

"Then this shouldn't be an issue."

"Speak for yourself." I muttered. "You're not the one that's gonna get the shit beat out of them."

"You'll be fine." 'Tia said, trying to cheer me up. It didn't work, because she's normally the one who patches me up when my injuries don't warrant a trip to the good doctor.

"She's right, you know. With how many of us there are, things can't go wrong." Cynthia, Johnny, Plutia and I all turned to Solar wordlessly. "What?"

"Firstly, you said the magic words. Now everything will go wrong. Secondly, you clearly don't know how these go for him." Johnny started.

"My brother isn't exactly lucky. All those things Johnny said at the reception? Stevie told him those years ago."

"I am an accident waiting to happen."

"We're pretty sire the Fates are out to get him. I've never seen someone stub his picky tow on the same table leg so many times." Cynthia finished.

"I believe she gets the point." Edgar said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"We have bets on how he's going to die." Johnny added, to my surprise.

"You what, bitch?" I asked.

"That is…not something we should talk about here." Solar commented, bringing us out of the potential fight. "How do we get this started?"

"I try to go get it." I replied, doing just that. The room began to shake as a scrap metal hand ripped its way through the floor. The rest of the mechanical monster followed, its one red "eye" lighting up afterwards. It was a large, bestial thing, almost similar to a gorilla. On its back were two large cannons with ammo belts feeding into them from its sides. It wasted no time in beginning its attack. "We need to take out those guns!" I shouted as the bullets forced us to dive out of the way.

"Of course." Plutie said, activating her processors. "This hunk of scrap will pay for attacking us!" With her peace said, she flew forward, using her whip-sword to sever the left weapon from the body. Cynthia followed her lead, exploding in a plume of fire before mirroring what her sister-in-law did. The only difference was that this one looked like someone had taken a flamethrower to it.

"Well, if everyone's doing it…" Solar trailed off before being engulfed in light. When it died down, her shorts and t-shirt were replaced by a long sleeved red coat and a short skirt. The skirt was navy blue and the shirt underneath the coat was white. Her feet and shins were covered by knee high brown boots and her now white hair that was in a style like Pluite's before the perma-CPU thing was covered by a wide brimmed hat that looked fresh out of a Robin Hood movie. In her hands was a long old-school bolt action rifle that looked straight out of the trenches of World War One. The mechanical beast began to charge, and Solar took aim. With a precision shot to the arm, she staggered it, knocking it off of its feet. Edgar took the opportunity to do something absolutely spectacular. He picked up the one cannon that actually looked functional, shoved it deep into its chest, and fired. Chunks of metal flew from the body, some even hitting us. Since I still had time for Dialga's GCG, I reactivated it and decided to draw on the time dragon's power to the fullest. A sphere of temporal energy formed in front of my metal face plate before condensing and growing brighter. With a shout, the Roar of Time tore through the air, annihilating every piece of it but the head and the gun that Edgar thought that he was keeping. The remains of out opponent crashed to the ground and the red glow slowly faded.

"You made this out to be much harder than it was." Edgar commented.

"Yeah, I was expecting a longer fight." Solar added.

"Normally aren't six of us, let alone someone that has created a reality." Cynthia countered.

"Fair enough. I believe it is time to claim you contract, is it not?" Edgar asked, motioning towards the rising pedestal with an outstretched hand.

"Yup." I replied, making my way to the crystal. With it in my grasp, I shattered it. As per usual, my world went dark.

' _Hello, Contractor. I am Brigid, goddess of healing and the smith. My gift to you is the gift of healing. I feel like you can use it well.'_

"I will, thank you."

' _Now, I must ask something of you.'_

"What's up?" I asked. It's not very common that one of my contracts directly asks me to do something, especially when I first establish the contract. I'm pretty sure the last one was Orcus way back when.

' _When you first use my GCG, please do not…how do you mortals put this…freak out.'_

"Why would I freak out?"

' _You'll see. Just, please promise me.'_

"Sure, I won't lose it when I use it."

' _Thank you.'_ The melodious Irish accented voice faded away along with the blackness. The two among us who weren't used to what could only be a spectacle were giving me a confused look.

"You explained, right?" I pleaded.

"Nope." Johnny chuckled before getting elbowed.

"Yes, we did." Plutie corrected. "But seeing it is completely different than being told about it."

"Valid point. Well, we're done here so we can head home." Of course, with my luck, the instant I stepped onto the floor a rune lit up. "Motherfucker…" It detonated, sending me flying.

"Hey babe, can you get off me?" Cynthia asked.

"But you're comfy…" I whined, but complied with my wife's demand nonetheless. Afterwards we went home and had the BBQ chicken I had marinating in the fridge with pasta salad. With full stomachs the two went home to their world.

"Are we going to the Basilicom today? I'm pretty sure I heard someone mention having a get together." I asked 'Tia a few days after our little excursion.

"It has been a while since all of us have been together without having to fight. Sure, let's go." Cynthia responded, running her hand through her bed head. Once we were actually ready for the day, we went over to Plutie's place. Even though it was summer, I forced myself to wear a long sleeved button up. I had to, seeing as how it was the only real way that I could have ready access to the seal I had tattooed over my heart. It was a special symbol that Hecate and I came up with that let me temporarily paralyze my heart so that I could use Dialga's time stopping ability. The morning was warm, but with a steady breeze that would make the afternoon's heat bearable. Somehow, even the still kind of lazy Neptune beat us there. Knowing her sleeping habits, this was quite a feat. "Take this! Cat punch!" Well, today was certainly not going to be boring, if Neptune getting socked in the chin by a six year old Peashy is anything to go by.

"Peashy, you know better than that." Monika scolded.

"I know, Mom…" Peashy replied, looking actually upset.

"M-M-Mom…!?" The girl screeched, taken off guard.

"Well, yeah. You're basically the one that raised us. You might as well be." Iffy commented, showing that she was much more intelligent than she should be.

"Aw, Mon-Mon, we're mommies!" Iri teased, poking the girl's cheek and forcing her to turn atomic red. Compa, bless her innocent soul, wrapped Monika up in a hug.

"Mommy!" Oh, my heart. It can't take this much sweetness.

"The kids have gotten big." Blanc stated, looking over at the growing group hug.

"Indeed, Lady Blanc. Time sure has flown. I feel like it won't be long until Aiko is this old." Souji replied.

"It has been getting harder and harder to keep up with them." Histoire interjected. "Monika and Caster have been a blessing."

"They are quite adorable. To think that I was once a child…" Vert…lamented?

"That's right, you were all human once." Neptune observed.

"Yes, Neppy, everyone has a mommy and daddy." Plutie stated.

"…I don't. None of us CPUs back home do. I was made from a fragment of power from the Original Goddess. Nepgear was born from the Sharicite when my Planeptune had an abundance of shares." The room got super heavy real quick.

"Well, technically you two do now." Souji said. "Or, at least, you will. My parents are still around." Tears welled up in Neptune's eyes as she ran at him to hug him. The rest of us stayed quiet as to not ruin their moment.

"Hey Plutie? When are you going to introduce me to Mom?" I asked, raising my left hand.

"Maybe some other day, when the whole family is free." She responded.

"I could take you to meet mine, too." Blanc suggested, turning to Nepgear."

"T-That would be nice."

"How is everyone doing Share wise?" Blanc asked, clearly trying to change the awkward subject.

"If my reports are correct, we are all about even." Vert answered. "Planeptune was behind a few years ago, but you have managed to catch up to the rest of us quickly. That's most likely due to your current circumstances."

"I've got to say, it was weird when this first happened with Plutia, but I can't deny the results." Noire added with a smirk.

"Weird? You're not the one with a piece of what might as well be a CPU's life-force stuck in their heart." I laughed. Before our nonchalant banter could continue, the landline in the next room started to ring.

"The landline in the Basilicom hardly rings. One moment please." Histoire said, floating to the phone. "Hello, this is Planeptune's Basilicom, how may I help you? Yes, she is here. Yes, I can…Nepgear, could you please have Noire come here?" The fairy quietly asked the girl that was near the door.

"Of course. Noire, the phone is for you!" The black themed CPU swiftly entered the room.

"It is from your Basilicom." The Oracle elaborated.

"What do think it's about?" I asked.

"I think it might be something wrong. I heard a little bit of what the other person on the line was saying, and they sounded frantic." Nepgear answered.

"The nation's online network is down!? How…? Wh-What!? We were hacked!?"

"I'm glad I didn't make a bet with you." I whispered while raising a fist.

"You tend to lose bets anyway. If I get any more out of you, I think Cynthia would cancel poker night." Vert said.

"I thought she would when Johnny decided strip poker would be a good idea." Blanc commented.

"Just…just wait, okay? Um…I'm on my way!" It's an emergency, everyone! Lastation has…"

"Been hacked? Yeah, we heard you. I think someone down the street could've heard you." Johnny finished for her before proceeding to mock her. In other words, he was being himself.

"That's a bit harsh." Nepgear commented. "Noire, let me help you. I should be able to find who did it."

"I'd appreciate it." She replied with a smile.

"I think it's time I got out of the house." Iri said, setting down Compa while standing up. "This has those Seven Sages' signature on it, and I'm tired of this."

"I don't think I've heard her this angry." Monika said.

"So, you're going to stop her?" Souji asked the teen.

"Oh no. No, they deserve it if they pushed her this far."

"With how many of us there are now, we should really break things up." Blanc said. "We can one group investigating in Lastation, and the other can go after the one responsible."

"Well, I'm going after whoever did this." Noire huffed, crossing her arms. "Nepgear, I'll be letting security know to give you access to the server room."

"I'll be going with you, Noire." Iri stated as a sickly sweet smile graced her face. There was no room for negotiation.

"Souji, you're with my and Nepgear." I said. "I should be able to see if there was any physical tampering, and you can tell if there was any magical shenanigans going on."

"That sounds fine." He replied.

"You think I'm not down to crack some skulls?" Johnny asked, cracking his knuckles.

"Blanc, you should go with those three. With you as the muscle, they'll be fine to poke around to their hearts' content." Neptune said. "That way we don't have to worry about anyone."

"Alright, I'll keep them safe."

"This sounds like it will be fun." Plutie laughed. "You four better get going." With the game plan settled, we took off. It took us an hour seeing as how neither CPU felt comfortable about carrying us, and my means of flight isn't exactly healthy for me. The soldiers let us in easily enough. Nepgear pulled out what could only be described as the world's coolest tablet and went to work.

"There's definitely been someone in here, and they aren't an amateur. You wouldn't see the damage or anything unless you were actively looking for it, and even then it's well hidden." I said, looking at some bent metal and small burns on some circuit boards.

"There's been no magic cast in here." Souji reported, closing a book before swapping it out for another. "This will have to be left to the two of you."

"Can you stay with Blanc then? I know she can take care of herself…" Nepgear asked, clearly hesitant to finish.

"Of course. I'll watch my Lady's back." He replied, leaving to just that. I dug around in the tower that I was at, trying to reach into a spot where I couldn't really get at elsewhere. There was something in there about the size of my palm and was shoddily wired in. Tearing it out was an easy affair, but the symbol that was carved into the plastic shell made my blood run cold.

"Oh, that's not good."

"What's wrong?" Blanc asked from her spot by the door.

"I found a physical backdoor, and it's got a logo that I've only seen in one other place." I pulled my arm out and showed it to the only one that was close enough in the room. The design was three interconnected gears with a jagged, cracked skull overlaid on top of them. "This was all over the place where Solar and I found Cynthia."

"We'll have to keep an eye out for anyone that might not like us being in here." Souji stated, opening the door.

"I can't get anything useful out of this. Even if you took that out, the connection should still be up." Nepgear said, tapping furiously on her screen.

' **Try the Celt's power.'** The thick African accent of Anansi rang out.

'Um…Okay?'

"Which god was that?" Nepgear asked. "I saw your eyes turn yellow."

"Anansi. He was suggesting that I use Brigid's GCG." Seeing as how stories come with wisdom, I took the ancient god's advice. "Brigid!" Instead of the celtic cloth or steel that I was expecting, I was wearing jeans, a half white-half blue t-shirt, a red jacket with orange stripes and goggles on my head. Wait…"Okay, Steven, breathe. You promised…"

"What's going on in there!?" Blanc shouted from the other side of the door.

"Trying really hard to not have a nerdgasm. Gear, let me at it." I said, moving to her tablet.

"Okay?" She replied, handing it to me.

"Time to figure out how to do things." With my hands on the device and a bit of focus, the blue circuit lines that nearly made me squeal like a girl that was just asked to prom spread across it. With the technopathic abilities of Rex Salazar, something I'm going to have to ask Brigid about later, I got past everything that was keeping Nepgear out. Turns out that the backdoor was sending information to two completely different locations. The smaller one was tied to the larger server, but also had a direct connection to Noire's network. "We…have a problem…"

"So don't we!" Souji yelled before he audibly ran off. From the sounds of it, Blanc followed after him.

"Call your sister, Gear. There was two places, not just one. You can send the locations through your tablet." With that this GCG should be capable of, I created a hover bike from my legs and easily sped past my two friends and caught the one they were chasing. With one hand I held his mouth open in case of a cyanide pill. It's cliché, but so aren't evil cults. "Gotcha." Looking at the exposed skin on his arm, the same mark was visible.

"What was that?" Souji asked.

Not important right now. This guy is a part of that cult."

"Do you wish for is to interrogate them, sir?" A different Basilicom soldier asked.

"You got infiltrated once." Blanc commented, pointing at the man beneath me. "There's a good chance that there's more. Sorry if we aren't willing to trust you."

"Fair enough, Lady White Heart. I'll leave him in your care." Souji, probably getting why I'm holding his face hole open, reached in, moved around, and removed a false tooth that broke into powder in his grip.

"Damn you, traitors!" The restrained man roared. "You'll be the ones to die after those damnable CPUs!"

"H-How did you get so far so quickly…?" Nepgear huffed, out of breath from running.

"It's complicated."

"A bike came out of your legs. That's an understatement." Blanc deadpanned.

"…I called Big Sis, and they're going to both places. What are we going to do with him?" Nepgear asked.

"Blanc should know her way around an interrogation (read: torture) room." I "suggested". "We can take him to Planeptune's Basilicom. We know that it's relatively secure." With no one objecting, I deactivated Brigid's GCG and we traveled to the tall capital building. Sure enough, Blanc was very good at being the bad cop. On the other hand, I was designated as the team good cop. Would've liked to beat this guy around too, but it just wasn't in the cards. I was told that it was because I "get people"/. Between the two of us, we were able to learn what their plan was. The Cult of Geardite was using the Seven Sages as a mean to eliminate the CPUs so that it would be easier to call their god. With the interrogation over we gave him to the army to lock away until his trial.

"I made us something to drink." Nepgear said, bringing us and the kids glasses of lemonade.

"Thank you!" The three children said before they chugged their drinks.

"How did it go?" Monika asked.

"We got what we needed." Souji answered. "All we have to do is wait for the others."

"I see. Dad, didn't you say you played an instrument?"

"Yup, though since it's been so long, I probably can't do anything past the basics."

"Didn't take you for a musician." Blanc mused.

"Before all of this, I was a band nerd. Wasn't the biggest and nerds, that title goes to two of my friends, but I played a lot." The idle chatter lasted for hours before it was interrupted by the other group returning, cut and bruised.

"Sup, bitches?" Johnny asked. His clothes were torn but he looked no worse for wear. Must've died at some point. Behind him, bound in rope that could've only come from his wife were four out of the seven Seven Sages. "The witch and the Rat got the hell out of Dodge and the big guy is outside."

"My, my, what a collection of men you ladies have." A flamboyant voice commented. "They certainly make up the quantity with quality."

"Now is not the time, Anonydeath." Mr. Badd said. "What will you be doing with us? We have rights, so I know that we won't be killed."

"That's right. I'll be questioning each of you individually." I replied to the man. "Abnes, would you please follow me?" Neptune separated her from her group and I led her to the barren room we've been using. Thankfully we had the bright idea to clean up the blood.

"I'm not telling you anything!" The girl huffed as she sat down in the chair.

"Abnes, do you realize just how much trouble in? By all definitions you're an international terrorist. That alone is enough to make it so you never see the light of day again. But if you work with us, we may just be able to help."

"I don't really know anything. I'm just in charge of PR."

"That's okay. Just tell me what you do know."

"A few months ago we were visited by a guy in robes saying he was from…I don't remember…"

"They call themselves the Church of Geardite, though they're more like a cult."

"Yeah, that was the name. He said that he wanted to help us get rid of the CPUs."

"Okay, is that all?"

"He was a real creep. The way he looked at the failed experiments made me want to stay as far away as I could."

"What experiments?"

"It'd be better if you asked the old man. He's in charge of that."

"Alright. Bring in the other woman please"

"Rei. Her name is Rei."

"Thank you, Abnes." Rei was brought in and Abnes was reattached to the others.

"H-Hello…"She greeted meekly.

"Hi. Can you please state your name for the record? You aren't exactly known compared to most other members of your organization." I asked, preparing to write what she says."

"Rei Ryghts. What's happening?"

"Well, you're currently being held because you and the others are international terrorists. Fortunately for you, because of what we know of the cult you managed to get ourselves involved with, you aren't a priority. Because of that, the more you say, the better."

"I…I really don't know much. Most of what we did was managed by Mr. Badd. I just…I just wanted to give the people a voice…"

"I understand that, but this isn't the way." I replied, standing up to trade her with the suit guy.

"Why hello there~…How are you?"

"I'm fine. You?"

"I could be better. My pictures of Noire were destroyed when they raided us."

"You obtained them without her knowledge or permission after hacking her nation's entire internet infrastructure. Do you realize how much trouble you're in?"

"Of course. That's a risk you run as a hacker."

"If you just wanted Noire, why join the Seven Sages? Why work with the Cult of Geardite?"

"Simple. Resources. Both had tech that I just couldn't get on my own. As long as I caused an issue for the current system, I could do and request anything I wanted."

"Makes sense, in a weird way. Now for the important question: What do you have on that cult?"

"Hmhmhmm…That depends…What will you give me in exchange?"

"At minimum? A reduced jail sentence. I don't think I'm allowed to discuss deals though."

"Oh, I'm not asking for anything special. Just a picture with my precious Noire." It was muffled, but Noire screaming could be heard.

"That's surprisingly tame. I'll see about it. One moment." I left the room, and was immediately verbally assaulted.

"No! Hell no! I won't take a picture with that creep!"

"Noire, this could be our only chance to get information about this clearly bigger threat. If they really were pulling this strings all these years, then we will have a problem later on." Neptune reasoned.

"She has a point, dear." Vert agreed.

"Aw, they're so cute…" I could hear Rei coo towards the four children that Monika was watching over.

"Just take the damn picture!" Blanc growled.

"Fine! Just, can a few people be there, just in case?"

"I'll be there, and 'Tia is a damn good camerawoman." I suggested to her. I don't know why she was so nervous. They posed, we took the picture, and somehow the robotic mask was blushing. Once the photo was in his hand, he handed me two flash drives.

"One is all the data you want and maybe a bit more. The other is the encryption key needed to make any use of it. Couldn't let them know I had this, after all." The last of the four members that could fit into the building was escorted in.

"Hello, Mr. Badd. It's been a while."

"I has." He replied.

"So, I've been told of a few things about you. Dealing with the Cult of Geardite, managing the Seven Sages' movements, and something about experiments. Where would you like to start?"

"I believe that the Sages would be best."

"Why help the Seven Sages? You're a smart businessman. You would know plenty of legal ways to get a much more peaceful result."

"Sometimes a radical approach is required for change."

"And nonviolent protest works just as well. I'd love to debate you further on this, but we both know that there's more important subjects to cover. Tell me about the experiments."

"They told me about you. Playing nice won't work."

"Mr. Badd, I'll admit that I'm the good cop here. Do you really want a run in with the bad cop? Blanc has mentioned wanting another go at you, and the last person left her a little miffed."

"Hmph. Just like a CPU to jump to violence."

"Please. Talk to me. I'd rather not have to deal with another bloody mess. Getting the stain out of the carpet was a pain the first time, and research has shown that torture doesn't work all that well." The balding man sat in silence for a minute before leaning on the table.

"…Fine, bit on one condition."

"It depends on what you're asking."

"Help them."

"Help who?"

"My children. I…I have done some things. Terrible things. We were responsible for the missing children. The plan was to create a puppet CPU to create a nation where we ruled and would take the Shares from the other nations."

"You turned all those children into monsters using CPU Memories."

"Yes. I've been trying to change them back, but between our plans and dealing with that despicable group, I haven't had many chances." I turned to the door, and when I saw the shadow of a head nod deeply, I turned back.

"Okay. We'll get our best people on it."

"T-Thank you." His tough façade broke as his gratitude showed. Since he was showing his true feelings, I decided it was time to show mine.

"What about the cult? Why partner with them?" I asked with a scowl.

"At first, it was simply that we had the same goal; to get rid of the CPUs and give humanity control. I believe there was a few of us that thought there was more to it."

"Abnes and Annonydeath said similar things."

"Yes, Abnes brought it to my attention. Once I saw the looks my children were receiving, I asked the hacker to look into it. Knowing him, he went above and beyond."

"That's what he was hinting at, and it's something that he felt an encryption key was necessary."

"I see. I have read their book. Something it not right." He said, getting closer to me and lowering his voice. "There is too much that is too vague, and with just as much contradictions. And the man they sent. I did not think a mortal man could smell of death like that."

"Okay, that's all I needed. Like I told the others, there will be a word put in for reduced sentences, given your cooperation. I'll personally make sure that someone gets to those children as soon as possible." He was taken away, and the four were being cuffed as I exited.

"What do we do now?" Nepgear asked.

"You are going to take these and work with Histy and Monika to get the info on these." I replied, handing the two storage devices to her. "We really can't do much else until we get what's on there or they show their faces. Monika, do you mind?"

"I think I might be able to help."

"Dammit!" Blanc shouted, putting a fist through a table. "We kill one problem and another one shows up!"

"We just have to be patient. If what we heard is true, then they'll come to us." Neptune countered.

"I still have to screen my personnel." Noire added. "There's no way that there isn't more of them. It might be smart if the rest of you do the same."

"As long as they're out there, there's the chance that they could do to you what they tried to do to me." Cynthia said, hand reaching up to her missing ear.

A few months later, the four were put on trial, and I was called to testify. They pleaded guilty and they were sentenced. Each of them were given twenty five years with a chance of parole. Even after all this time, the files were only nine percent done decrypting. I blame that on Histy's processing power and the ridiculous of that insanely good hacker. The scientists that I had gathered from all four nations were hard at work and making decent headway on changing the children back into humans. It took an additional three months after the sentencing to remove all the members from their governments.

"Thank you for taking Monika out of the group with Nepgear and Histoire." Solar said as we laid in bed. "It wasn't doing her mental health any good."

"Yeah, I really need to make that up to her." I cuddled up to her. "Maybe a cake. She seems to like it when I bake for her."

"Maybe. Goodnight, dear."

"Goodnight." I replied, nuzzling into the top of her head and wrapping up another chapter of our lives.

 **Well, the beginning notes are kind pointless seeing as how I'm typing this the Monday night of my first day back on campus. I seriously don't have much to say, so I'll just cut myself short and see ya later.**


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